


Looking in the same direction

by ThwipBit (charlion_em)



Series: Chasing the Sun [1]
Category: Marvel, Nova (Comics), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Slow Build, Spideynova - Freeform, slight AU, why are these two idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-04-05 21:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 84,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4195317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlion_em/pseuds/ThwipBit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SpideyNova. The team wrestles with the changes that are coming. High school is over and they have choices to make. Will Peter wait too long to tell Sam how he feels? Does Sam even feel the same? And does it even mater how they feel? Slow build.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fic for this fandom. Please review and point out any mistakes I made. I tend to overlook stupid mistakes even after re-reading over and over because I know what it supposed to say and my brain just thinks that IS what it says).
> 
> This is also my first fic on AO3- long time reader! I've only used this site on mobile, so I apologize ahead of time for any silly noob mistakes I make!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

The smell of the tricarrier's infirmary always lingered in Peter's nose. It was a mix of disinfectant and failure. He supposed it was the failure that stuck with him the longest after a visit; even a short one like today. Fortunately, he was the only one on the team with a major injury after their run-in with Beetle.

The automatic doors closed behind him as he left the infirmary. Danny was waiting for him and gave Peter a small smile. He had been discharged twenty minutes before Peter with only minor burns and cuts.

Peter smiled back, "Thank you for waiting".

"No problem my friend. I hope all is well."

Peter held up his bandaged left arm. "I have a 'get out of training' pass. At least I'll live." He laughed at Danny's expression and cut him off, "It is just a small fracture. I'll be healed up in a week...two tops." Injuries were part of the job. Over the years he had perfected the whole making excuses thing. This time he was going to tell MJ and Aunt May he got his wrist stuck in a drain while trying to get his phone out. Yep, totally believable.

He followed Danny down the hall as he filled Peter in on what the others where up to. Ava and Luke were training together, but he had not seen Sam since they returned from the mission. At the mention of Sam's name Peter snorted. It was, after all, his fault he almost lost an arm. Okay, exaggeration, but still!

Danny gave Peter a knowing look. "You should talk to him. As...team leader you are responsible for keeping us apprised of our strengths and limitations. Sam's actions today could have caused much more damage."

Peter blinked at Danny's straightforwardness and lack of hidden meanings...and the fact he was parroting exactly what Peter was thinking- just minus the name calling. He opened his mouth to tell Danny just that, but his friend put up a hand to silence him. Peter frowned, but nodded for his friend to continue.

Danny frowned. "You are his leader, yes, but you are also his friend. It would be wise to avoid making the same mistake as last time Sam made an error. I would advise you to give your emotions a rest and discus this matter when you can be objective. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

Peter grumbled, "You were doing so well at making sense, then you go all fortune cookie on me." He sighed. Danny had a point, yelling at Bucket Brains would not fix anything, and would only grow the rift he was desperately trying to close. He frowned again, now his inner dialogue was talking in riddles like Danny.

The monk watched the expressions on his friend's face with interest. "Perhaps you could do with a good vent? You have not been quite yourself the last few weeks." He motioned to the door to his room.

Peter blinked, he hadn't been paying attention to where they were walking. "You planned this, didn't you?"

Danny just grinned and opened his door. Peter followed him in and was happy to realize the incense smell was almost not noticeable. They settled in on his small couch and began to talk about the mission. Danny filled Peter in on the bits he had missed and Peter did the same for Danny. It had became a bit of a ritual for them; after a difficult mission they would talk about what worked, what didn't, and find ways to improve the team. Over the years they had worked together they created several new strategies just by analyzing their own failures. Usually it was just the two of them. Ava was too busy with school to spend time on planing. Her and Luke would rather just train using the new strategies than come up with them. Peter never invited Sam, it was often an error on Sam's end that caused the meeting anyway.

Sam. Peter grinned. He would have complained about how it was too much work to strategize in their hypothetical situations anyway. Thinking about making Sam sit through a brainstorming session was tempting, he always looked cute when he was bored. Sam would puff out his cheeks, or nibble is bottom lip, or even-

"Peter, are you listening?"

Peter could feel his neck turn red at being caught spacing. "Sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Just thinking…"

"You have been doing a lot of that lately. Are you sure everything is alright?" Danny was genuinely concerned. Peter could see it all over his face. Danny was never one to hide behind a mask when it came to his friends.

It made what Peter had to say even more difficult. He had truly come to care for his teammates. Even Nova. Especially Nova. They still bickered, but Peter didn't put the venom into it he once did. Eventually Nova backed off as well and they started to consider each other friends- not that they would admit that out loud. Over the last three years they all became close. It was hard not to; they had to trust each other on the field, and who else could they vent to about hero related stuff?

They had each other, their small team. Peter didn't want to lose it. He signed as Danny patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts. All good things must end eventually.

They had to grow up.

"Danny I," Peter shook his head. How could he even begin? "I was accepted to a few colleges and I'm debating which to go to." There, he said it. The fact college would most likely mean moving away from New York didn't need to be said out loud.

Danny smiled, "Yes, I imagine you are not alone in that. Ava mentioned debating about schools as well."

"Yes, well. If I choose my top pick...I'll be moving quite a bit away...and anyway we slice it, the team isn't going to continue."

Danny smiled, "We should probably have a team meeting. Discussing our future plans as individuals will show us a path to our team's future. We should not fear holding back, preparing for the inevitable will make it that much easier to accept."

"And what about you?"

"I suspect I will follow Ava to whichever city she decides on. There is no reason for me to remain here, and I do not wish to return to K'un Lun without her by my side."

Peter laughed, "Leave it to you two to follow each other to the ends of the world and back." He was glad, they were a good together. Something mundane should not tear them apart. They had been dating for almost a year at that point, and Peter envied them. Until recently he had never really thought about relationships or dating, being a hero always came first.

Danny stared Peter in the eye, "Relationships are about two individuals who maintain their own lives and create another one together. Do not let your own inhibitions keep you from happiness."

Peter looked away, could Danny know about his feelings for Sam? "I don't know what you're babbling about fortune cookie breath."

"Peter, we only have a few months left of high school. A few months before we may part ways. You will regret the 'what if' more than if you are rejected." Danny waited until Peter looked at him again before continuing. "Because, 'what if' Sam feels the same about you?"

With a sigh Peter dropped his head. Leave it to Danny to figure it out. "How long have you known?"

"Longer than you have."

Peter groaned. He didn't need to look up to know Danny had a smug expression plastered across his face.

"Do you know if he feels the same?" He was unsure how deep his feelings for Sam ran, but he was still curious. It had only been a few months since he admitted to himself he was physically attracted to Sam. He wouldn't allow himself to hope his interest was returned, and did his best to ignore it. But he suddenly felt like he may have a chance, and he could always move a few states away if it turned ugly.

"I am unsure. Once  _I_  noticed your attraction to Sam -I think it was sometime last summer- I tried to get a read on him as well...for science." Hey, that was Peter's line! "But the last six months or so Sam has been distant. I can not read him from behind his helmet, and he does not spend much time with us anymore."

"So, it's not just me he has been avoiding?"

"No. Perhaps you can ask him about it when you talk to him about today's mission?"

Peter nodded, "Yea, I'll talk to him after school tomorrow. That should give both of us time to cool off." Despite his attraction to Nova he knew he would yell at him if they tried to talk now. He cared about Sam, but they were barely even friends.

They stayed on Danny's couch talking and bouncing from topic to topic. They stayed away from the heavy topics and focused on lighter subjects - like what their senior prank should be. Surprisingly, Danny was genuinely excited about pulling the prank and had some good ideas.

Peter lost track of time until his phone beeped with a text message.

[7:02pm] Aunt May: Will you be home for dinner?

CRAP. "Well, I should be going…"

"Indeed."

"I'll talk to the team about having a team meeting. I'll let you know when". With that he waved and let himself out of Danny's room. He pulled his phone out as he walked down the corridor and began to type a response to Aunt May.

[7:10pm] Peter: I'll grab something on my way home, late study with Ava and MJ. Don't wait up.

He intended to ask Fury for a shuttle down, no way he could drive his cycle one handed. Then Nova caught his eye and he had second thoughts. Maybe he could guilt the bucket head into carrying him off the tricarrier? The thought of being held and carried by Sam caused him to forget why talking to the other hero was not a good idea at that moment.

He sauntered up behind the other teen. Sam was leaning on a railing and watching the clouds from the windows. In the reflection he saw Sam's eyes move to his own and the shorter teen tensed. Oh, right, talking right now would not be good.

Peter took a step back and started to walk off to find Fury instead. He made it two steps before his path was cut off by Sam. The shorter teen's expression was blank. Sam was sizing up Peter, searching his face for something. Whatever it was, he must not have found it because he glared at Peter.

Sam's tone was low and harsh, "So, I'm not even worth the time to yell at now?"

What?! Before Peter could respond Sam continued.

"I know you think I'm a fuck up, but you could at least pretend I'm not."

Peter sighed, "Sam." He put his good hand on Sam's shoulder, but it was shrugged off. "Sam, I don't want to talk about it now. I was going to grab you after school tomorrow, I think we both need time to cool off."

Sam crossed his arms. "Fine." He turned and started walking away.

Peter grinned. "Wait!"

Sam stopped and looked over his shoulder. "What?"

Peter raised his left arm, showing Sam the bandage. "Mind giving me a lift home?"

Sam blinked and his face went blank again. Since when had he became good at hiding his emotions? "Sure," He sighed.

Peter gave himself a mental high-five.

After Sam retrieved his helmet they walked to the carrier deck in full costume. He had been carried by Nova before. But that was before he realized he was attracted to the other hero. The web-slinger was so very glad his mask hid his face because he was certainly blushing- and they were still just standing side-by-side. Nova gave him no warning and scooped him up in one fluid motion. Peter  _may_  have screamed, and he definitely threw his arms around Nova's neck for support. It was  _totally_  for support and no other reason.

"Uh, dammit webs, let go." Peter reluctantly removed his arms and tried not to focus on how close Nova's face was to his. The trip was too short. He set Peter down a few blocks from Aunt May's house. "Geez web head, you should lay off the pizza…"

Their normal banter was a good sign, but Peter shook his head and didn't take the bait. On the short flight there he decided to take Danny's advice. He was going to confess to Sam, and he would just live with the embarrassment if he was rejected. First, he needed them to be on good terms, picking a fight would not get him there.

"Listen, Nova…" Crap. He couldn't confess now...he needed a plan, needed to prepare what he wanted to say. That was totally the reason, he wasn't chickening out.

"Don't Spider-man. Just, don't".

"Don't what?" He frowned behind his mask, could Nova know?

"Don't pretend like everything is okay. I Fucked up. I fucked up bad this time and you almost…" He trailed off and looked up at the stars that were starting to shine.

Peter sighed. So much for having this talk tomorrow. "I'm fine. No major damage, everyone lived, Beetle was caught." He put his hand on Sam's shoulder and this time it wasn't shrugged off. "You made a mistake, it happens. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and move on." He smiled, although Nova could not see it. He was proud of himself, he was able to keep his temper in check.

"Maybe I could learn if you would let me join in on your mission dissections. You think I don't know about them? Or that I'm the only one that has never been invited?" He held up a hand as Peter began to talk. "I know, I know: I suck, I'm hopeless, and I'm not worth your time. Well, maybe I wanted to be part of the team too! Maybe I'm sick of not having any input on the team!"

Peter could feel his temper rising. "Why would you think those things, Nova? You are a valuable member of the team. I didn't invite you because I thought you would hate it."

"No, you didn't invite me because I'm the one who always fucks up the missions. You're talking about MY fuck ups and never wanted me there. Then you're free to make fun of me and call me-"

Peter shoved him. Hard. "Enough." Nova staggered back. "Nova, none of that is true. Just ask Danny! This is why I wanted to talk tomorrow. We are both too tired from today to be objective with this conversation. But if you want to have it now then FINE." He sat down and motioned for Sam to join him.

He drew in a shaky breath to calm himself. What was it Danny said? Team leader and friend? "Sam, you are important to this team. Not just on missions, but as a friend. As  _my_  friend. I want to make the most of what time we have left, and I don't want to spend it fighting or ignoring each other." He paused, giving Sam time to talk if he wanted. "I don't think you are a fuck up. Why would you think that?"

"You were hurt because of me…"

"True. But how many times have you saved my life?"

Sam squirmed. "Fine, you made your point. I'd rather have you yelling at me."

Peter smiled, but Sam couldn't see it. "I will. Tomorrow. Right now, we need some space. Video games at my place after school? Aunt May is leaving in the morning and won't be back till Sunday." Peter held his breath while he waited for Sam to answer.

"Fiiiine."

"Its a date!" Whoops.

Sam stared at him for a moment then snorted. "Gross dude"

Spider-man cringed behind his mask. Guess he knew where they stood on the whole possible romance thing. He had no reason to even think Sam was even into guys, let alone  _him_.

They said their farewells and Peter went home. He stared at his ceiling for hours, thinking. For the last few months he had laid on his bed like this. At first he had a hard time coming to terms with his attraction towards Sam. He had never really dated before, but he just  _assumed_  he was straight. At first he was distraught, how would he tell Aunt May? But then he realized she wouldn't care at all. Then it had been 'why Sam?'. Of all the guys he knew...He had never felt the need to reach out and hold Harry the way he wanted to hold Sam.

Being close to MJ or Harry never sent shivers down his spine and to his toes.

For Peter it was gradual. He would find himself leaning too close to Sam, or he would be unable to think clearly when Sam would smile -a real smile- because of something Peter did. He could not figure out why he caught himself staring at Sam from across the room, or why he felt lonely when Sam wouldn't be able to hang out.

It was late one night after patrol when he finally put it together. Nova had rushed into a fight headstrong and just barely made it out alive. For a brief moment Peter panicked and felt his heart ache in a way he had not experienced since his Uncle Ben's death. But Nova survived, without so much as a scratch. And he was cocky. Peter was relieved, and also very angry. After their debriefing he corned Nova and yelled at him for rushing in alone. He was ashamed at the names he called Sam, but he was angry, and hurt, and confused. He wanted to hold Sam to be sure he was still there. But instead he yelled. Not the stern 'I'm your team leader and I'm disappointed' yelling he had perfected over the years. No, he poured all his hurt and rage into tearing Nova down.

Nova had just stood there nodding every so often, and said, "I understand," when Peter was done. And Peter felt awful, but his conflicting emotions kept him from doing what he knew he should.

It had taken Sam over a week to talk to him after that. Peter let him have his distance, he needed it too. The confusion surrounding his attraction to his teammate clouded him for several days. It was the Friday after the incident when Peter realized Sam didn't come over for their weekly game night. After another week they were almost back to normal, except Nova still never came over for their game night. He made up excuses whenever Peter invited him over; and although Peter saw right through them he didn't push the issue.

As he laid in bed he replayed the conversation he just had with Nova. Tomorrow would be the first time they hung out since Peter realized his attraction and subsequently yelled at him. He supposed he should apologize for his harsh words from a few months before. He was ashamed of what he remembered saying. And in his anger he couldn't even remember most of what he had said; but he could tell he hurt Nova deeply.

If Sam's reaction to his joke - totally not a Freudian slip- about tomorrow being a date was anything to go on...his chances of getting Sam were slim. But did he 'want' Sam? He could now openly admit to himself that the other teen was good looking. He had filled out since they first met, but he was still very slim. It was with great glee that Peter realized Sam was still a few inches shorter. Recently he also started to notice how pretty his eyes were, and if he closed his own eyes he could see them. Peter often caught himself appreciating how his costume clung to his form. He wanted to hold him, to kiss him to...do other things with him, which was all new to him.

But did he want to date Sam? He wasn't sure he was confident enough to ask for a casual night or two- mostly because he wouldn't trust himself to let it end at that- but that didn't mean he wanted to BE with Sam romantically.

Okay, he did. He would space out in class and think of taking Sam on a real date. Being with Sam was something he could envision working long term, and it scared the crap out of Peter. Between school and being Spider-man, he never had time to date. Keeping his secret identity, well,  _secret_ , just compounded the reasons he hadn't dated anyone. He was a walking complication.

Peter drifted off to sleep with thoughts of Sam swimming through his head.

He didn't notice he forgot to get dinner.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> I love hearing from readers about what you liked or didn't like. I can not grow without critique!
> 
> I I will be pulling some stuff from the comics later in the story- but it will be minor and fully explained


	2. Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the 'texting' thing...I wanted to introduce it now because it will be a major plot point later. I hope it doesn't turn anyone off, and if there is a better way for me to do it please tell me!

 

* * *

The next morning Peter said his goodbyes to Aunt May and made his way to school. He was nervous about Sam being at his house without Aunt May there. At least if she were there he would absolutely not make a move, regardless of how tempting it was. But he was doomed to spend the afternoon alone with the person he desired -wait desired? When did he decide that?

He hoped a villain would show up and cancel the whole thing before he made an ass out of himself.

Luck wasn't on his side. Or it was. Peter wasn't sure which would be better: super villain fight or an afternoon alone with Sam.

By lunch there was no sign of any trouble requiring Spiderman. Avoiding Sam was still his priority and he quickly found a seat next to MJ. She was a few tables away from where the rest of his team was already sitting. Sometimes MJ would sit with the team, sometimes she and Harry would sit by themselves or with their other friends. Peter tried to rotate who he sat with, but since his and Nova's last fight he spent most of his lunches with MJ. Hey, he needed some personal space. Space. Nova. Nova in his personal space...

"You okay there Pete?" MJ smirked at his dazed expression.

"Sorry MJ, spacing out..."

She hummed. "You've been doing that a lot lately."

"Because," Harry said as he set his lunch at the seat across from them, "someone finally caught his eye."

Damn his observant friends. He couldn't think of a witty comeback or joke to counter Harry's accusation. He settled for something between gaping and grimacing.

"Oh...my...Peter you are sooo blushing! So it is true? I thought Harry was crazy when he suggested that yesterday, but..yes!" She threw a fist in the air. "It's about time! High School is almost over, you need to ask her out before it is too late! Do we know her? I can totally put in a good word for you. She would be stupid not to say yes!"

Peter let his head fall onto his sandwich. So much for hiding it any longer. He wasn't sure if he wanted to come out yet...or if he even was gay, or just for Sam. He did have a biiit of a girly figure if you squinted. And he was the only guy he ever felt this way about...but he also never felt like this around a girl...

He sat up and took a deep breath to steady himself. "I don't want to talk about it. It wouldn't work, and you're right, high school is almost over and I'll be moving away for college, and...and I don't want to get attached. "

MJ patted him on the back. "So, you decide which school you're going to?" Her and Harry already decided to study in New York. There was no way MJ was going to leave her job at the Bugle. He felt terrible for thinking about leaving, but he needed a change. On Aunt May's advice he had applied to several schools, and, surprise, he got accepted to nearly all of them.

"Not yet. But, who turns down Stanford? They have a fantastic biology department, and state of the art facilities..." Peter huffed, and it costs way too much. But if he wanted change, there was nothing quite like moving across the country.

"Hey, Stanford. You have baloney on your face." Peter looked up and blinked. Sam was standing behind Harry with a blank expression. When did he walk over? How much had he heard? Sam walked away as quickly as he had appeared. Briefly he wondered if Sam wanted to talk to him, but quickly dismissed the idea. He was probably just walking past and couldn't ignore an opportunity to throw out a jab.

"Damnit." Peter excused himself to go wash his face. He totally did not run out of the cafeteria to avoid taking to MJ about 'feelings'. Nope.

He was able to avoid MJ and Harry the rest of the day. There was no way MJ was going to let the subject rest until he told her who he was 'crushing' on. Shudder. He was also able to avoid Sam since after lunch- a skill which he perfected over the last month or so. When the final bell rang he shuffled outside to meet Sam.

The bucket head was no where to be seen when he got out of the school. And, darn, no villains. While he waited for Sam his phone buzzed.

[3:01pm] MJ: you are not off the hook.  
[3:01pm] Peter: For what?

Peter glared at his phone; he was going to have to come up with something to set her on the wrong path.

"Space to webs," Sam waved his hand in front of Peter's face.

Peter jumped at the sudden intrusion into his personal space and put his phone in his pocket before Nova could read the texts. Nova loooooved to snoop. "Dammit bucket creep, don't you know what personal space is?" If he was honest with himself, he didn't mind Sam being so close.

Sam took a half step back and shrugged. "I wanted to talk to you at lunch, but you seemed to be having too much fun with your sandwich. Mrs. Preston, my English teacher, she wants me to stay after to make up that test I missed last week. You know, when you-know-who decided to wreck up downtown during 3rd period."

Peter frowned, "So you're canceling. Again."

Sam jumped, "No, no! Not canceling. Just, won't be over until... for like an hour or so. I'll come straight to your place when I finish making up my test." He shrugged, "that alright?"

Peter nodded. "Yea, I'll see you in a bit." He watched as Sam visibly relaxed then just nodded and walked home.

Normally he would duck in an ally and change into his costume and web sling home in no time. But today he wanted to take the long way. Walking gave him time to think and organize his thoughts. The whole day he avoided thinking about how to talk to Sam.

When he reached his house 30 minutes later, he still had no clue what to say. He sighed and threw his bag onto the chair next to the couch. Aunt May had already left, so he didn't particularly care if he made a mess.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and groaned at who the message was from.

[3:40pm] MJ: Is it someone I know?  
[3:40pm] Peter: MJ, please just let this go.

He had no hope she would let the matter drop. Five minutes later his phone buzzed again

[3:45pm] MJ: I'm just going to guess until I get it right  
[3:45pm] Peter: I won't tell you if you do happen to guess

  
[3:46pm] Sam: omw. Pizza?

Peter sighed and dialed the pizza delivery number. When he and Sam would hang out almost every week they made a ritual of ordering pizza. He knew just which toppings Sam liked, which he hated, and which he would complain about but secretly love. So he ordered Sam's favorite and went about setting up his game system. Since the whole thing with the guardians of the galaxy he usually kept it in his room. That way Aunt May could have the tv in the living room and wouldn't be as quick to remind him to do chores. But his rational side kicked in and reminded him that Sam+Room+Alone= Disaster. Heavy on the dis.

While working on sitting up the system his phone kept going off. He took it out of his pocket, saw there were several texts from MJ, and threw it on the couch. He would just pretend they didn't exist.

Peter just finished plugging in the wires and was about to put the controllers on the couch when there was a knock at his door.

"Wow, the pizza got here fast." He ran into the kitchen to grab the $20 Aunt May had left him. With the money in hand he opened the door, only to find Sam standing awkwardly on his porch.

Weird, he normally just let himself in. Peter stepped back to give Sam room to walk inside.

Sam smirked, "Sorry Parker, I cost waaay more than $20."

A million comebacks raced through his mind, ranging from calling Sam a 'cheap whore worth about tree fiddy', to asking him if that was why he was always late for training. He spun his internal wheel and it landed on 'blushing and stammering out a quick, "Uh, thought you were the pizza guy."

Sam snorted, walked passed him, and threw his bag on the left side of the couch. With a sigh he sprawled out on the couch and shrugged at Peter. "I hate English. So, you going to yell at me now?"

Peter closed the door and observed Sam. He was sitting on the middle cushion, legs crossed on the coffee table and arms draped across the back of the couch. It was how he often sat, but the tension in his shoulders gave him away. Sam was nervous. It was a defense mechanism Peter caught Sam using often: pretend to be at ease and show no fear.

Opting for a less direct approach, Peter crossed the room and gathered the controllers. He turned to hand one to Sam and heard his phone buzz again. Never one to respect personal space or property, Sam immediately grabbed his phone off the couch and started reading the texts. Peter freaked and dropped the controllers.

"Drop it!" He lunged towards Sam,who moved to the side.

Sam grinned and read as many texts as he could before Peter grabbed his phone back. "Dude, what is MJ going on about?"

Oh, great. What had she text? How much had Sam read?

[3:50pm] MJ: Ava? That would be the most obvious  
[3:52pm] MJ: You do spend a lot of time with her  
[3:55pm] MJ: Sara, from bio?  
[3:56pm] MJ: That girl from English? Whats her name?  
[3:56pm] MJ: The blonde that always wears sweaters even when it's hot?  
[3:56pm] MJ: Jessica is her name.

[3:57pm] MJ: Veronica?  
[3:57pm] MJ: The Maston twins?  
[3:57pm] MJ: Someone I don't know?  
[3:57pm] MJ: Peter?  
[3:57pm] MJ: Are you ignoring me?!  
[3:57pm] MJ: Hello!  
[3:59pm] MJ: I'm not giving up!  
[3:59pm] MJ: please? See, I'm not above begging!  
[4:00pm] MJ: Peter!

Peter groaned, she was not going to let up. He peered over his phone to where Sam was sitting. The other teen had an unreadable expression. Was he really expecting Peter to yell at him like the last time? He was still tense.

[4:02pm] Peter: Sorry, was cleaning up. Sam came over to play video games

He sent the quick text back and threw his phone on the table. Maybe MJ would leave him alone for a bit. Peter sat on the couch and sighed. MJ was so far off on all of her guesses. At least she would never guess at this rate, but she would be completely blown away if he did fess up.

How would his friends handle it if he did, on the very rare chance, date Sam? Sam, who was sitting right next to him. Almost too close. He didn't try it! It was a complete accident that his bag was on the chair and Sam's was on the couch. He totally didn't mean for them to be sitting side by side. Not that he was complaining. Feeling the other boy's body heat was comforting. It wasn't like they never sat this close before, they often did when they played games together. But now it was different for Peter. Now, he was far too aware of Sam. Now, he wanted to be even closer.

Movement from his right pulled him from his thoughts. Sam was adjusting his position and moved slightly away from Peter. He turned to look at Sam. A sigh came from Sam and he found himself wanting nothing more than to grab him, hug him, and apologize over and over for his tirade. But that would probably cause more problems between them.

"So..."

A knock at the door interrupted what was going to be the start of a very awkward conversation. Why had he not prepared what he was going to say? Why did he think winging it was a good idea?

He came back shortly with two pizzas and set them on the table in front of the couch. Sam dug in immediately and Peter followed suit.

Halfway through his first slice, Peter realized he didn't have an appetite. He blamed it on his guilt and totally not the fluttering in his stomach being this close to Sam was causing. Okay, it was both. Getting it over with sounded good. He sat his half eaten slice down and turned to look at Sam next to him. The black haired teen seemed to be fairing the same, and had only nibbled on his slice.

"I hate this." Peter glared at the wall. He felt Sam tense next to him.

"I know. I'm sorry I let you down again. My 'showboating' got you injured. Just yell at me and get it over with." Sam stared at his lap. "You are the team leader, like you said last time. So, just throw me off the team already. Stop dragging this out."

"Sam! No! Why would I kick you off the team? I wanted to talk about...Look, I'm just winging this so forgive me if I ramble." He sighed. "I am sorry about everything I said before. I should have apologized weeks ago, but, I thought we were okay. I mean, we've fought before...well, most of our interactions since we met have been a fight of some sort. I thought we just needed space to cool down, but I didn't expect you to start avoiding me."

He watched Sam as he talked, but the other teen just stared at his lap. "Sam, I was incredibly angry that night...I honestly do not remember half of what I said to you. But what I do remember..." He shook his head. "Anger or not, I had no right to talk to you like that. You deserve more from me."

Sam looked up warily at him. "You are the team leader. You can talk to us -me- however you want."

"Dammit Sam! No! If I have learned anything while working with SHIELD, it is that being a team leader is a choice, not a rank. I should not have called you a failure, because you are far from it! You are a great hero, and I am proud to have you on my team." He put his good arm on Sam's shoulder. "I don't think you are a fuck up at all, if anyone is, it is me. I've been so caught up in my own issues lately I didn't stop to think how you must feel."

Sam went back to looking at his lap. "So, you don't hate me?"

"Far from it Sam." Now just wasn't the time to tell him just how much he didn't hate him. He smiled when Sam looked up to meet his eyes.

"I think I'd prefer you go back to being an insufferable prick over this sappy crap." Sam grumbled and shrugged Peter's hand off his shoulder, but his smile betrayed him.

Peter grinned. "Sappy? You have not seen sappy yet!" And he pulled Sam in for a hug before his rational side could argue against it. For a brief moment Sam relaxed into the embrace and Peter inhaled the smell of Sam. If he could bottle it up he would...never share it. Never.

As quickly as Peter initiated the hug, Sam pulled out of it. "No one finds out about that. Ever." He stood up and walked into the kitchen calling over his shoulder, "Do you want a soda?"

"Sure." It was everything Peter dreamed it would be, and having a small taste of Sam only made him yearn more. Yearn? He was screwed.

His phone buzzed again. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Sam was still in the kitchen before he picked it up.

[4:15pm] MJ: So, you two are talking again?  
[4:15pm] MJ: Wait...  
[4:15pm] MJ: o.m.g.  
[4:15pm] MJ: Peter! Are you serious?  
[4:15pm] MJ: Squee! Yes, I squeed! Out loud!

He sighed. Really? This was real life? She was going to make a damn good journalist. She had an intuition to rival the greats. He contemplated several responses. Denying it would make her suspicious since he didn't deny any of the others. First thing first, he set his phone to silent. No more MJ interruptions tonight. He was about to type a smart ass response when another text came through.

[4:16pm] Harry: please just tell MJ so she will stop obsessing?

"You're friends sure are nosy." Sam was leaning over the back of the couch and Peter hoped he only read Harry's text.

He took the can Sam offered him, "Yes, they are." He raised an eyebrow at Sam.

"So, is MJ trying to set you up with someone?" Sam opened his soda and resumed eating his pizza.

For a moment Peter debated telling Sam to mind his own, but the tension had left the other teen after Peter apologized. Maybe being more open with Sam would help mend their friendship. Just, you know, not too open.

"Something like that. MJ thinks I should do the whole 'dating' thing. She has always pushed me, but never this bad. I don't think it's a good idea...I mean besides the whole secret identity thing, it's already March. In like less than four months we will graduate, and move away, and I don't think it is fair to get involved with someone." No matter how much he wanted to.

Sam nodded. "So, you are going to Stanford? That's in California, right?"

Peter noted the disappointment in his voice. "So, you only eavesdropped on part of that conversation, huh?" He nudged Sam with his shoulder. This ease around each other again was nice. "I haven't decided yet. But I am proud you know what state it is in, Sparky. Do you also know where California is?"

"Oh shut it web head. I looked it up aft-" Sam cut himself off.

"Aww, you thought about me." Peter was totally not flirting. "How sweet." Hopefully Sam didn't think it was weird.

Sam groaned, and had the noises he made always been that hot? "Yeah, well, at least I've dated before!"

"Liar. I've never seen you with anyone."

"It was before I joined the team. I had a life before you, you know. Haven't really...had the time since."

"Bet she was ugly."

Sam shrugged, "Believe what you want. At least I've been kissed."

Oh, why wouldn't the conversation change? "I have so kissed someone!"

"Aunt May does not count. Neither does anything before, like, you were 12."

Peter huffed. Dammit. Subject change. "Have you decided what college you're going to?"

Sam shrugged, "Wasn't planning on it."

"Oh..."

Sam sighed, "Are we playing the game or what?"

Peter nodded and let the subject drop. They settled in and started playing. Sam suggested playing co-op instead of against each other, and dammit, they were unstoppable. Even with his injured wrist, Peter was able to hold his own. They played for hours and had no concept of the passing of time. Occasionally their shoulders or knees would brush and Peter would become hyper aware of just how close they were. There was something comfortable and familiar about sitting so close next to Sam. All of the harsh words and hurt feelings seemed to have been washed away and they lost themselves in the game.

Guilt had a funny way of creeping back up. Was all of the hurt really gone? Sam was a master of hiding his feelings behind bravado and nonchalance. Was everything between them truly okay? Or was sam just playing 'pretend everything is normal? He wanted to believe it was as simple as apologizing, yet he couldn't help replaying everything Sam had said.

Then it him him.

Peter hit pause on the game.

"What the hell, dude?"

He could feel Sam staring at him, but he kept staring forward at the tv. After a moment, Peter sighed. "Sam, I am asking this as both your friend and teammate." He paused and looked Sam directly in the eyes. "Is everything okay?"

Sam blinked. "Yea, dude. Except we were totally kicking ass you paused the game."

"Sam. You have been distant for a while, even before..." he shook his head. "Do you believe you belong on the team?"

"Dude."

"Because, some of what you said...last night and today...I mean...you said it like you believed it. You didn't defend yourself."

"Dude."

"Sam, please talk to me."

"Dude. Peter. Just stop." Sam looked at his feet.

Peter sighed. "You don't have to talk to me about it. But please talk to someone. Danny is a great listener, and he gives good advice once you translate it." He put a hand on Sam's shoulder, but Sam shrugged it off.

"There is nothing to talk about."

"You are a great hero, Sam. You need to believe in yourself."

Sam jumped up. "Enough with that crap, alright? It's not about the team!"

"It's not crap. Sam, please."

"Thanks for the pizza Parker." With that he grabbed his bag and left.

Peter sighed. So much for that. He didn't have the energy to chase after Sam. Cornering the other teen would only make it worse. After a few minutes he picked up his phone to text Danny.

Of course there were several texts from MJ and Harry.

[7:35pm] Peter: Can you talk to Sam?

He hit send and started cleaning up. The other texts could wait. How could he get Sam to open up? Why would he suddenly have so much self doubt? Nothing stood out to Peter. Sam was always confident in his abilities...or seemed like it. Was that why he rushed in, and showed off, so often?

With a groan he sat back on the couch and pulled his phone back out.

[7:36pm] Danny: Sure thing. Everything okay?

[7:36pm] Peter: not sure. Talk tomorrow.

Then came the task of reading MJ's texts from the last few hours. Joy.

[4:30pm] MJ: Peter.  
[4:35pm] MJ: If i am right...I'm not going to judge you or anything  
[5:15pm] MJ: talk  
[6:02pm] MJ: Let me help.

Peter flopped onto the couch and began to type a response. And retype. And retype again. Finally he settled on postponing it further.

[7:40pm] Peter: Talk tomorrow?

Defeat. Maybe talking to MJ would help him figure out how to get over Sam. Or at least ignore his feelings for the next few months. It was a long shot, but if he could convince her it was a bad idea to pursue Sam...maybe, just, maybe, he could enjoy the next few months with his friend.

[7:41] MJ: Tomorrow is a half day. I'm coming over after school. I'll need to stop home first, but then I'll be right over!

Oh, right. Friday was a half day. That usually meant copias amounts of S.H.I.E.L.D. training. Lately Fury and Coulson had eased up. He should thank Ava for that. Her 'How am I supposed to get into a good school if I fail high school?' and 'I need to study for the SATs!' rants  _definitely_  helped. That reminded him, they needed to have a team meeting. Knowing they were breaking up was different than acknowledging it out loud. Deep down, Peter knew going back to a solo act was going to be difficult.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Once again, the next chapter is almost done and should be up in a few days :)
> 
> I couldn't help throwing in a little Young Justice humor :P If you caught it : I love you, and we can cry over its loss together.


	3. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter...Like a full 1k shorter...I hated writing it and wanted to just get on with the action I have planned. This story is getting longer than originally planned, but...angst happened. 
> 
> Eventually I'll rewrite this chapter so it sucks less. 
> 
> Also, there won't be much fluff for a while. Going full angst, because Sam and Peter are idiots.

 

* * *

 

Half days were awesome. Before he became Spider-man he would spend those days hanging out with MJ and Harry. Often their shenanigans would continue well into Saturday, and sometimes into Sunday too. When he was solo, before joining the team, he was still able to spend most of those half days with them. The hero gig meant sometimes he would cancel last minute, but he still got plenty of time to spend with them. 

Then his free time was eaten by training and team building exercises. Tac on the extra missions, courtesy of S.H.I.E.L.D, and he had little time to just be Peter Parker. Not to say Peter was not grateful for the opportunities S.H.I.E.L.D. provided, but he was sooo looking forward to the afternoon.

 That morning he took care of the whole 'schedule a team meeting' thing. They agreed on Saturday at lunch...as long as Peter brought food. Eh, worth it. The cafeteria food on the tricarrier was somehow worse than was served at school. And he was fairly certain it was all the same anyway. 

Half days also meant no lunch period. So, he was able to go all day without seeing Sam. Not that he was purposely avoiding him...no, Peter just wanted some time to let the intensity from the previous night to die down.  

"Web brains." 

Well, almost all day. 

The school was just about empty. The bell had rang five minutes ago and everyone was eager to start their long weekend. Everyone but Peter. Because he signed up for the 'MJ interrogation special' and was so planning on taking the long way home.

 Sam was in front of him before he could blink. Fists  bunched up his shirt and pushed him backwards. Peter’s head connected painfully with the locker behind him.

 The scent of Sam’s aftershave wafted up to him, and he would have been excited. Except, he had never seen Sam so...enraged. He briefly wondered if that was what he looked like behind his helmet during a fight. Clearly, Sam had something he needed to get off his chest. Peter decided to play along and see where it went, he could easily overpower Sam if he needed to.

"Sam-"

He was pushed harder into the locker. "You had no right to do that! When I said I wanted you to back off, I meant it."

Ooookay. "What are you going on about bucket breath?" Name calling probably wasn't the best move, but hey -he was being shoved against a locker!

"Danny cornered me last night!"

Oh. "Oh." Peter sighed. "I'm sorry, Sam....I'm just worried about you." 

"You have no right to be." 

"We are friends Sam. And teammates. Of course -" 

"No, we're not. 

Peter blinked. "Last I checked, yeah, we are." 

Sam let go of his shirt and turned around. "No. We've known for a while the team was ending. Tomorrow is just a formality. You are all going to leave, go solo again" 

"Just because we may not be a formal team anymore doesn't mean we can't team up." He reached out and gently turned Sam to face him. "It doesn't mean we care any less." 

He felt a sudden pain on his jaw and stumbled back. Sam had punched him. It happened so fast his spidey sense didn't go off. Way to escalate, Sam. 

"No. I'm going to the meeting tomorrow because I owe it to the others. But after...after, I'm done. I don't want to be your teammate- your subordinate- and I certainly don't want to be your friend." 

"What the hell Sam?" Peter had to force himself to breathe as he rubbed his jaw. What was that hollow feeling he was getting? It started to spread over his whole body. He did not like it. 

"Danny and I talked for a while. You were right, he gives good advice. But because you were worried  he recommended me for a psych eval.  Because of you and your nosey fucking insect brain."

Arachnid. "That wasn't my intention! Sam!" 

Sam just glared at him and turned to walk away. Peter wasn't finished, and he sure wasn't letting Sam walk away. He grabbed Sam and pushed him into the locker. With his superior strength, he had no problem pinning Sam’s arms at his side.

The shorter teen looked anywhere but at Peter. For a few moments they stood there, Peter pinning Sam against the locker, neither speaking, and both trying to regain their composure. Peter forced himself to ignore their closeness, Sam's smell, and how easily he could just lean down and kiss Sam; he needed focus on not losing his friend. 

With a shaky breath Peter started to speak. "Sam, I am sorry I-" 

"Stop saying you're sorry!" Sam struggled against Peter’s grip.

A sudden blind range sunk into Peter and he pushed Sam harder into the locker. There was a small part of him that hoped it would leave a bruise. "Fine. I'm not sorry. You need to pull your head out of your ass and let your friends help you. If something is wrong, we are here for you- that's what friends do, Sam. They are-"

"Stop it. Let me go." Sam was no longer struggling against his grip, he was looking to his right, and if Peter wasn't so angry he may have heard the sadness and defeat in his voice.

Peter sighed. Fighting would get him nowhere. "Fine." He let go of Sam and took a small step back. How had he fucked up again? With a sigh he closed his eyes. He tried to do the calming breathing exercise Danny had taught him. But they were meant for anger, not a breaking heart. He opened his eyes after a few seconds, intent on trying one more time to calm Sam.

But he was too late. When he opened his eyes, the shorter teen was already running down the hallway. "Damnit."

What. The. Hell. His chest was aching more than his head. He knew Sam was angry, but that sounded a bit too final. Not friends? That was his luck, he lost Sam just when he realized he wanted him. But a psychological evaluation? What was Danny smoking last night? Maybe Sam had said something to make Danny worry as well?

He made a mental note to talk to Danny alone before the meeting and made his way home. A nice afternoon with MJ was just what he needed to forget about his Sam drama. There was plenty of leftover pizza from the previous night too. An evening of MJ, movies, and maybe some mini-golf. He hadn’t played mini-golf in forever.

MJ was waiting at his door when he got home. "Sorry MJ. Got held up."

They walked in and MJ crossed her arms and glared at Peter. As soon as the door closed she jumped him. Metaphorically jumped or course. For MJ words were a weapon, and she knew they could hurt more than a fist.

"So, was I right about Sam?"

Oh. Right. So much for an evening with MJ to forget about Sam. How could he begin to explain to her? What do? What do?

"Uhm...uh..." Eloquent. "Look MJ, it is not what you think?"

"Peter, I told you, I don't care if you're into a guy. It doesn't matter if you're gay, or bi, or whatever. But I thought we were friends Peter! How long have you been keeping this a secret? Don't you trust me to have your back?"

"MJ..." Crap.

"If you don't want to tell me, fine. I'll back off. But I am here for you, you know that right?"

Double crap, she looked like she was going to cry. She was his oldest, dearest friend. Confiding in her had always been so easy before becoming Spider-Man...

"Okay." Peter sucked in a breath, "I'm sorry. Where do you want me to start?"

All trace of tears were gone and MJ beamed up at him. Her acting skills had improved, and Dammit, he fell for it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shut you out." He pulled her close for a hug. It was always nice to hug MJ. But it didn't feel like home, like the way hugging Sam felt.

"Pizza? I'll reheat it and we can watch bad tv and catch up?"

Talking to MJ proved to be easier than he expected. And he really should have expected easy. She was understanding and patient; the complete opposite of Sam.

He stared at the beginning, whitewashing the hero parts, of course. From when he first met Sam and hated his guts. To having to work with him on "school projects", and realising he wasn't sooo bad. The first time he feared losing Sam, when he had decided to move back "home" and Peter was devastated. How, at the time he thought it just meant he cared a lot for his friend. Then he showed up the next day and Peter was relieved and also wanted to punch him. After that they started hanging out more outside of school, and Peter could admit he missed it now.

He told her about the first time he was aware of Sam, like 'aware' aware. It was during gym class at school and Sam was climbing the rope. And suddenly Peter was staring, appreciating the tone of his arms and the ease and grace he displayed. He told her of the sleepless nights he had while he wondered just what it meant.

He told her how Sam had "gotten in a street fight" and Peter yelled at him for being an idiot. And they hadn't spoken in a long while. And he told her how it was Sam’s fault he "dropped his phone down a drain", resulting in his injured wrist. He finished telling her the events of the previous night and was debating telling her what just happened. The argument with Sam after school was still fresh; he hadn’t had time to process, let alone prepare a 'white lie' about it.

"So, I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was real or what. And then last night, when I hugged him...I realized I...am...am so hopelessly lost in him."

"Aww, Pete!" MJ nudged him. She listened to his whole story without interruption, and he could sense the questions waiting to pour out of her.  "So, you have no idea if he reciprocates?"

"It's....doubtful. Actually...today, after school, we had another argument. I was worried about his recent behavior - how distant he has been - and told him that last night. He didn't take it well and left in the middle of our game. I asked Danny to talk to him, I had hoped he would be able to figure out what was bothering Sam..."

Peter sighed and threw his head back against the couch. "And this afternoon, he yelled at me, like pushed me against a locker and everything, I have never seen him look at me with...with such disgust." He palmed his eyes, talking about it made it even more real. "He was angry I talked to Danny - insisted I overstepped some boundary. He...Sam...said he didn't want to be my friend anymore."

He looked over to MJ. "So, no, I doubt he feels the same about me."

"Pete..." MJ wrapped an arm around Peter and thought for a few moments. "Maybe having the weekend to cool off will do you both some good?"

They sat together on the couch, reruns of some show playing on the tv. MJ hummed and pulled out her phone. "So," she said while she typed, "Harry had a great idea yesterday." Peter groaned, he hated when Harry had an idea. "Some of our friends already 18, and some of us -like me- will be soon. Harry thought it would be a nice excuse to throw a party."

Her phone buzzed, "Yea, Harry is still up for it."

Thank you change of topic! "Like, a giant 18th birthday party for everyone? Hmm."

"Yea, he was talking about how we should have one giant graduation party in a few months, and he was bummed we would have to wait so long to throw it. Would you be game if we do?"

"Yea, sure. Just don't try to set me up with anyone?"

"That waaaaas what I was planning on  doing when we talked about it last night. But, now I know the deal...I still ought to." She gave him a cheeky smile. "But, it would be a great opportunity to, oh... I don't know, dance with Sam?"

Peter nodded, "That is a great idea, I totally bet he won't  punch me."

"Peter -"

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure." She gave him a sad smile and began telling him about a piece she was working on for the Bugle. Peter nodded along to her story, although he found it on the boring side. Apparently there was a possible shopping center being built where some abandoned  buildings currently were. She was covering the effects the project was going to have on the surrounding area. After the bidding war on the property, which she wrote about previously, the local residents started to complain about their property values. Like, how would a shopping center be worse than an abandoned building?

"But, then, I kept getting residents telling me stories about weird sounds and lights coming from the site. They have been pretty consistent stories, so I don't think they're making it up. I'm going to go poke around this weekend and find out what's what. My piece is due on Sunday, but if I have more to go on, I may be able to get an extension to write more articles about it."

Excitement radiated off of her. She was always able to sniff out a good story. But, that also usually meant trouble. "Going into an abandoned building? MJ, that could be dangerous...shouldn't you take someone with you? Or, not go at all?"

She chucked, "You always worry too much. I'm just going to stake it out. Pinky promise I won't go inside."

Yea, like he believed that. He made a mental note that spider-man should patrol that part of the city tomorrow night.

The rest of the night was filled with movies MJ declared Peter insane for not seeing already. Occasionally Harry would text MJ about the party plans. Peter tried to pay attention to the movie plots.  Images of Sam kept distracting him, he played over several scenarios for talking to the other teen. What if he flubbed up worse?  

Sometime during a movie about talking goat - really? - MJ got another text from Harry. "The party will be next Saturday." Not much notice, but, hey, most high school seniors didn't have a hero side-gig. "I'll make the invites with Harry tomorrow morning and we'll get them out Monday at school!"

Even after MJ left, around 1am, he still could not focus or sleep. Declaring that he was not tired, he put on his costume and headed out for patrol.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
>    
> Would anyone be interested in Sam's POV? I'm thinking about writing his side once I finish the whole thing.


	4. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> URGH. These two are idiots!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the first chapter a bit and fixed some silly mistakes. I do like 98% of my writing on my phone, so please let me know if there are any formatting issues. I do at least one read through and edit on my desktop before I post...but I'm a silly butt and miss a lot. 
> 
> Also: Why does AO3 like to add double spaces?

* * *

 

Patrol turned out to be a dud. He had circled the areas most prone to baddies, but Spider-Man had not seen so much as a mugging. And Peter desperately needed something - someone - to punch.

Spending too much time alone, outside, gave him too much time to think. And thinking was definitely not his plan. No, he wanted to fight someone and forget how to think for a while. When fighting it was instinct and training, occasionally some strategizing. But never full out thinking.

The lack of villains and goons -yes, he would have settled for a  goon- gave his mind time to wander. As he replayed events of the last week he couldn't figure out what he felt. At first, as he thought about his encounter with Sam, he was numb. He jumped from emotion to emotion, drowning in each one, and wishing desperately he could remain numb.

The more he thought, the more he analyzed. Would they really no longer hang out? Had he lost any chance of holding Sam again? A feeling of ice washed over him as he landed on a rooftop. Deep, crippling sadness.

Peter would have given anything to have Sam listen to him, to let him explain that he only cared about his well being, and that his actions held no malice. But Sam had not let him explain. And Peter felt his grief ebb away and turn into something dark, and wild. Did Sam care so little for their friendship that he would throw it away? Toss it aside like it was stale pizza?

Muscle memory led him through the city. The patrol route he took was one of the longer ones. He needed to punch something, the rage boiling inside filled him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement two roofs over. He web-slinged over, ready to end whatever evil lurked in his city.

There was a flash of green to his right, and to his disappointment it was not a goon. It was Iron Fist. It was his night to patrol. His rage whispered to him that it was Danny’s fault Sam was leaving. Sam...Sam was leaving, and Peter would never see him again. "Aurgh!"

The punch he threw was easily dodged. Iron Fist was never caught off guard. So Peter tried to Web him, which Iron Fist was again able to easily dodge.

Iron Fist found high ground and called down, "What has gotten into you?"

Spiderman ignored his question and pressed his attack.

They fought for a while, Peter pushing the attack while Danny deflected. He was finally able to trip the blonde with some webbing.

"Argh, what is your deal? You're not even supposed to be on patrol tonight."

"I needed to hit something. There were no baddies out, so I'll just settle for you."

Danny flipped off the ground and quickly had Peter in a headlock. "Why don't you try talking instead of letting your emotions control you."

Peter sagged, "You're right..." he sighed when Danny let him go. "I just...Sam..."

"This is about Sam?" Danny frowned, clearly not understanding.

Peter sat down against the ledge and Danny joined him. He detailed the events from the previous afternoon and carefully watched for Danny’s reaction.

Once he finished Danny nodded. "Yes, we spoke, but I will not betray Sam’s confidence. I will say, he said something that had me worried. I spoke to Coulson on the matter. Like you, I am worried for our friend. My understanding was we will all be receiving psychological evaluations before Shield officially dissolves the team. Sam was not singled out."

That made sense. Shield would want to make sure they could handle civilian life, or solo life. Maybe they would offer to form a new team with those who were staying? At least talking to Danny was something he could cross off his to do list for tomorrow....er today. It was nearing 3am by his estimate.

"I will attempt to talk to Sam." Danny stood up, "Best be getting home. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Peter stood up as well and nodded.

Before jumping to the next roof Danny stopped and turned back to Peter, "Do not let your anger and hurt turn to actions. Sometimes the path is winding and long, but the destination is well worth the journey."

Great, more fortune cookie nonsense. Or, maybe he was just too tired to read into it. After Iron Fist left he returned home. Sleep would be welcome after such a long day, but he found it to be elusive. Every time he closed his eyes Sam was in front of him, glaring at him, pushing him away.

Whenever he opened his eyes they found their way to his desk across the room. The moonlight perfectly illuminated the pile of papers sitting there. He knew he needed to make a decision about college soon, but ignoring the acceptance letters meant he could pretend, for just a little longer, that nothing was changing.

 

 

* * *

 

He didn't remember falling asleep. The sun forced its way into his dreams and he found himself pulled from a warm embrace and back into the cold March morning. The clock on his desk confirmed it was nearly 11:30 and he had just enough time to be only slightly late for the team meeting.

Peter opted to just pick up subs for the meeting. Way faster than waiting on a pizza, and he doubted he could stomach pizza for a third  day in a row. Oh, crap, he was starting to think like an adult. Pizza for dinner it would have to be, there was no way Peter Parker was going to admit he was growing up.

Adulthood would have to take him kicking a screaming.

When he arrived to the tricarrier he found the team already in the meeting room. And so was Fury and Coulson.

"No one invited you two."

"Didn't know I needed an invitation on my own ship."

Fair enough. Peter sat the food on the table and took a seat next to Luke. There was a seat open next to Sam, but Peter did not trust himself. From his seat, Peter could see Sam out of the corner of his eye, but forced himself to ignore him.

They all dug into the food, and Fury directed the meeting. Just as Peter suspected, Fury gave them the option to stay on after graduation. If they chose to go to college in New York, they could go solo or be placed on another team. There were plenty of upstart teens that would benefit from their experience.

Coulson gave them the rundown on how shield would handle them if they chose to study in a different city, and still wish to keep the hero gig up.

It all seemed reasonable to Peter, and it didn't make his choice any easier.

When Coulson finished summarizing what shield would and would not approve of from their affiliated solo acts, Fury cut back in. "As part of the transition, you will all have an official debriefing and psychological evaluation. Some of you have already been notified of your sessions, and the rest of you will get your assignments soon."

Feeling smug, Peter snuck a glance and Sam. See, it was totally not his fault! Sam’s eyes briefly flickered to him, but he looked away just as quickly. Peter decided he would just wait for Sam to apologize for jumping him yesterday. If he was honest with himself, he was still upset that Sam would throw their friendship away. Feelings or no, Peter enjoyed Sam’s company. But, could he bring himself to forgive Sam? He did throw away their friendship over nothing.

"Now that you know your options through shield, I'd like to hear your thoughts about moving forward."

Predictably, Luke was planning on staying in New York with his parents. He was already involved with some younger heroes and the transition for him would be easy.

Ava and Danny were still deciding between New York and Penn State. The second option would give Ava more time to study, New York just had too many distractions of the villain variety.

And Sam was too quiet.

Fury prodded him for an answer.

"I'm still weighing my options too, " was Sam's vague answer. What options? He had told Peter he wasn't going to college. What options did he have? Unless...was he going to join back with the Guardians of the Galaxy? 

Peter’s was equally as vague. He wanted to talk to Aunt May before making a decision, she always gave great advice. 

He stole another glance at Sam and caught him staring. Of course, Sam pretended he wasn't and quickly looked away. Peter grinned to himself and wondered when Sam would apologize.

After the meeting they went their separate ways. Sam was the first out the door, guess Peter was going to be waiting a while for that apology. Which was for the best. He didn't trust himself to accept an apology from Sam unless the other teen volunteered his head as a punching bag.

* * *

 

He killed a few hours at home doing homework before it was time for Spider-man to go check on MJ.

Secretly, he hoped it was nothing but some hobos camping out, but deep down he knew that was never his luck. The city had been far too quiet the last few days. The area wasn't hard to find and he perched on a roof across from the abandoned buildings. Only 30 minutes later and MJ was there, below, and unaware of his presence. She set up in the alley next to his building and started watching the building site. He wondered how long she would stay...Probably all night of it meant a great story.

"Hey"

Holy crap! He jumped at the intrusion behind him, ready for a fight.

Oh, it was Nova. How did he find him? He motioned for him to keep quiet, which he knew was asking too much from Sam.

He glanced down at MJ to make sure she was still safe and walked to where Nova stood on the middle of the roof. In as quiet  a voice as he could muster and still sound angry he addressed  Nova. "What, bucket head? I'm busy." He crossed his arms for added emphasis.

"I-uh-if now is not a good time..."

Why was Nova always choosing the wrong time and place? He didn't have time for it, MJ could be putting herself in danger!

"No, it is not." He turned and went back to the ledge where he could keep an eye on MJ. And, crap, she was gone. Damnit, Nova!

He grit his teeth and surveyed the area for a sign of her. There, he spotted her walking towards the smaller of the buildings on the site.

He quickly jumped down into the alley, and moved to intercept her. Then Nova landed next to him. Why did he always hover so he was just taller than Peter? He grit his teeth again and ignored the glow stick, intent on stopping  MJ from doing anything stupid.

Nova followed.

Peter placed himself between MJ and the building. "I am sorry, miss. This is an active...uh...operation. You need to step away."

"Oh, so there is something going on! I knew I  was on the right track! Yes! You are not stopping me! I need my story, Spiderman."

Before he could tell her what he thought about her putting herself in harm's way, Nova spoke up. "What if we take your camera with us?" Great, the one time Sam chooses to be perspective.

"Yes! That would be rad!"

And that was how Peter ended up spending his Saturday night wandering through abandoned buildings with his 'not friend' and definite crush.

The first two buildings had a few homeless people camped out, and they let them stay. The property owners could take care of moving them, but for now they could have a roof over their head. Even if it was infested with rats.

By some miracle, Nova was quiet except for a few "all clears". He kept glancing at Peter, and it was unnerving. Why couldn't Sam just get the hint and leave?

They were careful to not say anything to expose themselves on the tape. MJ could probably take some small detail and figure out exactly who they were.

But soon Nova lost his patience and tried to hold a conversation. It ended up being mostly one sided, which Peter suspected MJ would find hilarious if she knew who they really were.

"So...can we talk once we're done here?"

Peter grunted. "Stay on task"

"Look, about yesterday...."

"Keep focused, Nova."

"Do you wanna grab some pizza after?"

"What is that light up there?"

"Come on, webs, I'm trying."

Peter did not want to deal with it now, especially not on camera. Preferably, they would just not talk about it. Ever. He would like to pretend it didn't happen, that Nova never said he didn't want to be friends, but it did happen. And Peter needed time. He didn't trust himself to do exactly what Danny told him to _avoid_. His emotions were still too raw, the wound was still too fresh.

The last building was empty as well. No evil lair. _Bummer_ , Peter still wanted to hit someone.

Maybe he could hit Nova? No, not on camera.

They returned the camera to MJ, who was sorely disappointed in the lack of story. Peter lingered on the roof across the street until he was sure she wasn't coming back.

And Nova waited with him.

And he chose to ignore him.

Once he returned home, Peter realized Sam had followed him. If he wasn't still angry, and sad, and numb...Peter would have thought the lost dog following him home trick was adorable. But it just irritated him more.

He pretended he didn't notice Sam was right behind him and slammed the door in his face.

He slumped against the wall and let out a shaky breath. They needed to talk. Clearly, Sam wanted to do it now, if the knocking at the door was any indication. But he didn't trust himself at that moment. He felt too many conflicting emotions.

Sam knocked again. "Peter? Please talk to me?" His voice lacked its usual bravado.

Peter grit his teeth and opened the door. "Now I get a choice of talking to you? You're not going to just shove me and yell?"

Sam flinched. He shuffled his foot on the door mat. "Look, Peter..."

"No."

Sam blinked at him. "Wha-?"

Peter felt ice course through him, numbing him. "You don't get to just, just, toss me aside then show up at my house." The numbness was good. It kept him from flinching as he continued. "I didn't realize how little our friendship meant to you until yesterday. So, no, I don't want to talk to you."

Sam stared up at him and he once again found himself wanting to simply lean down and close the distance between them.

But then Sam started to get blurry. A soft hand reached up and touched his face, and Peter realized Sam was wiping away a tear from his eye. The ice left his veins and with it went the numbness, and all that was left was the hollow emptiness. Why was Sam's hand so soft? And crap, he was crying in front of Sam.

He slapped Sam’s hand away and retreated back into the house. This time Sam didn't knock when he closed the door on him.

Peter slumped against the door and stayed there until he heard Sam leave, 30 minutes later.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> The next chapter is done, I just need to edit it a bit. Working on writing chapter 6 now. I should have the 5th up by the weekend :3


	5. It's been...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the reviews and kudos! You guys rock!
> 
> I have not had much time to write this week, so the next chapter will be a while. I have barely a paragraph of chapter 6 done. I'm not sure when I'll get time to write...I have like a 60+ hour work week next week since my manager is taking vacation. Go me. I hope to have it up by next Saturday. 
> 
> I had "One Week" by the Bare Naked Ladies stuck in my head while I wrote this chapter.

 

* * *

 

After his...encounter with Sam Saturday night Peter couldn’t concentrate. He had unfinished school assignments in his backpack he knew needed completed. But he could not bring himself to even look at them. He dragged himself up the stairs and into his bed, but sleep would not come. There was a driving need to talk about what had just transpired between him and Sam...and who better than MJ? She was the only one who really knew everything, minus the hero stuff, about his ‘situation’ with Sam. As much as he trusted Danny, he did prefer to talk to MJ. Maybe it was because she didn’t know about the ‘hero stuff’. Her advice wasn’t tainted with suggestions about keeping the team well oiled.

 

[11:34PM] Peter: How was your interview with the abandoned building?  
[11:35PM] MJ: O-M-G! I have a story for you! I have to tell you in person!

Peter didn't have the fortitude to chuckle at her excitement. But he was a little confused, her story about the buildings had been a bust. Why was she so happy? She had 'met' Spider-man several times over the years, she rarely bothered telling Peter about it anymore. Had something happened after he left?

[11:35PM] Peter: Cant wait to hear it.  
[11:35PM] Peter: so, Sam came over to apologize...  
[11:36PM] MJ: aw, he missed you! :P

[11:38PM] Peter: I slammed the door in his face  
[11:38PM] MJ: Peter! You idiot!!!!!!!  
[11:38PM] MJ: I thought you liked him!  
[11:39PM] MJ: You're never going to get anywhere like this!

[11:45PM] Peter: I don't think I want to ‘get anywhere’  
[11:45PM] MJ: You're just afraid of taking that step  
[11:45PM] MJ: You'll regret it if you don't tell him  
[11:47PM] MJ: ...at least let the poor guy apologize  
[11:48PM] Peter: He threw away our friendship!  
[11:48PM] Peter: He made it clear how little I mean to him...  
[11:49PM] Peter: I couldn't handle that happening again  
[11:50PM] MJ: Let him apologize!!  
[11:50PM] MJ: ...then decide if you would rather keep wallowing in your self pity.

[11:52PM] MJ: Pete, this is the only guy, only person, you've liked. Are you really going to throw it away?

He lacked the energy to respond to her last text Saturday night. Once again, he found himself staring at his ceiling while thoughts of Sam swam across his mind. Was MJ right? Was he _wallowing_? Peter Parker did not _wallow_. He tackled things head on. So, why was this time different? He blamed it on his inexperience in the whole ‘my heart wants what it wants’ department.

Sunday didn't exist for Peter. Or, rather, he tried desperately to pretend it didn't. The little sleep he did manage was plagued with nightmares he didn't remember when he woke up. He wanted nothing more than to bury his head back under the covers and never come out.

The conversation he didn’t have with Sam plagued him. What was Sam going to say? What should he have said instead of what he did? How was he going to face Sam at school on Monday? Let alone if the team was called in for a mission…

He woke up Sunday to multiple texts from MJ asking him to hang out, but he couldn't bring himself to leave his bed. At some point he did drag himself out to take a shower and eat. By some miracle some of his school work was completed. While he typed his English paper he dazed off multiple times and ended with a bare minimum paper that he was sure would bring his GPA down. It was better than turning in nothing.

When Aunt May returned late Sunday night he was already in bed asleep.

Monday morning he forced himself to get up, dressed, and he even managed two whole bites of toast.

On his way out the door Aunt May commented that he looked unwell. At least his outside reflected his inside.

"Are you sure you're alright, dear?"

"I'm fine." He paused, "We'll catch up after school? You'll have to tell me all about your trip!" He wasn't so far into his own teen drama to forget to spend time with his Aunt. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

She laughed and pushed him out the door.

The walk to school was over too quickly. How was he going to face Sam? He had cried in front of him! That was a weakness he was sure to exploit, and he certainly didn't need to give him more ammo. What if he had already told the others? How would they take him seriously?

But,would Sam actually do that? They were past that, they had been for a while. Peter wasn't sure where they stood at that exact moment, but hadn’t they became friends? Oh, right, Sam severed that. He had seemed like he wanted to apologize before Peter’s tear ducts betrayed him.

Oh, school was going to suck.

As he walked into his first class Monday he briefly wondered if he could convince Aunt May that he was sick and call out for the rest of the week. Actually, he thought about it more than briefly, and devised a plan to do just that. Hey, she already thought he didn't look well.

His morning classes past in a blur. By lunch MJ and Harry had handed out party invitations to more than half of the school. The halls were buzzing with excitement; it had been far too long since Harry threw a party.

He surveyed the cafeteria looking for MJ. And....He found her sitting right across from Sam. That traitor! She knew what happened Saturday night, why would she try to force them to interact? He suddenly wasn't hungry and ditched his lunch tray.

Peter almost made it out of the cafeteria when Harry grabbed him -okay, threw an arm around his shoulders- and forced him to set next to MJ while he sat on her other side. Leave it to Harry to be oblivious. Or maybe MJ put him up to it? Actually, he wasn't even sure if Harry knew about his ‘Sam problem’. He would have to check with MJ later.

The rest of the team quickly filled in around them. Since he was stuck there for the rest of lunch, he decided he may as well study for his AP calculus test. Studying was always a good way to block out Sam. While he looked over his notes he could feel Sam's gaze, but refused to look up.

Yep, he was _sooo_ calling out of school for a few days.

He was only half paying attention to the conversations around him. When the subject switched to the party Harry was throwing he tuned in.

"So, are you guys able to come this weekend?" MJ nudged Peter with her knee. What did she want him to do? He was soo not asking Sam to be his date. They weren't even speaking to each other. Or, rather, Peter didn't know if he could handle talking to Sam. But it still translated to not talking and awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

Everyone took turns saying that, yes, they were going. Sam was the last to speak up and Peter hoped he was going to say that he didn't want to go. Peter promised MJ and Harry he would go; and he was going to keep that promise, Sam drama or not.

"Yea, I'll stop by for a bit. But um," he heard Sam shuffle, "is...is okay if I bring a date that doesn't go to our school?"

What? Did he hear that right? Sam, had a date? Well, that had just solidified how craptastic his life was. He finally liked someone, they got into multiple fights, stopped talking, and then he found someone else.

Peter stared at the same spot on his notes. Sam...had a date? He could feel Danny glance his way and looked up. The blonde gave him an apologetic look and shook his head.

The ever oblivious Harry assured Sam, "Yes, the more the merrier!"

He could feel MJ stiffen next to him. She asked, "So, who is the mystery person?"

He didn't want to hear it. Peter stood abruptly and put his notes away. "Hey, I need to run to the library, I forgot to print something...for a class."

He was out of the cafeteria before anyone responded.

MJ found him a few minutes later behind the back stairs staring at the wall. He was not hiding. He just liked those stairs!

"Peter?"

"I'll....I'll be fine." He ran his hand over his head. "Leave it to me to finally fall for someone who isn't available."

MJ snorted. "It's your own damn fault for not telling him how you feel sooner. And you never know, maybe his date will be a bitch and Sam will be..."

"Sure, but even if she is a bitch...she's still a she."

"All he said was it was an old flame from before he moved to New York. People change, maybe he is just being nice?" MJ gave Peter a hug and assured him that everything would be okay.

The rest of the day was more of a haze than the morning. On his way home he had to stop a few times because there was a weight crushing his chest.

It was easy enough to convince Aunt May that he was sick. His skin was pale and his eyes refused to focus.

She insisted he stay home Tuesday. And again on Wednesday- after he hammed it up a bit. He spent the two days playing games -which only made him miss Sam more- and drowning in self pity.

His friend's concern made him feel even worse. MJ and Harry were the first to text him Tuesday morning.

[8:02am] MJ: Are you okay?  
[8:02am] Peter: Not feeling well.  
[8:02am] MJ: hope u feel better!

[8:12am] Harry: k?  
[8:13am] Peter: yea, just a bug :)

Aunt May came to check on him around 9am. She fussed over his covers, tucking him in like he was five years old.

“Now, be careful. Don’t do anything that will aggravate your stomach. There is yogurt in the fridge, and I made some homemade soup. You’ll just need to reheat it.” She gave him a kiss on his temple. “I’ll be home for dinner. You rest up.”

Since he didn’t have classes with any of his teammates that semester it took them a bit longer to realize he wasn’t at school. MJ must have filled them in at lunch because he received a sudden rush of texts.

[12:01pm] Ava: wtf? I know you're not sick.  
[12:02pm] Peter: need some personal time

[12:01pm] Danny: I am here if you would like to talk  
[12:03pm] Peter: thanks

[12:02pm] Luke: pish, feel better dude  
[12:03pm] Peter: :)

[12:02pm] Sam: hey  
[12:04pm] Sam: stop ignoring me, plz?  
[12:05pm] Sam: i want to talk in person  
[12:10pm] Sam: stop ignoring me

Ignoring Sam was his best plan ever. He was so convinced ignoring Sam was a grand master plan that he gave himself a fake fever so Aunt May would insist he stay home Wednesday as well. If he didn’t see Sam, he could convince himself he didn’t have feelings for him. He could convince himself he was not drowning at just the _thought_ of seeing Sam with someone else.

He was at the same level he and Sam ended at the previous week when his phone buzzed.

[2:02pm] Sam: u ok? Thats 2 days in a row

  
Did that level summon Sam? He read the text and threw his phone to the side. Plan ‘Ignoring Sam’ did not allow for any contact. That was rule 1. Rule 2 was don’t think about Sam. He failed at rule 2 at least twice a minute.

He choose a different game, one they had never played together and settled back in. It was just over an hour later when his phone buzzed again.

[3:12pm] Sam: im coming over

Well, Peter could ignore the other texts...but he didn't want him to come over. Then he would have to explain to Aunt May why he threw Sam in a ditch outside. Time to break rule 1 of his master plan.

[3:13pm] Sam: be there in 5  
[3:13pm] Peter: I'm not home.  
[3:13pm] Sam: where r u

What would be a good lie? Ah!

[3:14pm] Peter: touring a campus

Sam didn't text him back after that.

 

* * *

 

 

On Thursday he fessed up that he needed another day to put his head in the sand. Aunt May called off work and they talked all day, something they hadn't done in far too long. He told her how stressed he was over picking a college, how he wanted a change, but also didn't want to leave his friends. He told her how worried he was about affording college, how his top pick was triple the cost of some other choices.

He told her about the full scholarship to Columbia, right in New York. And how he was afraid to take it because it meant he would be _staying_ in New York. He told her he didn't want to leave her, or his friends, but felt like he needed to be his own person.

Then he told her about Sam. He started at the beginning, as he had with MJ. When he was done catching her up he slumped down further in the couch.

Aunt May gave him a sweet smile. “You know, I always suspected something may be between the two of you.”

Peter shook his head. “Danny said something like that too. What gave me away?”

“Oh, it wasn’t you dear. It was Sam. He always had this...look...when you would come home. Like he was able to relax since you were safely home.” She laughed at his expression of disbelief. “There were other things too, like the way you two would bicker, but ten seconds later be playing a game like the best of friends.”

“That...doesn’t mean much, Aunt May. Hindsight and all that…” He didn’t want false hope that Sam may return his feelings.

“Oh, you. Didn’t you ever notice how he would give you the best plate at dinner? The perfect steak, the largest chicken breast, the prettiest salmon fillet. And he let you pick dinner the most.”

“Yea, yea. And he also made Danny special vegan meals. Doesn’t mean he likes Danny too.” Peter didn’t think he could handle this hope. It was vague, and he had no way of knowing if Aunt May really saw those things, or if she just _thought_ she did.

“Perhaps. But you never saw the way he looked at you while you played games together. Like a poor little school boy with a crush; and he didn’t know what those feelings were, or how to act on them.” She flicked his nose. “And you, mister. You- ha! You got this dopey smile whenever Sam was around. At first, I’ll admit, I thought it was for Ava. But then it happened when she wasn’t around...and Peter, you’ll get through this.” May gave him a hug and assured him that everything would be fine.

“First loves are hard, dear. You have to learn the hard way. But, hearts are meant to mend. If it doesn't work out with Sam, you will find someone else. Anyone would be lucky to have you, Peter."

She was the best. And he realized how silly he was being. Of course, he would be fine going to a school across county. But his family and friends would help him be great.

That afternoon he sent his confirmation to Columbia. He was staying in New York!

 

* * *

 

 

Friday came too soon. Aunt May convinced him to face his friends -and Sam- at school. Maybe convinced was the wrong word; she threatened she wouldn't let him go to the party otherwise. He would have not gone to it at all, but he did promise MJ. If things got too weird with Sam he could always just leave early.

He arrived at school early Friday. MJ and Harry had bought the whole being sick thing. But his team did not. Peter Parker AKA Spider-Man did not get sick.

Ava confronted him before his first class. "What the hell? Where have you been?"

He had practiced this. It wasn’t a complete lie, and he had told Sam the same thing. “Aunt May and I went over school choices and I toured a few campuses. I put off making a decision for far too long..."

The bell saved him from making up anymore lies.

MJ was waiting for him outside the cafeteria before lunch. She gave him a small smile, "Glad you're feeling better."

“Yea, being sick sucks.” He was actually feeling better, talking to Aunt May helped with the whole weight on the shoulders thing.

She led him over to a table in the corner and they ate in mostly silence. Actually, the whole cafeteria was pretty quiet. Or maybe he was just tuning out everything. Either way, he was thankful she picked a table far from where ever Sam was sitting.

Eventually she broke the silence he enjoyed so much, "Are you going to be okay tomorrow?"

"I think so. I mean, it is for the best. Best to find out now that Sam isn't gay and is in love with someone else so I can stop pining over him...but yea, the loss of that hope kinda stings."

She squeezed his hand. "You're great Peter. You will find someone who deserves you."

But he wanted Sam.  
He wanted to hold Sam.

“Hey, MJ...did you tell Harry about...you know?”

“No. I didn’t know if you would be okay with me sharing that. But I think you should tell him. Preferably, before the party.” She gave him a look which Peter interpreted to mean ‘I know you are going to cause a scene tomorrow.’ She had so much faith in him.

They were on their way out of the cafeteria when they ran into Sam. Or, rather, Sam was waiting at the doors for Peter.

"Hey, Peter, do you have a moment before class?" Sam gave Peter a sad smile, and damn Peter missed him.

But he quickly remembered he was mad at the shorter teen. And his heart was constricting at the thought of being near him but not being able to have him. It would hurt less to see him with someone else if they weren't talking. Then Sam wouldn't feel obligated to introduce Peter to his date. Yea, it would be easier that way. Plus, he had to keep to his master plan of ‘ignore Sam’.

"Yea, I have a moment.” He paused and looked at MJ. “For my friends." And he pulled MJ around a stunned Sam, and out of the cafeteria.

He pulled her along the halls until they were out of Sam’s sight.

"What the hell Peter?"

Peter shook his head. "I can't, MJ."

"Peter, he was trying to apologize for last Friday! Again! You can't keep treating him like this..."

Peter shook his head. "My heart can't take it MJ. He will get over it."

"Pete, you didn't see his face when you were walking away. He looked so....lost."

The bell saved Peter again, and he made his way to class. But he couldn't stop thinking about what MJ said...maybe he should just let it go, let Sam apologize, go back to being friends and pretending he was okay with just that. But, if they had another fallout like this...was it worth the risk? He couldn't take just being friends with Sam, and now he couldn't even confess his feelings without looking like the biggest, most jealous idiot ever.

He had a lot of work to catch up on since he was out for three days. It was a welcome distraction. Forcing himself to concentrate on not failing another assignment was good. It helped him focus his energy into something positive. Worrying about Sam was pointless. Even if Peter was going to be staying in New York, he had no way of knowing if Sam was too.

His S.H.I.E.L.D. communicator buzzed and Coulson’s face lit up his room. “Your Evaluation session will be this Sunday at 11am. It should last about an hour.”

Great. Fantastic.

He hoped there was alcohol at Harry’s party.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The next chapter will be a while.
> 
> I did write a fluff piece I'll be posting later today...I needed a break from the angst.


	6. Party part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading! And a huge thank you to everyone who has Reviewed/Favorited/Followed this fic!
> 
> This was a difficult chapter to write. I did not intend for this fic to take any turn in this direction, but it did….There are so many things I want to happen, but I couldn't decide the best order. There is a lot- I mean a LOT- going on with Sam that I need to hint at. I'll be revealing more as the fic continues, plus doing a Sam's side fic (which will be more action, less romance).
> 
> I rewrote this chapter several times trying to iron it out. It's slower than I originally planned because these damn characters wanted to talk too much, and then -whoopies- one chapter turned into almost three!
> 
> This chapter is a little slow- it is mostly build up. I promise it will be well worth it :) I'm going to polish up the next chapter for next Saturday/Sunday.

 

* * *

 

Peter hated parties. Not that he  _never_  had fun at them, but he would rather spend better quality time with his close friends instead of competing for their attention. The worst was when random people who he barely knew, or had never even met, tried to get him to dance. That was why Peter was always  _fashionably_  late to Harry's parties. Peter planned on the  _18th_  b-day bonanza going to go down like every party Peter had ever been to: Show up 10 to 20 minutes late, mingle briefly, eat some food, then leave while everyone else was too busy dancing to realize he was gone.

But MJ had other ideas. She called him before 10am, while he was still lounging in bed, trying to drown out his teenage angst.

"So, what are you wearing tonight?"

Really? MJ called to ask about his wardrobe choice for what was going to surely be the worst, most embarrassing, teen angst filled, party he would ever go to? She even had the nerve to sound chipper. Chipper!

He settled his phone between his ear and shoulder and wandered downstairs to make a bowl of cereal.

"I had not thought that far ahead, MJ. Why does it matter?"

"Because Sam will be there!" There was an implied 'duh' hanging in the air.

Not this again. He rolled his eyes at the milk jug and closed the refrigerator. "MJ, he has a date. It doesn't matter what I wear. _He's off limits_." And that was just the reality he was going to need to face.

"Yea, well, with  _that_  attitude! Speaking of attitude...you need to talk to him. He called me last night asking if I knew what was bothering you..."

"Urgh. What did you tell him?"

"I said you wouldn't tell me what was bothering you. Which is  _true_ , you're acting like an ass and won't tell me the real reason." She paused and he could hear her shuffling something around on the other end of the line. "So, you  _are_  going to show up to the party tonight. You  _are_  going to dress nice. And you  _are_  going to to try to have fun. And you  _are_  going to be nice to Sam and his date."

Peter huffed into his phone.

"Look, please just try to have fun. So, what are you going to wear?"

"Why do you care so much? Wait, are you going to try to set me up with someone?"

"...No?"

"MARY JANE WATSON!" He slammed his bowl on the table. "I don't want to be 'set up'."

"I won't force it! I just want to introduce you to a friend….it's up to you if anything  _happens_."

He did not like they way she said 'happens'. "What do you mean by 'friend'? I know everyone at school."

"There's going to be a few people from other schools there tonight. I invited some of the other interns from the Bugle, and then they invited some people...so there will be plenty of fresh faces!"

Well, that would make spotting Sam's date a little difficult. He was counting on just avoiding anyone he didn't know. "Okay, well, tell me about her then. I don't want to be blindsided at the party."

He could picture MJ biting her lip as she said, "Well, his name is Casper."

His? "You're setting me up with a guy?" It made sense, since his first  _ever_  crush was on a guy.

"I'm not setting you up! I'm introducing you. There is a difference. Besides, Casper is super gay, like flamboyant, cliche type. Not exactly the same type as Sam, I know, but give him a chance? I mentioned at work that I had a friend struggling with his sexuality and-"

"MJ!"

"I didn't give your name, Peter! But he said he would be willing to, you know,  _help_."

" _Help_?"

"Yea...like you know. Experiment. He's not dating anyone and said he would be fine hanging out with you, and you know, if you wanted to kiss and stuff…"

Peter let out an exasperated sigh. "MJ…"

"Just think about it. He's cute, blonde, he'll probably be wearing skinny jeans and a tight shirt. I'll be introducing him to a lot of my friends, so he won't know who you are. If you're interested just say something like, 'hey, I'm MJs friend with that uh...' on second thought, just go up and kiss him." She paused. "Or just let me know before the party and I'll introduce you as 'my friend I told you about'..."

Her fast pace rambling was giving him a headache.

"...And I also have a friend named Gwen who is coming too. Also single. So, you could try with both, see if you're gay, bi, straight..."

Peter had to catch himself before he dropped his head into his cereal bowl. "Fine. Fine. I'll think about it."

"Oh, and Peter?"

"Yea?"

"Wear something nice." And she then just hung up.

Peter scowled at his phone, willing it to send an electric jolt to MJ.

A soft chuckle behind him made him jump. "So, MJ is trying to get you and Sam together?"

Peter shook his head at the smiling face of Aunt May. "No, She's trying to hook me up with someone else."

"Well, I say go for it." She laughed at Peters unimpressed expression. "What's the worst that could happen? Go, live a little Peter. You're 18, Peter, and never even been out on a date." She kissed his temple. "Personally, I think seeing you with someone else might help Sam realize how he feels about you."

"Thanks, Aunt May...I'll think about it."

"Good. Now, I'm off to that retreat on the Appalachian trail, I'll be back late Monday."

"Okay, be safe and have fun."

"You too." She gave hims knowing smile and left the house.

His phone buzzed with a text from MJ.

[10:15 am] MJ: OH! I still need to tell you about last weekend!

[10:15 am] Peter: About your stakeout?

[10:16 am] MJ: yes. Because two heros ce by and omg, you're not going to believe me unless I show you!

[10:16 am] Peter: wana meet up before the party?

[10:16 am] MJ: no, I have too much prep to do over here. After.

His curiosity was piqued, what did she want to show him? Nothing interesting happened that night that he could remember. Maybe she was just excited to have two heros on camera together?

He barely finished his breakfast when someone knocked on the door. After putting the bowl in the sink he quickly made his way to open the door.

Danny's beaming face greeted him.

"Heeeey...Danny." He wasn't expecting him to come over. Usually he called first. "Everything alright?"

"Good morning, Peter." He stepped into the house, "I figured you would want to talk."

"You may have figured right. I don't know." He did want to talk, but that would mean facing his own recent actions.

Danny took a seat on the couch and Peter followed suit. Silence was rarely uncomfortable around Danny, his mere presence was calming; but as the seconds ticked by without either of them talking, Peter felt a shiver start at the base of his spine. Peter had encountered this once before from Danny. It was when he had taken, and hidden, the other teen's incense. It had been a harmless prank, but Danny was determined to find out who had done it. He had sat calmly, just as he was now, and just stared at each team member until Peter couldn't take it anymore and confessed. He had called it Danny's 'interrogation by guilt' or something and vowed to never mess with his stuff again.

The calm accusations coming from Danny were too much to bare, even though he knew what Danny was doing. He huffed, "Fine." He spread his arms, "Where would you like me to start?"

Danny smiled, "Wherever you'd like."

Peter realized he hadn't talked to Danny beyond school and team stuff in a week. So, he filled his friend in on everything that transpired in the last week. Even the moments he wasn't too proud of.

"Why do you think you reacted the way you did?" Danny had a way of not being judgemental, he asked the question, not as an accusation, but out of concern.

"I- I..." Peter hadn't thought about why he had reacted so strongly to Sam. He didn't know why he couldn't bring himself to forgive Sam. He just knew he wasn't sure what to do. He bowed his head. "I don't know. I've just been,  _numb_  I guess?"

Danny stayed silent and Peter continued to talk to his lap.

"I don't think I could handle losing him again. I mean, losing him as a friend. And, it would be ever worse if we were  _dating_  and he decided to leave me… That, that was the worst day I've had in a long time. I don't think it...I don't want to risk it. What if we have another fight and he decides he doesn't want to be friends again? Should I just keep my door open after every time?"

He snapped his head up and looked at Danny. "He threw away our friendship! Over a misunderstanding. He just left." He shook his head. "And the way I feel for him...it isn't just friendship. I don't know if I could go back to just being friends…"

Danny placed a soothing hand on his shoulder. "Do not be angry with a loved one without knowing the whole picture. Sometimes there are hidden meanings and other motives we do not see."

Peter sighed. "I know. But, when I just  _imagine_  talking to him my chest feels like it has this weight on it...and, what do you know about what's going on with Sam?"

"I only know what I have observed, and I can see he has been troubled for some time now. He has spurned my offers to talk, but perhaps he will open up to you?" Danny leaned back onto the cushion. "A worn shoe is nothing compared to losing the chance to walk the path at all."

Did Danny think he stood a chance? "So, you think I should go for it?"

"I think you should stop running away from him out of fear." He sighed and gave Peter a hard, serious look. "Im going to try to be clear with my meaning. You are afraid of losing people. I understand, I've lost too. I think...that is why you were so reluctant to join the team at the beginning. That is why it took so long for you to really open up to us all as friends." He paused and Peter could tell he was searching his face for something. "Are you afraid of loss so much that you would rather not have the joy of being with people at  _all_? Would you rather live alone, and isolated, instead of facing the possibility of losing someone? Which is the more painful option?"

Peter let the silence stretch for a few minutes while he processed everything Danny had just said. He was pretty sure that was Danny's version of a stern lecture, and it did its job. Had he really be pushing Sam away because he was afraid of losing him again?

"I...Danny. You're right." Peter  _was_ afraid of losing anyone else he was close to. "And I'm sorry for last weekend, I shouldn't have attacked you like that..." He groaned and threw his head back in frustration. "Danny, I don't know what to do!"

"You'll figure it out. I do suggest you start by talking to Sam, instead of avoiding him."

"Right." At this point, Peter figured he was the one who should apologize. "So, I just swallow my fear and try to go back to being friends?" Peter left the 'just friends' unsaid, but by the look Danny gave him, he understood.

Danny raised an eyebrow, "Perhaps a sparring session would help calm your nerves?"

Peter leaped at the opportunity. He had wanted to punch something for a while, but the team had no scheduled training sessions, and only minor villains had popped up recently - and the 'junior heros' were sent out for them. Peter almost missed being considered a 'junior hero'. Now they only were called for bigger missions; unless they would go out on patrol and  _happen_ across something. He totally blamed Ava for that; and to think, he had praised her for getting them out of training.

They entered one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. training rooms equipped with a sparring mat and not much else. Robots and lasers were fine and all, but sparring with Danny was always a welcome challenge for Peter. Their fighting styles were very different, and they quickly set a hard, fast pace.

Peter would dodge, just to find Danny had already anticipated his move. Then Danny would find his punch parried. With each thrust Peter imagined he was slicing through his problems, absolving himself of the self doubts, and endless worry. Every time he landed a solid hit he felt tension leave his shoulders. If he was in a better state of mind he might have accused Danny of going easy on him, he normally didn't score so many hits.

They continued on for close to an hour before calling it quits. After quick showers they walked to Danny's room. Fighting had done a lot to calm Peter's mind, but he was still anxious about the party later that night. What if he made a huge ass of himself? What if Sam's date was a huge bitch and threatened Peter? What if Sam's date was awesome and he had no reason to hate her? What if-

"Peter, I can hear you panicking from over here."

Peter sighed. "Just….trying to think about how to, maybe, respond, if I need to, to Sam's date...if I even have to talk to her."

Danny laughed. "Is that why you are so tense? Peter, didn't MJ tell you? Oh…"He paused to think, "...I guess she ran after you before Sam finished telling us-" He paused again. If he didn't start talking soon Peter was going to throw something at him. "His date is a friend from Arizona. She's just a friend, Peter. They're not dating, but she is his date."

Sam wasn't dating her? So he had a maybe chance? At Least he could talk to her without pretending he wasn't jealous. He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

"So…"

"So, you're an idiot."

"Did you just call me an idiot?" Peter blinked at Danny.

"I promised Ava I would." At Peter's disbelieving look he added, "It was a compromise. I call you an idiot, she doesn't lock the two of you in a closet until you sort yourselves out."

Peter groaned, he did not want to be one of Ava's projects. She had tried to force them to get along before. That had involved a well timed power outage while they were training alone together. They had fought so bad those 30 minutes they hadn't spoken to each other in days, and Ava swore she wouldn't try to get them to get along again.

"How are the two of you doing by the way?"

Danny grinned. "Great! But she wouldn't let me see the dress she is wearing tonight...said she wanted to meet me there and see my reaction."

"Did she go shopping with MJ?"

Danny nodded.

"You poor man." Peter laughed, "You're going to be beating people away from her."

"I have my own wardrobe choice which will leave her as speechless as she threatened to leave me." Danny smirked.

"Everyone planned out what to wear...and I'm probably just going to wear my normal-"

"No! You have to wear something nice!"

Peter huffed. "I don't have anything 'nice'. I have normal, practical, Peter Parker clothes. They've been fine for 18 years!"

Danny just shook his head. "You are hopeless."

"Yea, Yea."

After that Peter excused himself and made his way back home. He hadn't bothered putting on his wrist brace that morning, and it wasn't bothering him at all after their sparring session. It was nice to be back to being 100%.

He walked up to his house and noticed a package on the door mat. It was just plain white and had a note on it that said "DORK" in Harry's handwriting. He carried it inside and opened it.

"Dammit Harry."

* * *

He tugged at the sleeve of his shirt again while waiting for the elevator to reach Harry's floor. It fit him perfectly, as did the jeans; and as soon as he found Harry he was going to demand how he got his measurements. He had considered not wearing the outfit, but obviously Harry had spent a lot of thought- and money- on picking it out for him. The jeans were well tailored and were probably the nicest, most comfortable, he had ever worn.

The jeans were not the problem. It was the shirt.

Since becoming Spider-Man, Peter tried to wear baggy clothes to hide his physique. But the navy blue dress shirt was, like the jeans, well tailored. It clung to his muscles almost like a second skin, and it made him more than a little self conscious. And the two girls riding in the elevator with him kept looking over then whispering to each other. He desperately wished he brought a change of clothes- his normal clothes.

The elevator finally arrived on the right floor and he stepped out and into the foyer. The two girls ran ahead, giggling to themselves. He had arrived just when he planned to: 9:15pm, fifteen minutes after the party officially began. He had learned that most people arrived early, so showing up slightly late meant he was about a half an hour later than the first guests.

Harry was standing outside his door greeting people as they arrived, ever the conscientious host. He watched in confusion as the girls ahead of him took a marker and wrote something on each other's hands.

After they entered the party Harry turned his attention to Peter. "Looking sharp, Parker. You even managed to tame your nerd hair too."

Peter shook his head, "You didn't have to get this for me…"

"Oh, but I did. _MJ insisted._ " That made much more sense. "So, is she trying to set you up with someone?"

Peter groaned. "She didn't tell you?"

Harry shook his head.

Peter was about to try to fill him in, but the elevator dinged.

"Ah, more guests. We'll catch up inside? I'll be in in another ten minutes or so. Here." He grabbed Peter's left wrist. "Good thing your wrist is healed up." He drew a star on the back of his hand with a black sharpie then explained. "Anyone already 18 gets a star, anyone else has the number of days until their birthday."

"Oookay."

"MJ's idea. She nixed my hat idea."

Peter shrugged and opened the door to Harry's place. He shut the door behind him and was enveloped in the party. His first plan of action was to find Sam and apologize. He had psyched himself up the whole afternoon and the whole way there; but finding Sam was easier said than done. The lights were dim, the music was loud and the whole penthouse was flooded with teens.

Most he recognized from school, but there was no sign of MJ or any of his other friends. The center of the room was were people were dancing and he skirted around the side of the room looking for anyone he knew.

He found the food table first, but none of his friends were nearby. He shrugged and grabbed a mini plate and put some snacks on it. Next he inspected the beverage choices and found a definite  _lack_  of any alcohol. That was probably for the best, it was probably not the best time to test his alcohol limits. Talking to Sam was going to be nerve wracking enough, he didn't know  _what_  he would do if he was drunk. It would make the conversation easier, he mused, but he shivered thinking about the aftermath of a drunk conversation with Sam. Or, maybe just having a little bit of a buzz would give him the courage he needed to throw his inhibitions out the window and just kiss him, reproductions be damned. He sniffed the punch, it wasn't spiked. At least not yet.

He made a note to check again later.

The sea of bodies moved all around him. It was more like a dance club than a highschool party. The teens had a mix of stars and numbers on their hands. Numbers and stars swirled and jumped as the teens danced, it was oddly hypnotizing.

A tall blonde teen he didn't recognize danced out of the crowd and walked towards the table. He had a green glow stick around his ear and bobbed his head to the music as he walked walked right up to was a large number one written and circled on his hand, his birthday must be the following day- just mere hours away.

"Hey!"

Peter laughed at how ridiculous the other teen was. "Hi!"

The blonde leaned closer so they could hear each other over the music. "I'm friend's with MJ! I've been trying to say hello to everyone so they don't think I'm some random party crasher!"

His breath was warm on Peter's ear, and he had a suspicion that this was the friend MJ told him about that morning.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Peter." He held out his hand.

The other teen grabbed his hand in an overly enthusiastic shake, "Casper." He grinned and used their handshake to pull Peter closer to him, and whispered in his ear "And the pleasure is all mine."

Then he was gone, dancing back into the crowd with the glow stick swinging from his ear. He wasn't sure if Casper had been flirting with him or not, but he felt warm and tingly.

Peter shook his head and went back to searching for his friends- mainly Sam and MJ. He wandered around the party, but there must have been hundreds of people there. It was more crowded than any party they had thrown before, and moving around was difficult.

He kept glancing towards the door as well, keeping an eye out for Harry, but the door was often obscured. How was he going to find anyone?

He spotted Ava first, after about 20 minutes of searching. She was talking to a girl he didn't recognize, and he wondered if she was the other friend MJ suggested he 'talk' to. They were on the other side of the room and he fought his way over. A few girls tried to pull him onto the dance floor as he walked, he smiled and shook his head. He felt like he was walking through a gauntlet. Again, he wished he brought a change of clothes. He did not like the attention he was getting, he prefered to blend into the background.

"Hey Ava!" He grinned at her. Danny was going to have heart palpitations when he saw her dress- if he hadn't already.

"Peter!" She smiled at him. "Nice digs." Before they could chat further, she looked over his shoulder and smirked, "Well, there is my date- see you later!" She ran off towards the door where Danny was standing, leaving Peter and the girl he didn't know standing awkwardly next to eachother.

She was wearing a preppy goth dress, and Peter wondered how something could be both things at once. Her dark hair was dyed a vibrant pink in the front and she had a few facial piercings.

"Hi, I'm Carrie!"

Like with Casper, he had to lean close so they could hear each other over the music. "Peter."

"Oh! Peter Parker?"

He nodded.

"My friend has told me so much about you!" She gave him a once over, "But I thought you were some nerdy bookworm."

"Seriously?"

She giggled at him. "Yea. Sorry. You're just...not what I pictured..."

"Have you seen MJ?"

"Sorry, no. I've been kinda wandering aimlessly the last few minutes. My date ditched me...Ava talked with me for a bit, but now she's gone to her date..."

"Well, your date's a jerk for leaving you. I'm here alone, but I'm looking for my friends. Would you like to join me?"

She smiled, "You're sweet. And my date's not a jerk...well, he  _is_ , but we're not really together. He insisted I come with him and meet his friends, but so far I've been mostly alone."

Peter snorted, "Well, that's even worse. He shouldn't have asked you to come if he was just going to leave you alone with a party full of strangers."

"Oh, I'll be fine. Go find your friends."

"Come with me? We can keep each other company."

She wrapped her arm around his, "Sure, lead the way."

But he wasn't sure where to go. There were bodies pressed all around them now, and he couldn't see the other end of the room anymore. He led her out of the crowd and against a wall and resumed scanning the room.

Casper sauntered out of the crowd again, the glow stick still swinging on his ear. MJ was with him, wearing a dress similar to Ava's.

"Hey Peter!" Casper threw an arm around his shoulder and Carrie stepped back.

"Uh...hey?"

MJ laughed. "Glad you made it, Pete." She nodded towards Casper. "I see you've meet this monster. He's harmless."

Casper gasp, "I am anything but!" Then he was gone, dancing back into the crowd. Peter watched him go, trying to admire his figure, but he found he wasn't attracted to the taller teen.

MJ laughed as Casper walked away. She smiled at Carrie, "Hi, I'm MJ!"

Peter gave her a look. They didn't know each other?

"Nice to meet you, MJ! I'm Carrie, Sam's friend."

Peter felt his spine stiffen. Carrie was Sam's date? And she was pretty okay, and he absolutely had no reason to hate her. And Sam had just left her? What a jerk.

MJ smiled, but gave Peter an assessing look. "I haven't seen Sam yet, did you two get separated?"

"Er, kinda. He said he needed to talk to someone and disappeared. I didn't think it would be this hard to find anyone..."

MJ cringed, "Yea, there ended up being way more people that I thought…"

Suddenly Harry appeared behind her. "Hey guys!"

"Harry!" She gave him a quick hug. "Good job on dressing Peter. He looks presentable for once. I've seen lots of people checking him out." She shot Peter a sly grin.

"Only the best for my best friend." He give Peter a playful punch on the shoulder then turned to Carrie. "Please don't tell me Sam already got lost?"

MJ elbowed Harry in the ribs. "Why don't you and Peter go have fun? I'll show Carrie around." She didn't wait for an answer and grabbed Carrie's arm and led her into the crowd.

Peter sighed.

Harry gave him a perplexed look, "What was that all about?"

Peter led him to a quieter corner where fewer people could overhear. "MJ thinks Sam and Carrie are dating...but they're just friends."

"Okay, and?"

Peter couldn't believe he was going to say this out loud in a crowded space where anyone could hear him. "And, I  _like_  Sam...so I think MJ is being all mother hen about keeping me away from Carrie...because she thinks she's dating Sam, but she's not, and MJ wants to set me up with her friend Casper -or Gwen, but I haven't met her yet- and the whole thing is getting out of hand, and I just want to find Sam so I can apologize for being a huge jackass all week, but I can't find him."

Harry blinked at him. "Wait, you...like Sam? SAM?" He gaped at Peter. "I didn't know you were gay Peter! Isn't that something best friends should know? Shit, you should have told me and I wouldn't have said okay to him bringing a date! And Sam? Really?"

"Harry, first of all...I don't know if I  _am_  gay. It's not like I've ever had feelings like this before anyway...and don't worry about Carrie, she is actually very nice- and they're not dating." He glanced around the room then back to Harry. "And you're okay...with me...maybe being gay?"

"Why would it bother me Pete?"

"Thanks, Harry. I've been afraid of telling people, but everyone has been very supportive so far. But, I've been avoiding Sam all week, and I need to apologize and save our friendship before I even try to take it further...but I can't find him."

"Try texting him. Maybe you can meet at the punch table or something?"

Why didn't he think of that? He took out his phone and quickly sent off a few texts. He hadn't realized how late it already was.

[10:04 pm] Peter: Hey. Can we talk?

[10:04 pm] Peter: I need to talk to you

[10:05 pm] Peter: text me back so we can meet up?

He waited silently for a response, but none came.

"Give him some time, he's probably talking with someone, or maybe didn't hear his phone."

Peter nodded and put his phone away. He hoped Sam wasn't avoiding him now, though he would deserve it.

"So, you going to make a move on him?" Harry wiggled his eyebrows.

Peter closed his eyes and sighed. "I have no clue. This is new for me, okay?" He sighed. "But, I don't know...I've never dated anyone, so how do I know if I'm gay? Or if these feelings for Sam are just a one off?"

"Well, why don't you try dancing with some girls, and guys, and see what happens?" Harry smiled and nudged him with his elbow. "Plus, I think you have an admirer."

Peter turned and followed Harry's gaze. There was a petite, blonde, girl looking their direction. She was standing with a group of girls who were giggling behind their hands. Was she looking at him? Or at Harry?

He turned back to Harry. "Naw, she's checking you out. I'm not someone people look at like  _that_."

Harry smirked, "Well, I guess we'll find out."

Peter turned back around just as the girl stepped next to him. "Hi," she said to Peter, "I'm Gwen. Come dance with me." She wasn't asking, she grabbed his hand and towed him towards the middle of the dance floor. He shot a look back at Harry, who was grinning and gave him a thumbs up.

He allowed himself to be pulled along. He didn't recognize the song that was playing, but it had a nice enough beat. Gwen found a spot with enough room for both of them and started dancing very close to Peter. He mentally shrugged and started dancing with her, and found he actually was enjoying himself.

He found he was reacting to her closeness; Gwen's body was pressed close to his and he unconsciously leaned into her touch. Did that mean he was attracted to her? Or just that she was warm, and touching him?

She was shorter than him, and with a crushing realization he noticed she was the same height as Sam. As they continued dancing Peter mentally put Sam in her place, he imagined it was Sam's warm body that was pressed against him. Gwen ground against him, but when he closed his eyes it was Sam. They danced a few songs together, and he tuned out all the dancing bodies around him. It was Sam in his arms. It was Sam touching along his shoulders; leaning on his chest.

As the fourth or fifth song ended, Peter had lost count, he glanced over Gwen's head and locked eyes with Sam. The spell was broken and he was back to reality. It wasn't Sam he was dancing with. Sam was far away, on the other side of the room, and Peter wondered if he would ever get the chance to dance like that with Sam for real.

The eye contact lasted fractions of a second; the moment ended quickly as the next song picked up and Gwen leaned close and whispered in his ear. Before he could register what was happening a soft warmth covered his mouth.

Gwen leaned back and smiled. "I'm going to head to the bathroom, nice dancing with you. Maybe we can do it again."

She winked and Peter watched as she headed in the opposite from where he had seen Sam. His lips tingled and he stared after her for a few moments. That had been his first  _real_  kiss.

Recently he always pictured it being with Sam.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Not too much happening yet, but the set up is there. Much angst in the next chapter...so much... after doing the first draft of it I have the urge to do another side fluff piece, if I do i'll post it later.
> 
> I'm not a huge fan of adding in O/Cs, and I make no exception for mine. Casper is just a filler because the only Marvel character I could think of that fit what I needed is Tony Stark, and hes a bit old to be going to a HS party hahah. Don't worry, Casper will not be sticking around.


	7. Party part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and reviews!
> 
> Sorry the last chapter cut mid scene! I didn't want it to be too long...plus cutting it where I originally was would have been cruel (and also mid scene). This chapter ended up being longer than I expected, but I wanted to expand on some parts of it to round it out a bit. So, I didn't get as far as I wanted to in the story. There are some parts of this chapter I'm not happy about, even after editing like 4 times, but I'll just have to edit those parts again after it has sat for a while...
> 
> *bonks the idiots over the head*

 

* * *

Previously:

The eye contact lasted fractions of a second; the moment ended quickly as the next song picked up and Gwen leaned close and whispered in his ear. Before he could register what was happening a soft warmth covered his mouth.

Gwen leaned back and smiled. "I'm going to head to the bathroom, nice dancing with you. Maybe we can do it again."

She winked and Peter watched as she headed in the opposite from where he had seen Sam. His lips tingled and he stared after her for a few moments. That had been his first real kiss.

Recently he always pictured it being with Sam.

* * *

SAM! He turned back around, searching for Sam's gaze. But the dark haired teen had walked away from the spot. Had he only imagined seeing the shorter teen? No, he was certain he had seen him.

He needed to find Sam. He now had visual confirmation he was still at the party. From the brief look he got of Sam, he was wearing close to his normal clothes, just minus the shirt under his sweater.

Peter checked his phone, hoping for a reply. But there were no new messages. He trudged back to where he left Harry and was glad his friend was still there. He was engaged in an animated conversation with Luke. They both looked up when he appeared in their bubble of space.

"Have fun Parker?" Harry grinned. "Looked like you were."

"Yea man, who was that? She's pretty hot." Luke clasp him on the shoulder and grinned.

Peter was still dazed, and  _tired_ , and failed to process the question. He blinked up at Luke, opening and closing his mouth.

Harry spoke for him, "MJ's friend, Gwen. She seems to have taken a liking to our little nerd here."

Peter laughed, breaking out of his stupor. "Well, there is a first time for everything. I'm going to blame the outfit." He enjoyed Gwen's company, he knew that much. But if the time on the dance floor gave him any insight at all, it was that he was hopelessly infatuated with Sam.

He imagined it was Sam who had gently pressed their lips together. Like the dancing, it wasn't hard to replace Gwen with who he had  _really_  wanted with him. Gwen was attractive, but he wasn't attracted to her. No, he wished desperately that it had been Sam out there with him.

Peter continued to scan for Sam, he couldn't have just disappeared. He pulled out his phone and checked for a reply, finding none.

[10:32pm] Peter: Are you getting my texts?

He put his phone back in his pocket and tried to participate in the conversation Luke and Harry were having.

"So, then she tells him 'No, it's a mango!'" Luke and Harry were doubled over laughing, but Peter, who had not been paying attention, did not get the punchline.

He resumed searching.

[10:40pm] Peter: I'm sorry.

He waited several more minutes for a reply, listening politely to Luke and Harry, but not registering a word they said.

[10:45pm] Peter: Sam, I want to apologize to your face.

He sighed. Luke and Peter were telling another story, but he couldn't make himself focus on their words.

Luke nudged Peter with his shoulder. "So, does our resident science nerd have any suggestions?"

"Huh?" He had tuned them out completely.

"Damn, Parker, that eager to find your dance partner again? You're barely listening aren't you?" Luke crossed his arms in mock anger, smirking down at Peter.

"Sorry..."

"Yea...so,  _anyway_. Senior Prank. What's your number one?"

Peter smirked, allowing himself to be pulled away from his obsessive searching. "I have a few. Danny and I talked a few weeks ago about some possibilities."

Harry laughed, "What, is Danny going to do? Prank everyone into a meditation circle?"

"No," Peter grinned, "He suggested we sneak in and bolt everything in Coulson's office to his ceiling...and make the entrance into a Zen garden."

"Hmm, good start. But how will we do it without being caught?" Harry frowned, "Anything we do will be caught on the school's security cameras." He had no idea just how  _many_  cameras there really were. S.H.I.E.L.D had the place rigged.

Luke chucked, "Sam is a good hacker. He's shorted out the system before, he'll have no problem doing it again."

Sam. Right. Peter glanced around, hoping that he had materialized when Luke said his name.

Harry was giving Luke a disbelieving look, "Riiiight. Sam has, like, the worst GPA out of the entire senior class, you're telling me he's a tech genius?"

Peter glared over at Harry, "He is smarter than people give him credit for...he just..." Peter trailed off, unsure just  _what_  Sam was.

"Doesn't apply himself." Luke finished for him.

"Yeah."

"Right. And why did he hack the system before?"

Luke started to tell Harry the story. Peter already knew that story, he hadn't been there, but he'd heard it plenty of times secondhand. One day, Sam was rushing to get out of school, to go where Peter never did learn, but he left his backpack in his locker. Along with his helmet. Sam didn't want his blunder getting back to Fury, so, yadda yadda, he disabled the security feed, got his helmet, and left. No one would have known if he hadn't have made the mistake of enlisting Ava's help.

While Luke told Harry the long version, minus the helmet detail, Peter went back to scanning the party. He pulled out his phone and frowned at the lack of messages.

"So, yea, Sam can do it. I don't think it will take much arm twisting to get him on board."

Harry nodded, "Alright then. What if we do the senior prank early? Like, at Prom? The school wouldn't be expecting it then."

Luke frowned, "That's only in, like, a month...speaking of, I need to find a date." He trailed off.

Peter shrugged, "It's a good idea Harry, but it also leaves us with nearly two months of school in which Coulson can extract his revenge on us...Plus, I wasn't planning on going to Prom."

Harry sighed and looked at his feet, "Your're right." He snapped his head back up, a grin plastered over his face. "Or, we can do a weak prank at Prom, just enough to make everyone think that's the real deal. Something that won't get us into too much trouble, but then their guard would be down for the  _real prank_."

Peter and Luke burst out laughing. "That's great."

"We need to set up a planning meeting…" Everyone nodded, and silently agreed to talk more about it later, away from potential eavesdroppers.

Suddenly Luke slapped his back. "Well, I'm going back into the mix, you losers have fun. We'll talk more on Monday about our prank!"

After Luke was gone, Harry gave Peter a knowing look. "So, what about Sam? A cute blonde changed your mind that fast?"

"No...not at all. If anything, I..." He shook his head. "I'm looking for Sam. I have been since I got here. He thinks I'm still mad at him, and I've been a huge jerk this week...and he saw me dancing with Gwen. He moved before I could make my way over...and what if he thinks I'm into her?"

Harry nudged him. "You always worry over nothing. Follow me, lets go to the kitchen and grab some fresh sodas. It's quieter in there too, you can give me all the sordid details about what's been going on with you. Plus, there is some wine chilling, and you look like you could use a drink."

Peter still wasn't sure if drinking would be the best decision. He may have been 18, but the legal age in New York was still 21. The last thing he needed was an underage drinking bust, because, goodbye scholarship. But, a few sips  _would_  do wonders for his nerves.

Peter knew the house well enough, but with the furniture rearranged and the masses of bodies, he was glad Harry was there to lead turned a corner and were in the short hall that led to the kitchen. It was instantly quieter.

Harry stopped in front of him and Peter almost walked into his back.

"Hey, girls…"

Peter looked around Harry's shoulder. MJ and Carrie were standing at the door to the kitchen whispering to each other. MJ jumped at Harry's greeting and zeroed in on Peter. Carrie shot him a look that made no sense; she looked apologetic.

"Um, " MJ started. "The kitchen is off limits?" She bit down on her lip and sent Harry a look Peter couldn't decipher.

Carrie shook her head. "You don't want to go in there."

Peter rolled his eyes at the two girls. He stepped around Harry and pushed the door open before MJ could stop him. He looked around the room and froze. Harry walked up beside him and did the same.

Harry and MJ grabbed Peter's arm to pull him back out of the kitchen, but he wasn't even registering their actions.

On the left side of the kitchen, between the refrigerator and the microwave was Sam; and he must not have heard the door open over the sound of the music because he didn't look up. Sam's sweater was a low V, and dipped just below his collarbone. He was sitting on the counter, and in front of him, standing between his knees was Casper.

The tall blonde had his mouth on Sam's neck and Sam had his eyes closed as he leaned into the contact. His lips parted and Peter could not hear if he was making a sound over the music and pounding in his ears. The glow stick was around Sam's ear now, Casper must have given it to him; it swayed slightly with each minute movement Sam made, mocking Peter with every slight movement.

Casper had one hand on Sam's back, under his shirt, and was holding him close. His other hand was resting on Sam's upper thigh. By Sam's disheveled look, they had been at it for some time.

Peter was mesmerized by the image before him, seeing Sam in such a state, all of his guards down, trusting someone so...intimately. Would Sam ever make such a face for him? Would he ever be able to put Sam in such a state of abandon?

Peter stood there for what seemed like hours, taking in the scene before him. In reality it was less than 10 seconds before he regained control over his body and took a step back into the hallway.

As Peter stepped back Casper moved one hand from Sam's thigh to his belt buckle. Sam pulled his neck away from Casper and shook his head. But Casper leaned further in and captured Sam's lips, and continued working on his belt buckle.

Peter froze, watching as Sam put his hands on Casper's shoulders and pushed him back. It sounded like he said "Not there", but Peter wasn't sure. Despite Sam's protest, Casper continued his advancement.

Peter didn't think. Before he registered that his feet were moving, he was behind Casper, grabbing his shoulder, and pulling him off of Sam. He had enough sense left to not use his spider strength, but he still jerked the tall blonde back hard.

Both teens looked at him, neither having heard his approach. Casper was the first to recover and shrugged Peter's hands off. He took a step backwards towards Sam, and Peter leveled him with a glare.

Sam climbed down from the counter and stepped around Casper, the glow stick swinging as if to mock him. His face was red; from embarrassment or anger, Peter didn't know, but supposed it was both. Sam's breath was ragged and his shoulders rose and fell as he tried to regain his composure.

"What. The. Fuck." Sam ground the words out. He took another step and was in Peter's personal space. "Just...what the fuck Parker?"

Peter couldn't stop his imagination from producing images of just why his voice was so hoarse; Sam gasping, begging, moaning someone  _else's_  name.

His nostrils flared as Sam's breath hit him; was that alcohol? Had Sam been drinking?

"I, I thought he was-" Peter cut himself off, unwilling to finish.

Casper gasp. "I would never!" He put a hand on his hip.

Sam frowned, "I can take care of myself."

"I know, I-" Peter huffed. What had he been thinking? Sam was a hero, he was more than capable of defending himself.

Sam glared up at him and growled. His fists clenched at his sides, his teeth grinding together. The alcohol reeked, and Peter wondered how much Sam had ingested. He seemed to have control over all of his faculties, so he either hadn't had much, or had ingested it rather recently.

Casper put a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Come on, let's go find another spot." He tugged him a little and Sam relented, taking a half step back.

"Sam, I..." What could he possibly say? Should he just confess that he was jealous, and angry, and confused? He now knew Sam was into guys, he had a shot at least; a few minutes ago he would have been ecstatic to learn that, but the knowledge came with a heavy price. A million things swam through his head, each clamoring to be heard. He strained to pick something to say, but his mind wouldn't focus on just one.

"So glad you think I'm just a weakling who can't defend myself! I wasn't being forced to do anything!"

"But you-you were pushing him off...I thought you, and he...And you-"

"I didn't want to have sex in the kitchen!"

Peter winced. Sam glared up at him, daring Peter to press him further.

Peter's brain was unable to keep up with the rush of new information, emotions, and possible responses. It felt like he was thinking with jello. Sam was not only into guys, but was willing to have sex with a guy he just met? Peter, who had never really even kissed anyone -did Gwen count?- couldn't comprehend this new revelation about Sam.

He looked down at Sam, who was trying to place his emotionless mask over his face, but he could still see the swirl of emotions in his eyes.

Peter opened his mouth, he needed to say something before Sam left.

Before he left with another guy.

"Sam," he intended to say that he liked him, that he was sorry, that he thought he was being forced, that he was confused, sorry, and could he  _please just kiss him already_? But his brain was still having problems processing, and what came out was: "You're gay?"

Peter knew it was wrong as soon as the words left his mouth. After all of the stress he put himself through while figuring out if he, himself, was gay, he knew what that question would sound like to Sam. A breathless,  _thoughtless_ , question, that he knew Sam would take it to mean ' _You don't look gay, it is a phase, you're totally really straight_ ' or ' _Gross, I spent so much time with you, and_ now _you tell me you're gay?_ '. He knew, because that was his fear, that his friends and family would hate him. And Sam clearly had tried to keep it a secret.

The effect on Sam was immediate. The mask was gone, and in a blink his face contorted. Sam's eyebrows came together, his lips were a thin line, and the tears pooling in his eyes broke Peter's heart. Peter tried to open his mouth, to apologize, to explain, but he was rooted to the spot.

Peter saw Sam clench his fists tighter and bring his arm up. He closed his eyes; he wouldn't dodge something he deserved.

But the blow never came and he opened his eyes. Casper was gripping Sam's raised fist. Sam was seething, his breath ragged, but didn't try to move the hand on his fist.

Peter couldn't move, didn't know where he should move; he just stared, wide eyed, into the stormy eyes in front of him.

Casper moved first and gently pushed Sam's arm down. He huffed, "So much for getting laid for my birthday..." His quip did nothing to lighten the tension in the room. He clapped a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Well, it was nice meeting you, I -"

Sam turned around, "I'm coming with you."

Casper gave him a sad smile then leaned down, capturing Sam's lips against his own. He pulled away just as quickly and looked straight at Peter's ridged form. "I think you two need to talk..." He turned his attention back to Sam and pouted, "But, call me tomorrow, if you want." He pulled a pen out of his pocket and wrote on Sam's palm with a flourish.

Peter blinked, slowly regaining control. He took a shaky breath as Casper leaned down to whisper in Sam's ear. Then, like he had every time Peter had seen him, Casper turned around and sauntered away like he had somewhere better to be.

Without the crowds he wasn't able to disappear as quickly. With a jolt, Peter remembered his friends who had been at the kitchen door with him moments before. But the door was now closed, and Casper flung it open and waltzed out into the hall. The door stayed open, and Peter saw no sign of Harry, MJ, or Carrie. He was glad for that, he and Sam were going to need the privacy.

He turned his focus back to Sam, who had stepped away from him and was leaning against the counter he and Casper had been making out on moments before. He had his arms crossed, fully facing Peter. He could see the marks Casper had left on his neck, and he knew the hickeys would be there for a few days. He swallowed his breath, he would have to see Sam with another's mark on him. Over. And over. For days.

Something primal surged inside of Peter, an urge to mark Sam as his, to put his own marks over the ones already there, and to add new ones that were just his.

But Sam was glaring at him, and looked like he would throw another punch if Peter came within striking distance. And he still needed to apologize. Peter could see his friend needed someone to help him, whatever was going on in his life was starting to take a toll, if the alcohol was any indication.

They faced each other, neither wanting to speak first.

Sam closed his eyes and sighed. He reached to the counter behind him and retrieved a small flask Peter had not seen. He unscrewed the top and downed the remaining liquid. It was then that Peter saw Sam's hand, and where he expected to see a bold star was a number 34. Sam wasn't 18 yet...and suddenly Peter was snapped out of his stupor.

S.H.I.E.L.D had been very clear about what they could and could not do as minors, while still considered wards of S.H.I.E.L.D. Peter had been given the same lecture, even though he didn't live on the tricarrier. They looked the other way on some things, but alcohol, drugs,  _sex_...Fury had been very clear what he thought about such subjects; add the effect they could have on a developing hero...and disaster. Stark was a shining example, but he was out of S.H.I.E.L.D's control.

Sam was drinking so casually, was going to have sex so casually, and Peter wondered how often he had done so in the past, and how often he let them interfere with a mission. Had he ever jeopardized the team?

But those thoughts were pushed to the back of the line. He could yell at Sam later, after he apologized for the  _last_  time. He needed to get Sam out of the party before he was seen, or the rumors would make it back to Coulson by lunch on Monday. He wanted to pull Sam to him, to cradle him in his arms and push away whatever demons led Sam to turn to drinking as a solution.

Sam wiped his lips on the sleeve of his sweater and tucked the flask into his pants pocket. He leveled another glare at Peter and pointed at him. "You're such a cock block!"

If he wasn't so tense Peter would have laughed. The alcohol must have given Sam the push he needed to continue.

"Seriously, Parker. We're not even friends."

Peter sighed and took a step towards him. "Yes, we are." Sam opened his mouth to argue, but Peter cut him off. "You can't convince me otherwise."

"Get away. I'm going home."

Peter took another step so he was standing right in front of Sam. His heart urged him to just lean down and kiss him, to not let words ruin the opportunity. Then, Sam huffed indignantly, and Peter could smell the alcohol again.

"Shit, Sam, How much did you drink?" There was no way he was letting Sam just leave alone in his current state.

"Not enough to make you go away." The alcohol was starting to affect him, and Sam's words were slower.

Peter took a step back. He was going to gamble. "Then prove to me you're not drunk. If you can walk out without tripping or stumbling, I'll leave you."

Sam huffed, "Of course I'm fine to walk. Geez!" But he remained leaning against the counter. He glared at Peter, then at the still open door.

Finally he pushed off the counter and tried to take a step. Except, the sudden movement sent his brain swimming in circles and he quickly reached back to the counter for support.

"Okay, then...lets get you to bed."

Sam shook his head, "No, damn. I wasn't planning on, uh, going back tonight. Fury will kill me..." He gave Peter a pleading look.

"You can crash at my place...if you want. Fury doesn't have to know you were drinking."

Peter offered his arm for support and gently lead Sam to the door. Once Sam was standing he had almost no problem walking, the initial rush to his head had passed, but Peter still gripped his arm.

Sam turned his head to face Peter, which wasn't the smartest thing to do when you're drunk and having trouble walking when you  _are_  looking. He tripped, but Peter was anticipating it and caught him mid stumble.

"Why do you even care?" It was said with such disgust that Peter flinched.

"Sam..." Peter sighed. "We can talk when you're sober, I don't need you forgetting..."

"Forgetting what?"

Peter paused, deciding how to best answer Sam's question. He settled on: "How much you mean to me." He hoped he sounded sincere, because Sam did mean a lot to him.

Sam rolled his eyes and frowned, but didn't press further.

Sam's inebriated state made their walk out of the kitchen a slow ordeal. The alcohol was still kicking in, and Peter wanted to get him home before it all was absorbed into his bloodstream. What started as an easy walk became more drawn out as Sam tried to push Peter away, insisting he was fine. But Peter didn't trust Sam to not try to run away from him, so he held firmly to his arm.

Peter peered into the hallway, expecting to find his friends eve's dropping, but he only saw Harry. He was leaning against the wall further down the hall, and Peter was relieved to know his conversation with Sam so far had not been overheard.

"Pete, Sam..." Harry pushed off the wall and walked towards them. "MJ and Carrie are waiting in the foyer, by the elevator. Casper gave us heads up that Sam may have had too much to drink..." he trailed off as Sam tried to push Peter's hand off. "And, just  _where_  did you get the alcohol?"

Sam stopped trying to push Peter away and shrugged. "I brought it with me."

Peter frowned, where had he acquired it? He added it to the growing list of things he needed to talk to Sam about. But those would have to wait until Sam was sober, and they were away from their nosey friends.

He didn't miss the worried look Harry sent his way. "Get him home safely, Pete."

"No, I'm staying." Sam resumed trying to wiggle out of Peter's grip, but he used his full strength and held firm.

"No, you're going to bed."

Sam gasp and looked at Peter wide eyed, "No, I can't go with you. Aunt May can't see me like this!" He swayed a little, emphasizing his current state.

"Don't worry, she's out of town again." Peter smiled endearingly, even at his worst Sam cared for Aunt May and didn't want to tarnish her opinion of him.

Sam relaxed at the news and let Peter lead him through the party, and to the door. Harry helped him navigate, and they were able to make it to the door without incident.

But Flash was leaning on the wall next to the door and smirked when he saw Sam leaning on Peter. He leveled a glare at the jock, daring him to say something. Harry opened the door and pushed them both through before Flash could cause a scene. He didn't join them, he needed to stay at the Party, but promised to call Peter later that night.

As Harry said, MJ and Carrie were waiting in the hall. Thankfully, Casper was nowhere in sight, and Peter hoped he was still somewhere inside the party, and not lurking outside for Sam.

Carrie moved first and flicked Sam in the ear. "You dolt! You promised me you had stopped!"

Sam looked at his feet sheepishly, "I- Sorry, Carrie..."

She crossed her arms, ready to continue scolding him.

MJ cut in, "Carrie, can you and Peter get him home? This isn't the place...people are going to overhear..."

Carrie uncrossed her arms, "Yea, that's for the best. Are you coming, MJ?"

"I need to stay and help Harry. But, you better text me with an update."

She gave Peter a hug and returned to the party.

Carrie huffed, "Well, Sam, congratulations on ruining our night." She grabbed Sam's other arm and helped Peter push him into the elevator. "MJ and I were having so much fun! And after this, well, I'm going to tell Peter and MJ embarrassing stories about you."

Sam grunted in response.

They both let go of Sam once the doors closed and he could no longer escape. She let Peter hit the button for the lobby. "Shit, where are we going? His, uh, uncle Nick will kill him if he finds out he was drinking. He can't stay at my hotel, there's no way my mom would allow it..."

Peter blinked at her calling Fury 'Uncle Nick', was that what Sam had told her? "No, it's okay. I already figured on letting him crash at my place. He's done it before, and my Aunt is out of town..."

Carrie gave him a relieved smile, "Good...okay, I'm going to stop and change, then I'm coming over too. I need to yell at him."

"I'm riiiight here, guys. I'm not even drunk, just a little buzzed." Sam leaned against the wall of the elevator, pouting indignantly.

"We can split a cab, we can wait while you go change."

"That's okay, I may be a while if my mom's still awake...I'll need to explain stuff to her..and...I think you two should talk...about, you know."

Peter  _didn't_  know, exactly. There were several scenarios; the drinking, the making out, Sam's recent behavior...or had MJ spilled the beans about his crush on Sam?

"Guys, still right here."

Peter and Carrie ignored him and exchanged phone numbers. Peter text her his address, and they walked out of the elevator.

"My hotel isn't far, I'll grab a cab and meet you at your Aunt's. Call me if he gives you any trouble."

She flicked Sam in the ear again, "And if you don't behave I'm telling your Mom!"

Sam stood a little straighter at her threat.

Carrie hailed a cab first and left Sam and Peter waiting for the next one. They stood silently on the curb, Peter still gripping Sam's arm to prevent him from trying to run off.

After a few moments another cab drove past and he was able to hail it. He was so going to make Sam pay him back for the cab fare.

They settled into the back seat for what was going to be, possibly, the most awkward cab ride of Peter's life.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wew. Done. Finally. Heads up, the next chapter is going to be ~2 weeks. I have a lot going on IRL at the moment.
> 
> Also, I've only been sorta drunk like once, so describing it is a bit rough. It still seems like I over embellished it, but I do imagine Sam drinking whiskey instead of beer. Don't worry, we will explore Sam's demons a bit in the next chapter. And (SPOILER) how he hates the idea of turning into his father.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. The After Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, this chapter didn't want to come together. Thank you so much to everyone who is reading! 
> 
> As always, please let me know if I missed anything during my edit.

Peter pushed Sam into the backseat of the taxi then slowly slid in next to him. Sam didn’t argue or try to fight, instead he sighed and leaned his head against the glass of the window. Peter leaned up and gave the driver his address, then settled into the seat, thoroughly drained. The rush of adrenaline started to dissipate and he was able to begin what was going to be a long process of sorting through everything which had happened that evening.

Next to him, Sam was quiet. Peter had so many questions, but decided it was best to wait until they got home. Home. He wondered if Sam missed his home. Being so far from his family must have been hard on the young hero. When the team had briefly moved in with him, Sam had clung to Aunt May like a surrogate mother.

The silence stretched between them and Peter sighed. He berated himself for how he handled the situation in the kitchen. He knew Sam could take care of himself, but the need to protect his friend had been too great. Without his helmet, Sam was just a regular guy. Sure, Sam had gone through the same SHIELD training, but his powers came from his helmet. And he really didn’t like the sight, or even the idea, of someone else touching Sam. He had never been possessive, or jealous, before; he had never had a reason to. The whole idea of being attracted to someone had been an abstract concept until recently.

Peter clenched his eyes closed, drawing in his brows. The list of things he needed to apologize for just kept growing. It seemed every time he saw Sam he made it worse. He knew he needed to fix the rift which was growing between them. Somehow. Because he knew he could live without dating Sam, without Sam ever even knowing how he felt. He could stand back and watch Sam be with someone else. As long as Sam was happy, and in his life, he knew he would be okay. He needed to make sure Sam stayed in his life. Acting like he had the past week (months) would only serve to push them further apart

Slowly, he reopened his eyes and blinked at the passing scenery. He faced forward again and out of the corner of his eye Peter could see the soft glow of Sam's cell phone.

His heart clenched as he watched Sam copy the number on his hand into his contacts. He turned to look out the window, leaning his head against the cool glass with a sigh. He could still hear Sam tapping away at his phone.

"Um. Peter?" Sam’s voice was still raspy as it cut through the silence.

Peter closed his eyes, suddenly very tired. "Yeah?"

"I jus’ got your texts." Sam’s words were slightly slurred, reminding him that Sam’s issues were worse than he thought.

Peter opened his eyes and glared out the window at the traffic. Even at midnight New Yorks traffic was terrible. "What, go to text your boyfriend and finally see them?" He didn't mean for his tone to sound so bitter. Hadn’t he just decided he would just live with Sam seeing someone else?

Sam inhaled sharply next to him and turned to look out the window as well.

Peter sighed, he hadn't meant to say that out loud. He reached over to put a hand on Sam's knee, but pulled back just before making contact. "I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to say..." He trailed off when he realized they were pulling into his street.

The cab parked in front his house. He paid the cabbie and opened his door, hesitating when Sam didn't move. He walked around to Sam's side and opened his door. "Sam, lets go."

Sam frowned up at him. "You don't have to be nice to me."

Peter rolled his eyes and grabbed Sam's elbow, pulling him up. "Let's talk inside?"

Sam didn't struggle and let Peter lead him into the house. Once inside, Sam took a seat on the large plush chair and stared around the living room.

After a few moments Peter thrust a glass of water in his hands and took a seat on the couch. The physical distance between them was nothing compared to the emotional one. He didn't know where to start, jumping in didn’t work out the best for him the last time he tried to have a heart to heart with Sam.

A bit of silver caught his eye and he walked over to the large chair. Peter reached out slowly towards Sam. Sam sucked in a quick breath as Peter pulled the flask from his pocket. Peter stared at it, turning it over. It was intricately engraved with delicate lines and had "JA" on one corner. Too pretty for what it had contained.

"How much? How long?" He tried to keep his tone even, to not let his worry and anger tinge his words. Peter needed to know. He needed to know beyond the affect it may have had on the team. He needed to know beyond the events of that evening. He needed to know because he cared deeply for the teen in front of him, as a friend, teammate, and hopefully more one day. A fleeting memory danced into Peter's mind of Sam believing he wasn’t good enough. Had those thoughts caused him to drink, or had the drinking caused those thoughts?

Sam shifted away from him and reached for the flask. "Why do you-"

Peter put a finger over Sam's chapped lips. "Don't you _dare_ ask me why I care." He shivered as Sam's warm breath ghosted over his finger. "You're starting to scare me, Sam. You've been pulling away, you've been so distant for the last few months. Before our fight- shit, you’ve been like this since you got back from Arizona last summer."

Sam parted his lips to speak, not waiting for Peter to move his finger away. "I, I'm not, Peter..."

He dropped his hand into his lap. Ignoring the sensation of Sam’s lips moving against his fingers, Peter asked, "Are you drunk? How much did you drink?"

"Just buzzed...it takes’a lot to get me drunk." Sam snapped his mouth closed as he realized his mistake.

Peter sighed and shook his head. "Why?"

"Why was I drinking tonight?"

Peter wanted to know that too, but it would have to wait. He wasn't going to be distracted. "Why did you start?"

Sam eased the flask out of Peter’s grip. "My dad." Sam took a deep breath and continued. "Over the Summer, I found him. But I was too late, he was gone."

Peter squeezed Sam’s knee, "Sam, I'm so sorry."

Sam shook his head. "There is still hope, but I have no way...it took me years to find that lead. He escaped the prison before I could save him...some hero, right? My powerless old man saved himself."

"Wait, he's still alive?"

"I don't know."

Peter looked up at Sam, “It’s not your fault. And it is no reason to do this to yourself.” He motioned to the flask.

Sam turned the silver flask around his his hands. “This was my dad’s…He did it -drinking- when he stopped being Nova..” He frowned at the container.

Peter eased it back out of Sam’s hands. “And didn’t you hate him for it?” It was one of the few details Peter actually knew from Sam’s life in Arizona.

Sam was starting at Peter’s hand on his knee, “Yes.” He sighed and looked back at Peter’s face. “But, it helps. I understand him now, it helps numb the sinking pit in my head, Peter.”

“Sam.” Peter gripped both of Sam’s arms. “Numbing it doesn’t make it go away, it just pushes it down, helps it grow and fester.”

“You sound like Carrie.” Sam pushed Peter’s hands off his arms. “Look, I’ve never been drunk while on a mission, okay?”

“Still not okay.” Peter shook his head. “Has it affected your grades? Your training? Sam, would you have done...that...tonight if you hadn’t been drinking?”

Sam’s jaw clenched. “Seriously Parker?”

“Seriously. You had no idea who he was! He could have been a villain’s alter ego for all you know! He could have hurt you!”

“Ayurgh!” Sam pushed Peter away from him and stood up from the chair. He grabbed the flask and put it back into his pocket. “I can take care of myself! Who I decided to sleep with is of no concern to you! Or is it because it was a guy? Huh? Because you wouldn’t be the first to have a problem with it!”

Peter stood up as Sam started pacing around the living room. “Sam, that's not- no.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t care less if you’re gay. That's not what I’m upset about…”

“Damnit, Parker! We’re not all blushing virgins like you, okay?” He clutched his head, "Uh, moving ‘s not a good idea." He collapsed onto the couch and rubbed his temples.

"Sam, I'm worried about you..." Peter bit his lip and walked over to where Sam was sitting. "You're going to get yourself, or someone else, hurt if you continue like this. Talk to me."

Sam leaned back. "I don't _want_ to talk to you, or anyone else, about it. I'm fine." He raised his voice louder and louder as he spoke, until he was shouting at Peter. "It is _my_  life. We aren't technically teammates anymore, so cut that crap. And you don't have to be my friend if you don't like how I choose to live my life!"

Peter matched his volume, incited by the unsaid accusations. He turned around and pulled at his bangs. "Sam- we are friends. I don't want to see you ruin your life. Is the drinking and sex all you're doing? What about drugs? Huh? When the booze stops numbing you, what will you turn to next?"

Peter knew he was being overly harsh, perhaps exaggerating the possibility of Sam turning to drugs, but he had a driving need to make Sam understand.

"Why do you insist on caring so much?" Sam was standing again, gesturing at Peter as he shouted.

Peter glowered at the hands waving in his face and yelled back "I told you! Has that bucket of yours damaged your hearing? Or is the the alcohol? I care because I am your _friend_. And because I-"

A knock at the front door interrupted what was probably going to be his confession _if_ he had been allowed to continue. Peter immediately deflated. Had he been about to tell Sam he liked him? While _yelling_ at him? He was immensely grateful -and pissed- at the intrusion.

He left Sam brooding on the couch and opened the door for Carrie, who was standing on his porch with a duffle bag. She stalked past him with a whispered, "Give me five minutes."

Peter closed the door with a sigh and pointed her to the living room.

He shuffled into the kitchen and rummaged around. There wasn’t much to eat, but he did find a frozen pizza. After setting the oven to preheat he leaned against the counter with crossed arms. He could hear raised voices from the living room and, although he wasn’t purposefully eavesdropping, he did catch a word here and there.

“...-Not okay…”

“But…”

“....SAM...PETER…”

“HELMET…FINE...DRINK…”

Peter sighed, with only hearing a few words he couldn't piece together their conversation.

The oven beeped and he inserted the pizza and set the timer with a light click. He was fairly sure he had heard Sam talk about his Nova helmet. How much did Carrie know? If she knew Sam was Nova, did that mean she knew his secret identity too? There were too many unanswered questions for his liking. Who had a problem with Sam being gay? Was he planning on seeing Casper again? Where did Peter fit in Sam’s life now? Would he still have a place in it after high school?

The voices had died down and Peter was torn between staying in the kitchen and trying to hear their conversation. He didn’t have to wait long until Carried stomped into the kitchen.

She stopped just past the doorway and pointed towards the living room. “Talk to him. He’s a mess.”

“I tried, I just made it worse, I think.”

Carrie shrugged her shoulders, “Well, try again.”

“You’re his friend, too.” It was an unfair jab, yet Peter couldn’t bring himself to care. She had known Sam longer; if she couldn’t get through to him, what chance did he have?

From the kitchen he heard the bathroom door slam shut.

“I..think he needs you to…”She trailed off and sighed. “He talks about you, and his other friends, a lot when he comes home. Mostly you. He looks up to you, like you’re some genius who will be super famous one day- like Tony Stark….” She bit her lip, “I shouldn’t betray Sam’s confidence like this...but..”

Peter watched warily as Carrie softly walked closer to him. She spoke in barely a whisper as she continued.

“...Sam promised me he had stopped drinking. He was bad this Summer- I- he - Sam got into a lot of fights this summer...mostly while he was drunk. He somehow managed to keep it from his mom, but I think she knows anyway...” She shook her head. “He wouldn't tell me why, though. But he stopped, he didn’t have a drink at all- that I knew about.”

It wasn’t exactly new information to Peter. And he knew why Sam was drinking, or at least why he had started. But, why now? Was it just a fun thing for him to do? He hoped that was all it was, and not a sign of something deeper. But again he recalled his conversation with Sam from the previous week.

“Carrie, I don’t know if he’s been drinking here or not. Shit, I have no idea where he go it to begin with.

“I thought you were friends? Have you noticed anything? When he was drinking back home he would just disappear...I’d find him out in the desert or something with a bottle…”

Shit. “He’s been distant all year- since he got back from Arizona. We...haven’t been on the best of terms the last few months either…”

“Look, I’m only in town for a few more days...I’m just sort of tagging along on my mom’s business trip because it coincided with my school’s spring break. I’ve tried to spend as much time with him while I’ve been here, but he’s been very mopey…”

Peter frowned, “Didn’t he say anything?”

Carrie gave him a puzzled look. “About what?”

“We’ve been sort of fighting...and I was an ass about it when he tried to apologize….”

To his surprise Carrie smiled, “He mentioned something.” Peter heard the bathroom door open again. ““I’ll wait in here if you want to talk in private. Maybe he will be more open?”

Peter nodded and grabbed some snacks. “Would you mind taking the pizza out?”

“Sure.”

Peter’s legs were heavy as he walked back into the living room. Sam was sitting in the plush chair again, typing away on his phone. His jaw gave an involuntary twitch at the thought of Sam texting with Casper. On the far side of the room, next to the stairs, was the flask. Peter walked over and picked it up. It must have been thrown when Sam and Carrie were shouting at eachother.

He walked around the chair and stopped in front of Sam. “Here.” He tossed a snack bar onto Sam’s lap. “It’s a protein bar. It will help prevent a hangover.”

“I’m not drunk.” Sam didn’t look up from his phone.

Peter sighed and took a seat on the couch, staring at the flask in his hands. He still had so many questions, and he intended to get to the root of Sam’s problems. But before he could, he owed Sam a heartfelt apology.

"Sam, I'm sorry I've been avoiding you." Sam looked up when he started to speak. "You didn’t deserve the way I treated you." Sam looked like he wanted to say something so Peter paused.

"No, you were right. And I deserved it. All of it. I sucker punched you, I yelled at you...I..." Sam cut himself off and looked down at his lap.

Sam sounded so dejected, so lost. Peter’s heart constricted, he hadn’t stopped to think how his actions were affecting Sam.

Peter quickly got off the couch, leaving the flask on the cushion, and kneeled in front of Sam. Taking his clammy hands in his own, Peter began to apologize. And Peter found once he started, it poured out of him.

"Sam...Sam, look at me." Peter knew he was close to tears, but he didn't care. Sam had seen him cry once, what was a second time? He needed Sam to look into his eyes and see he was telling the truth.

Sam slowly raised his head and met Peter’s gaze. His eyes were bloodshot and his face contorted like the movement caused him physical pain.

Peter opened his mouth, and once he started the words kept tumbling out. "Sam, you're my friend. And we fight, a lot, but that's just us, okay? Because we make up, and go back to normal and then we bicker, and, and, it's just us." He stook a shaky breath, " And I fucked up, and didn't want to forgive you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I pushed you away again. I let my own insecurities get in the way. And I don't care if we keep fighting, and stop talking occasionally, because we always fix it. Right?"

Peter stared into Sam's eyes. He knew some tears had escaped and were rolling down his face, but he didn't bother to wipe them away. Because Sam was in front of him, and he was so close, and he had tears in his eyes too.

Peter gave Sam's hands a light squeeze. "I'm sorry I broke our routine." He smiled up at Sam. "Shit, it's only been a week and I miss you so much." Saying that out loud was liberating. Peter knew it was such an understatement of what he felt, yet Sam seemed to understand.

"I'm sorry I tried to break your jaw." And Sam squeezed his hands back with a small smile. "And...I'm sorry for being such an asshole to you." Sam bit his bottom lip and glanced to the side. "I thought you betrayed me, that you didn't-"

Peter let go of Sam's hands and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. It was awkward, Sam was still sitting on the chair, but after a few heartbeats Peter felt Sam's arms snake around his waist.

Peter pulled back, but not away. "Please, never end our friendship like that again."

Sam pulled him back down into his arms and shook his head against Peter's shoulder. "Never, Pete. I'm so sorry." He let his head rest on Peter’s shoulder.

Peter swallowed at their closeness and debated about telling Sam about his _feelings_. He threw out the idea, Sam needed a friend, someone he trusted. Peter needed to be those before he could be more. He hoped he could earn Sam’s trust back and get the other teen to open up about his demons.

As Sam exhaled he could smell the alcohol again. With regret, Peter pulled out of the embrace and leaned back. He looked Sam over and sighed.

“Promise me you’ll stop drinking? At Least until you're 21? And even then-”

Sam snapped at him, “Let me live my life! If you don’t like how I live it, then stay out of it!”

"Sam, I just got done telling you I want to be your friend. There was an implied _forever_ in there too." Peter knew he was close to treading into the _feelings_ topic. Because, he did mean forever, and felt his heart race at the possibility. “I care, Sam. Carrie cares. Danny, Luke, Ava, MJ- they all care. None of us want to see you get hurt -or killed- because you were drunk or hungover.”

With a snort, Sam looked away. “You make it sound like I’m drinking everyday.”

“That’s how YOU made it sound, Sam.”

Silence settled between them like a wedge. Peter knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere with the topic that night. But, he did still have one more thing he needed to address.

“And- look, I’m sorry about interrupting you in the kitchen…” Peter blushed, remembering the face Sam had been making. He observed the red marks dotted across Sam’s neck and collarbone. They were beginning to darken into bruises.

Sam inhaled sharply and opened his mouth to undoubtedly yell. Peter cut him off.

“I shouldn’t have” He looked into Sam’s eyes, trying his best to convey how sorry he was. “I know you can take care of yourself, even without your helmet. I’m sorry I panicked.”

Sam snapped his mouth shut and studied Peters face.

“I’d do it again, though.” Peter surprised himself when the words tumbled out. At Sam’s frown he added, “He wasn’t respecting your boundaries.” _And he was touching you_ , Peter added to himself.

Sam let his gaze drop, but remained quiet. Peter took his hand and turned it so the number written in sharpie was visible. “I’ll make it up to you- for ruining your night. 34 days should be enough time for me to save up for a proper birthday gift. Just name what you want- or where you’d like to go.”

I felt right to be holding Sam’s hand, even in this platonic way.

“You don’t need to bribe me to forgive you.”

“Sooo, you forgive me?” It was so natural to slip back into their normal banter.

“Feh. I guess.”

Peter knew they still had a lot to work out. Even if Sam said he forgave him, Peter knew it would still take some time for them to return to normal. He looked at Sam, who was fumbling with the protein bar, and smiled.

Sam sniffed the bar and made a face. “This smells like cardboard.” He sniffed again, this time at the air. “Hey, is that pizza?”

In answer to his question Carrie entered the living room balancing three plates. “Pizza!”

The mood in the house lifted as they ate. Soon, Carrie and Sam were in a light hearted conversation about something Sam’s sister had done. Peter hung onto every word, every bit of information about Sam. He didn’t miss it when Sam slipped the flask back into his pocket, but didn’t call him out. He knew if he pushed too hard Sam would stop opening up.

Peter’s phone buzzed and he was shocked to see the time.

[12:43am] MJ: Everything okay? You never text me  
[12:43am] Peter: Yes. We’re fine. Sam is okay. Him and Carrie are staying with me tonight.  
[12:44am] MJ: Good. I’m coming over tomorrow. How is 1?

Peter knew he had his SHIELD evaluation at 11, but he figured he would be home by 1.

[12:44am] Peter: Sounds good.

He put his phone away and stretched with a yawn. There were nights he would patrol until dawn then go to school without a problem. But Peter Parker was exhausted. Emotionally drained. He bid Sam and Carrie good night and climbed the stairs to his room.

Tomorrow, he promised himself. Tomorrow he would sort through how to help Sam. He just hoped he hadn’t lost the best opportunity to confess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The next few chapters will be a bit more of a quicker pace with some action (which I need to get better at writing!) and some fluff. Would anyone mind if I throw in some more Ava/Danny fluff? 
> 
> I have a few more fics I'm working on and one will be up soon (another spideynova), and a parksborn that may turn into spideynova because REASONS.


	9. Sunday Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the helmet probably would heal the hickeys, but it didn't. Because reasons. 
> 
> Also, I love Black Canary’s therapist role in YJ- so I had her make a cameo, because why not?
> 
> Sorry if this is a little too close to crack, I reeled it in a lot, but some still bled through ahha. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around for this long ride!

For the first night in quite a while, Peter had no difficulties falling asleep. The events of the previous two days left him emotionally drained, and his body followed. As he drifted off, he thought again about Sam, thankful he was safe in his home where Peter could protect him. It was an abstract thought, him needing to protect Sam, but in his sleep deprived mind it made perfect sense.

He dreamed abstractly; swirls of colors and smells, mixed with Sam's voice, echoing through his mind. Usually when he dreamed he woke up exhausted, drained from the imagery his mind concocted. Yet, when he awoke Sunday morning, Peter felt well rested.

With a groan, Peter flipped over and slapped at his alarm clock until he finally found the button. He slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, stretching as he did so. Peter was mid yawn when he realized he wasn't alone in his room.

On the floor, next to his bed, was Sam. Or, more accurately, Nova. Sam was sprawled out on his floor, helmet secure on his head.

Soft snores drifted up to Peter's ears. Peter blinked, trying to decide if he was still sleeping

Sam had not had his helmet with him the previous night. So, where did it come from? Had Ava or Luke brought it for him? And why was he wearing it to sleep? He shook his head, he would just have to ask later.

Peter studied Sam more and realized he had no pillows or blankets to soften the hard floor. He briefly considered picking Sam up and tucking him into his bed, but quickly dismissed it. He didn't want to wake Sam, and seeing Sam in his bed...Peter didn't think he could handle that. He didn’t trust himself to keep their relationship strictly platonic friends. Which is exactly what he had just decided a mere few hours prior. He would earn Sam’s trust first; and it did hurt, knowing Sam didn’t trust him enough to open up about his personal troubles, but last night was a huge step in fixing it.

He gently lifted Sam's head and placed a pillow under it, then covered him with a Spider-Man blanket. Peter smiled, imagining Sam’s reaction to it.

After glancing at his clock he realized he had an hour to get to S.H.I.E.L.D. He opted for a quick shower before heading downstairs to grab breakfast. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Carrie was fast asleep on the couch. He blinked, having forgotten about her. Peter shrugged and grabbed a leftover slice of pizza from the fridge.

Not wanting to wake his house guests, he quickly grabbed his costume and left the house. He took his time, leisurely patrolling on his way to S.H.I.E.L.D.. Nothing ever happened on a Sunday morning unless a big baddie decided to show, and it didn't seem like that was going to happen. Peter frowned behind his mask, it had been almost too quiet lately. Even if the other hero teams were taking them on, he still would have heard about it.

Peter was ten minutes early for his session, but Coulson was waiting for him. He grumbled about spies as he walked towards him.

Next to Coulson was an agent he didn't recognize. "Peter, I don’t believe you have met Dinah. She is our lead counselor for all agents and heroes."

Peter took her offered hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Dinah will be conducting your session today. We have found that a new, impartial, party is best for these sorts of things."

Peter nodded, "Okay, let's get it over with."

Dinah smiled, and led him into a small, cozy office. Peter was familiar with psychologists; his Aunt had insisted he talk to one after the death of his parents, and again after Uncle Ben's death.

"So," Dinah began, "let's set some expectations. S.H.I.E.L.D. is not singling you, or anyone on your team, out. This is primarily a formality, but it does help ease the transition."

Peter nodded.

"I've looked over your charts, stop me if I get something wrong." She flipped a page of her notes. "You were having a hard time deciding what to do after school. Correct?"

"I was. I've decided to stay here in New York on a full scholarship."

"Good." She made a notation.

It continued for about a half hour; Dinah would ask a question, Peter would respond, and she would write. None of her questions seemed out of the ordinary, yet he had the impression she was learning more than he suspected. Peter wondered how Sam had fared, he wasn't the best at opening up, or sitting still for long periods of time. All of his thoughts lately seemed to converge on Sam. Could he follow his plan to just stay friends with Sam? With the way he was going, he doubted he could make it past a week before confessing. But, would that cause Sam to push away? To stop confiding in Peter? Was it a risk he was willing to take?

Dinah’s voice cut through his internal debate. "Well, I think I have all I need. Coulson should reach out to you with any new assignments, but we do agree you should focus on your studies for your first year."

"Yea...I'm not hanging up the Spidey suit."

"We don't expect you to. But, take it easy. You won't have your team to rely on anymore, and it can take some getting used to."

Peter frowned. "We may not be a formal S.H.I.E.L.D. team anymore, but we can still work together. We're friends."

"Perhaps you should talk to them."

Her reply was awfully cryptic and it did not sit well with him. “What do you mean?”

“I am sure they have all made plans of their own, just as you have. You should not assume their paths will stay aligned with yours. They may cross, but they may not. This is a hard transition for young heroes to make. Do not expect the change to be a small one.”

Well, that totally cleared that up. Peter pulled a face and left, shaking her hand on the way out.

Coulson was waiting for him with a stack of papers.

Peter eyed the stack, "Nope. No paperwork. Nuh uh."

"This isn’t for you.” He smiled at Peter.

“So, what now?”

“Now, you focus on graduating. We will notify you if anything requires your attention, but I highly suggest focusing on your finals. And don’t go looking for trouble.” He paused, giving Peter a hard stare. “The training facilities will continue to be open for you.”

Peter gave him a mock salute on his way out, “See you at school.”

* * *

 

His head was still spinning when he arrived home. He knew he should definitely, absolutely, focus on college the next few years. But, that fact did nothing to lessen the massive hole in his life hanging up his suit would create.  
Peter walked into his living room and blinked. MJ was sitting on the couch, talking away with Carrie. She was, he checked his watch, an hour early. Of course she was.

"Oh, hey Peter. We thought you were still asleep."

"No, I had to run an errand for Aunt May." They hadn’t been upstairs then, so at least he didn't need to worry about them seeing Sam with his helmet. Speaking of Sam. "I'll go wake up bucket head."

Carrie called after him as he walked up the stairs, "Throw cold water on him!"

"Let him sleep!" M.J. called after.

He pretended not to hear either of them and threw open his bedroom door. "Sam, wake u-"

He stopped mid sentence. Apparently Sam had woken up at some point while he was gone and crawled on to Peter's bed. He had taken off his helmet and was holding it to his chest. Peter smiled at the soft snores coming from his friend and closed the door softly behind him before crossing the room.

Peter stopped at the side of the bed and watched Sam. Something exploded in his chest, a sweet and painful reminder that Sam would probably never want him. He shook the thoughts away before they had time to manifest further. He gently sat on the edge of the bed and peered down at Sam. It was the most at peace he had see him in a long time, and Peter didn’t want to be the one to ruin it.

Before he could register his actions, Peter leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Sam’s temple. He sighed, desperate for more. Peter closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. As much as he wanted to let him sleep, he knew the girls would get impatient. He gently placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and gave a light shake.

“Sam.” His voice was barely above a whisper. He wanted the moment to last forever. “Sam, hey.” He shook his shoulder a little harder. “Wake up.”

Sam began to stir and let out a disgruntled groan.

“Sam, wake up.” Peter wondered what time they went to bed, Sam was never quite this hard to wake up.

“Fi-vw m’r min’ts.” He rolled away from Peter and held his helmet tighter.

“Sam, how is that comfortable?” He sighed. “Hey. Buckethead. The girls are waiting downstairs.”  
With Sam's new position, he could see the hickeys on his neck. Another reminder. He glanced at the helmet, shouldn't it have healed them? He grabbed Sam’s shoulder and rolled him back over. Sam let go of his helmet as he rolled, and blinked up at Peter.

Peter smiled down. “Hey.”

Sam blinked again, trying to wake up.

Peter smirked. “So, you enjoy sleeping in my bed?” He carefully phrased it so Sam wouldn’t necessarily take it for flirting. But he was definitely flirting, and he needed to reinstall the filter between his brain and mouth- something he had put off for way too long now that he thought about it.

Sam sprung up and looked around. “Uh. Dude. Shit. I-” He looked at Peter with panicked eyes. “I thought I fell asleep on the floor. I didn’t mean- I’m sorry.” He grabbed his helmet and jumped off the bed. “I didn’t do anything weird? Did I?” He wasn’t looking at Peter.

Peter walked around Sam so they were facing eachother. “It’s okay. You were asleep on the floor when I left this morning.” He put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Besides, there is nothing ‘weird’ you could do that would bother me at this point.”

Sam looked away.

“Hey.” Peter cupped his chin and nudged him to look at him. “Are you okay?”

Sam didn’t answer at first. He closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths. “Yea.” He reached up and grabbed Peter’s hand and pulled it away from his face. “I’m just…” He took a half step back. “I’m sorry about last night.”

Having Sam pull away like that hurt, but Peter didn’t mention it. If Sam needed space, he would give it to him. “Me too.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. But hey, the helmet prevented me from having a hangover, so I've got that going for me."

“Sam.” Peter shook his head. “You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever is bothering you- you don’t need to keep it bottled up. I’m here for you. I just want to make sure you know that.”

Sam opened his mouth to reply and shut it with a snap. He shook his head. “Peter, I-”

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Carrie’s voice drifted through the door. “Stop making out and get your asses downstairs.”

Sam jumped and shouted at the door. “Not funny Carrie!” His face was a dark red and Peter knew his face was probably close to the same color.

Carrie laughed and opened the door. “Well, I figured I’d check. You’ve had a problem keeping your hands to yourself lately.”

Peter looked over at Sam with wide eyes. Was Casper not an isolated incident?

Sam didn't look at him, his attention focused on Carrie. "Well, you don't have to worry about me and Parker." What? Peter felt like a bucket of ice water had suddenly been tipped over his head. Sam shrugged, oblivious Peter’s turmoil . “We’ll be down in a few.”

Peter watched as Carrie looked his direction, raised an eyebrow, and shrugged. “Well, hurry. M.J. and I made plans to go shopping.”

Sam waved his arms. “What? I thought we were going to go do touristy stuff!”

Carrie huffed. “That was before you left me stranded last night.” She turned on her heel and slammed the door behind her.

Sam’s shoulders sagged and he turned to Peter with a pout. “M.J. and Carrie bonded. I’m doomed.”

Peter wanted to ask Sam what he meant about Carrie not needing to worry about them making out. He wanted to ask how many random people he had made out with since Carrie was visiting. He wanted to ask just why he thought he was ‘doomed’.

But there was a more pressing question that trumped all of his teenage drama.

“Sam?” He tried to keep his voice level, to not let his emotions show. “Um. Does Carrie, uh, know?”

He watched as Sam blushed deeply once more. “Wh-Wha?”

Peter motioned towards Sam’s hand that was still holding his Nova helmet.

“Oh.” Sam visibly relaxed. “Yea. She’s known since almost the beginning.” He lifted the helmet and stared at it. “She brought it for me last night.”

Peter wasn’t sure if he should relax or not. He stared hard at Sam and crossed his arms.

Sam looked up when he realized Peter was staring at him. He gave Peter sheepish look and shrugged. “You can trust her. She won’t go blab.”

Peter ran a hand through his hair. “Sam. She knows your identity, so she probably guessed mine already. And probably thinks ALL of your friends here are supers- including MJ!”

Sam looked away. “She knows MJ isn’t”

“Insinuating she KNEW about us before. Shit Sam.”

“Peter I-”

“NO. Sam. Don’t make excuses! They weren't your secrets to tell!”

Sam opened his mouth but Peter cut him off.

“You can tell the others yourself.” He took a calming breath, trying to sooth the rage building inside him.

In front of him Sam was hugging his helmet to his chest. Peter sighed, they had just made up and in less that 24 hours he was yelling at Sam again.

Sam turned and set his helmet on Peter’s desk. “I’m sorry.”

“I know Sam. But we need to talk about it- with everyone.” He walked forward until he was standing behind Sam and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey,” he tugged Sam’s shoulder until he turned around and was facing him. His expression softened when he saw Sam’s wary face. “Remember what we talked about last night?”

Sam blinked up at him; Peter was struck by how small Sam seemed in that moment. Once again, he wanted nothing more than to pull Sam to his chest and whisper reassurances in his ear.

“I keep messing shit up, don’t I?” Sam’s voice was just above a whisper.

“We all do. I’m sure you have many of mine well documented on your phone.” He gave Sam what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Sam did what Peter didn’t have the courage to. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Peter and held him tight. Peter was quick to return the embrace. After a few moments he felt Sam begin to shake. He pulled away from the embrace, prepared to wipe away Sam’s tears. But he was greeted by a bright smile, and he realized Sam was not crying, he was laughing.

It was contagious and he found he was smiling down at Sam, who still had his arms wrapped around him. “What is so funny?”

Sam beamed up at him. “We fight. Then we make up. And I think that may be the fastest yet."

Peter chucked, wrapping his arms back around Sam and putting his chin on top of his head. He could have stayed there forever; Sam was safely in his arms, they were laughing together, and he had never been more content. It was so intimate a moment, so delicate that any wrong word or movement would rip it away from him. And Peter knew then he had to be honest with Sam. Moments like this were unfair to both of them if he wasn’t open about his feelings.

He sighed into Sam hair. "Sam, now might not be the best time, but there is something I've wanted to talk to you about for a while now." He cringed, though Sam couldn't see it. His courage was back, but he knew he was going to keep rambling through the whole thing.

He felt Sam stop laughing and slump against his shoulder. "Yea?" And he sounded so sad, so resigned to another lecture, and that reinforced Peter’s determination to tell him how he felt. Because Sam didn't deserve to think he always needed to be on the defensive.

"I, uh, I'm, for a while I've, " Peter pulled his head back, he wanted to see Sam’s reaction. Sam lifted his head from his shoulder and looked at Peter with a guarded expression.

Peter leaned forward, resting his forehead on Sam’s. "Sam I-"

The door flew open and Carrie’s voice filled the room. "Stop making out and get your asses downstairs!" She paused, "Oh. Uh, sorry guys. I was kidding. Uh..."

Sam was the first to recover and all but jumped out of Peter’s arms.

"...have fun." Carrie waved her hand at them and disappeared down the stairs.

Peter immediately felt the loss of Sam’s warmth. He was about to reach out and pull Sam back to him when Sam turned around.

"We should go down. Don't want to give them the wrong impression." He didn't wait for Peter's response and walked out of the room.

"Well, shit." Peter ran a hand through his hair. He had been so close. Sam hadn’t minded the contact, heck, he was the one to initiate it. So, why had he jumped away so quickly? Like he was embarrassed. Had he sounded upset?

Peter replayed their conversation as he crossed the room and started down the stairs. He was halfway down when something clicked. His heart started racing again and he leaned on the railing for support. Did Sam like him too? Was that why he seemed so upset? He thought Peter only viewed him as a friend. That had to be it. He had been so close to fixing that misconception. With renewed courage Peter continued down the stairs. He swore that at first opportunity he had he would tell Sam...Well, finish telling Sam. And he made a mental note to make sure Carrie was far, far away.

Peter walked into the living room with a crooked smile, happier than he had been in a long while. There was a spark of hope and he was going to cling to it until proven wrong.

MJ was on the couch, Carrie and Sam sitting to both sides. Her laptop was open on the coffee table, though he couldn’t see the screen. Carrie and MJ both looked up as he entered the room, but Sam kept his eyes on the laptop.

"Heya Pete." MJ gave him a small wave and a raised eyebrow that promised she was going to corner him later.

Carrie just stared at him as if she was trying to figure him out. He couldn't help the frown that formed. She had, after all, interrupted his confession twice in less than a day. He hoped it was unintentional. Knowing that she was aware of his alter ego was a little off putting too. But, if Sam trusted her, he would make the effort to trust her as well

"Just stand behind the couch so you can see too." MJ motioned to the laptop.

Peter shrugged and did what he was told. "So, what is so important that you couldn’t just tell me?"

"I want you guys to watch and tell me what you think. I don't want to tell you my thoughts yet."

Well, that sounded ominous. "Get on with it then..." Peter leaned over the couch, purposely leaning close to Sam. The shorter teen didn't acknowledge his proximity, but Peter did notice a slight stiffness in his shoulders.

MJ hit play on the video and Peter instantly recognized it. It was from the previous weekend when MJ decided to play reporter again. He searched through his memories, but couldn’t think of a single interesting thing that happened that night. He tried to get Sam’s attention, to see if he might know, but Sam leaned forward.

The video started with M.J. walking towards the building and him, followed by Sam, intercepting her.

_“I am sorry, miss. This is an active...uh...operation. You need to step away."_

Peter cringed at his lack of improve skills when it came to lying to his friends.

_"Oh, so there is something going on! I knew I was on the right track! Yes! You are not stopping me! I need my story, Spiderman."_

_"What if we take your camera with us?_

He watched as Sam, as Nova, took a step closer to him and MJ.

_"Yes! That would be rad!"_

The camera was passed to Peter and him and Sam entered the building. It was quiet, the only sound coming from their feet on the concrete. Room after room, floor after floor, all past with no trouble. A homeless man sat in the corner of one room, wrapped in blankets. The heroes left him and continued.

_After several boring minutes, Peter passed the camera to Nova and they continued. The camera panned around more with Nova holding it. And it focused on Spider-Man more often than anything because he was walking in front of Nova._

_“So...can we talk once we’re done here?”_

_Spider-Man snorted from ahead of him. “Stay on task.”_

_The camera fell a few inches. “Look, about yesterday…” His voice was barely a whisper._

_“Keep focused, Nova.” The reply was gruff._

_"Do you wanna grab some pizza after?" The camera lifted slightly again and no longer panned around._

_"What is that light up there?"_

_"Come on, webs, I'm trying." The camera dropped and showed the ground. Nova stopped walking for a moment before catching up to Spider-Man._

Peter hadn’t realized Sam had stopped that night, he hadn’t picked up the obvious sorrow in his voice either. The memory of slamming the door in his face bubbled up and he felt like he was going to be sick all over again.

_The camera showed Spider-Man entering the last building and followed his movements as he searched for a hidden entrance. “All clear?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Okay. Let’s get the camera back to...the reporter. There is nothing for us here.”_

_“Dude, can we talk now?”_

_“I don’t want to talk now. Or ever. I’m done.”_

The video lingered on the ground then cut off. Peter dropped his head into his hands. He didn’t want to watch that. During the video, Sam pulled further away and Peter wanted to crawl into a hole.

The girls were quiet. He glanced over at Carrie, who was staring at the paused video. And shit. She knew. Carrie knew Sam was Nova. She knew Peter was Spider-Man. Goosebumps prickled his skin. What conclusion would she draw from it?

He froze when Carried glanced up at him. She looked to Sam next. Peter couldn't read her expression and prepared for the worst.

“So.” MJ sat back into the cushion. “Thoughts?”

Peter held his breath.

Carried leaned forward and rewound the video. “Well,” She paused it again. It was when the camera had been passed to Nova. “I’m getting the vibe that Nova has a thing for Spider-Man’s ass.” She started laughing as she hit play.

How did he not noticed it the first play through? On the screen, per Nova’s direction, was Peter’s ass. Centered on the screen. Through several rooms. The camera would scan the room, then focus back on Peter’s rear.

He chanced a glance at Sam and found him trying sink into his cushion. Peter didn’t know what to do with the new information. It didn’t mean Sam had been watching his rear as they walked, it might have just been how the camera fell. He smiled to himself, he wanted to believe Sam had subconsciously been checking him out.

Carrie paused the video. “So, exhibit A.”

MJ giggled.

Sam coughed. “It could have just been how the camera settled. Stop fangirling. I have to hear about your stupid Spider-Man crush, like, at least once a day.”

MJ giggled. “And bless Nova for this gift.” If MJ ever found out he was Spider-Man, Peter was going to rub this conversation in her face. She sighed, “But I think they are -or were- a couple.” She replayed the parts where they talked- or Nova begged and Spider-Man rebuked.

Carrie hummed. “Sounds more like the bickering of two friends.” Peter relaxed. Below him Sam let out a breath. “Yep. Two bickering friends who have the hots for each other.”

MJ laughed. “I think this is a bit one sided.”

Peter tried to get Sam’s attention so they could make a quick retreat before the conversation got even more embarrassing. But Sam was still refusing to look up at him.

“Are you going to publish this?” Oh no…

“No. I don’t think JJJ needs any more ammo.” Whew.

Sam leaned forward. “Wait. What was that?” He hit rewind and played back a clip. It was right after Peter asked, _"What is that light up there?"_. And, Peter felt like the biggest idiot. Neither of them were in the right state of mind that night for a mission, let alone one requiring observational skills.

Peter watched the small blip on the screen. It was small, and was gone in a blink. Sam replayed it again, this time pausing the video when the light appeared. Peter knew exactly what it was. By the tenseness in Sam’s shoulders, he knew too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! 
> 
> You can probably guess where this is going next chapter ;)


	10. Blow up in your face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support! Waking up to kudos and comments is amazing and if I could, I'd give you all a huge hug!
> 
> I apologize for the delay on this chapter. I couldn't decide just where to go with it, and kept procrastinating...then I looked at the date and I was like uh-oh. At first, this was a very short chapter (like 2k), but when I went back and edited this morning I realized I left some things out. 
> 
> This is a bit of a divergence from the normal drama/angst, but we will get back to it in full swing soon enough :)

____

Walking through the hallways of the abandoned buildings did nothing to silence the guilt which settled in Peter’s gut. The memories from the night he was there with Sam were fresh, thanks to the video. Despite his best efforts to stay focused, he repeated the events of that night over and over. He wondered, not for the first time, if he had apologized enough for slamming the door in Sam’s face. It was something he would need to address with Sam when their investigation was over. Along with Sam’s ‘ _camera wor_ k’- because feeling guilty or not, he would not let Sam get away without at least a good joke. There was also the possibility of it meaning _more_  than careless camera work, as MJ seemed to believe. And that did fit in with his revelation earlier that morning. Maybe Sam _did_  like him too, and he was worrying over nothing.

So far their search of the buildings turned up nothing. After reviewing the layout of the complex, they decided to split up to cover the first set of buildings, then converge on the one where they saw the light. Gathering the team had not taken long. Everyone seemed to be itching for a fight, and expressed their need for some action.

After M.J. and Carrie left his house, Peter and Sam wasted no time contacting the team and showing them the screenshot- _carefully_   _avoiding_  showing the video. It was embarrassing enough to watch it once.

After showing them the screenshot Ava had crossed her arms. “That looks a lot like…” She trailed off and raised her eyebrow at Peter. “How did you _miss_  this.”

How did he miss it? He was so far up his backside with his anger at Sam he hadn’t been paying attention. How could he miss one of Doctor Octopus's bots?

He reached the end of the hallway and took the stairs to the next level. Upstairs, Power Man was doing the same- but heading down. Eventually they would meet somewhere around the middle and head to regroup with the others. As Peter inspected the next floor he let his mind wander back to their earlier conversation.

After Ava called Peter out for being careless, Sam came to his defense. He _still_  was refusing to meet Peter’s eyes, and had carefully positioned himself far away from Peter. “We weren't expecting anything- so we didn’t pay much attention. Peter just wanted to make sure M.J. didn’t go in the buildings in case there were junkies or something.” It surprised Peter, given what they had just watched. He expected Sam to be upset all over again.

“Well,” Came Danny’s calm voice, “Arguing will not gain us the knowledge we seek. We should return to the location and investigate; perhaps there will still be a clue as to what is going on.”

“I read over the article M.J. wrote about the building project.” Peter pulled it up on his screen. “The company who bought the land has not even set a construction date yet. It is supposed to be a shopping center, the blueprints are already made up...it looks official, but the whole project has been stagnant for months.”

“So, there is a chance it is still being used as a base by Doc Oc?”

“Unless you and Peter spooked them, yea.”

Luke crossed his arms. “It’s our best lead. It has been too quiet lately- we should have expected something to be going on.”

Peter pulled himself back to the present to inspect a room for any fake walls. It was truly a formality; if there was _anything_ it was more likely to be on the ground floor. Again, nothing of interest. He continued on to the next room and repeated the process. Nothing. Not even a squatter.

“Wait…” Peter stopped in the hallway and looked around. “Hey,” He said into the comm. “Has anyone ran into any squatters or anything?”

The replies all came back negative. Peter drew his eyebrows together. He couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong.

Sam’s voice drifted over the comm. “There were some last time. No police activity to push them out.”

“So what did?” Peter didn't like the implications.

Luke entered the floor he was on and joined Peter in the hallway. “This building is clear. Webs and I are heading to the rendezvous.”

They quickly made their way to the top of the last building. The other three soon joined them. Always the leader, Peter stepped up. He forced his guilt about Sam away and squared his shoulders. “We follow the plan. Stick together- we go floor by floor and do not move down until we are all ready.”

The first floors flew past. They were all open layout with few walls. Floor by floor past without incident. Sam was still keeping a distance between them even as they worked. Peter hoped it was only the embarrassment about the video, and not any rekindled resentment.

Half way down the building Sam stopped. The rest of the team was already at the stairs, ready to move down.

“Nova?” Ava called out.

“Hold...Hold on.” He turned around, looking at the open space. “This wasn’t like this. The floors above were, but...look.” He pointed to a section of wall. “This was all cubicles before, it was a damn maze." He touched the wall, "Is that a scorch mark?”

His memory was fuzzy from that night, but Peter did distantly remember this floor -and the one above it- being full of office cubicles. Luke and Danny took a closer look at the wall.

“It does look like someone quickly disassembled the walls- like they ripped them out where they could and blasted the metal connections where they couldn't…”

Ava crossed her arms. “So, what? Someone must be stealing the office furniture...or the company that owns the buildings is gutting it before demolition.”

The research didn’t have any information about a scheduled demolition, or any plans to gut the buildings. It had been radio silent from the new owners. Peter frowned behind his mask. “Either junkies are stealing, or whoever is using-or was using- this build as a base needed raw materials.” Materials for what? The implications were not good.

They stuck closer as they moved down. The rest of the floors were the same. Gutted of all furniture, appliances, and cubicle walls. While he wasn’t positive the middle floors had not already been bare, Peter was positive the lower floors had been filled with junk. It was eerie to see it empty just a week later- with no record of anyone coming in or out of the building.

The lack of furniture made their inspection go quicker than expected. Once at the ground floor the team searched for a hidden door, or a false wall. Anything which would lead to a baddie’s lair.

“This is hopeless.” Sam kicked at the wall. “There is nothing here. That damn robot must have just been passing through or something.”

Peter rested his forehead against the wall in defeat. “What a waste.”

Ava walked up behind them and tapped them both on the shoulder. “If you two are done being overly dramatic...I think I found something.”

She led them around the corner to where Luke and Danny were inspecting marks on the ground. It was faint, but two skid lines lead to the elevator. “The marks are fresh.”

“Well, I guess they dragged the stuff from upstairs through the elevator?” Sam shrugged. “Doesn’t help us any.”

“That means the elevator works.” Peter walked forward and hit the button. Nothing happened. “Or not." The power had been shut off for months.

Luke stepped up. “Then, lets see what’s in the elevator?”

Peter wanted to slap himself. How did they not think to check there? Without much effort, Luke pulled the doors to the elevator shaft open. The opening was dark, but with Nova's light, they could make out a tunnel going down.

"It looks like someone dug out the bottom of the elevator." Danny kneeled down, running a hand along where the shaft should end. "I guess we found the entrance."

Sam shrugged, "Then lets get moving. It's past dinner time and I'm starving."

Peter grabbed his elbow, "I'm going down first. You're too loud and bright. I'll let you know if there's anything down there." With practiced ease, he secured his webbing to the sides of the shaft and repelled down. His flashlight was able to give him enough light to see with, but was also dim enough to be stealthy. Not that stealth mattered much, the noise from forcing open the elevator doors was probably enough to alert whoever was down there.

The sides of the tunnel were roughly carved, signs of it being dug in a hurry and without much equipment. When he finally reached the bottom he cut the end of the webbing, leaving it dangle for the others to use.

“I’m at the bottom,” Peter whispered into his comm. “No signs of activity, I didn’t see any surveillance equipment on the way down.” He turned in a circle, running his hand along the dirt walls. “The tunnel continues in just one direction from here. I don’t hear anything. My light is too dim to see down the tunnel.”

The others made their way down the shaft. Sam arrived first, the glow of the Nova force illuminating the tunnel further than Peter’s flashlight.

“That bucket is good for something at least.”

“Whatever webs. You’ll never be this cool.” Sam focused and the nova force grew brighter.

“You keep telling yourself that, glow stick.” It was nice to be back to their normal banter. Peter was about to say as much when Ava landed next to him. Luke and Danny were close behind.

Without much preamble, they continued down the tunnel. It was dug inconsistently; in some places there was enough room for them to walk shoulder to shoulder, and in others barely two people could walk side by side.

Peter kept a close eye on Sam, worried about a repeat of their last few team missions. His habit of running in head first was worse than ever. The way Sam continued to avoid walking next to him didn’t go unnoticed. And, by the way Ava looked between them, Peter was certain she noticed too. Now that he thought about it, she had been giving them both looks all afternoon.

In the wider parts of the tunnel they occasionally found parts of the furniture from the buildings above.

“What would they need this for?” Sam kicked at a desk leg.

“Hopefully we’ll get an answer soon.” Peter didn’t stop to ponder over the bits of wood.

The tunnel began to gradually slope downwards. At a point Peter estimated was in the middle of the complex above them, the tunnel split in two directions. If his memory was correct they each led to under the smaller buildings. The team stood at the fork, one sloped upwards, the other steeply down.

Peter crossed his arms. Splitting up was their best choice, but he didn’t like it. He glanced over to Sam. His emotions got in the way the first time they were here, he didn’t want a repeat.

“Okay. We split up. White Tiger, Power Man, and Nova, take the path heading up. Iron Fist and I will take the one going down.”

Sam shifted his stance. “The tunnel going down will probably be more dangerous, I should go with you and Danny.”

Peter growled. “No. That path,” He gestured towards the one going up, “Has the highest chance of an encounter. If they know we are here, they will come from that building.” He didn’t believe that for one second, but it seemed to calm Sam. “It should also be the shortest. Get to the end, then head back to meet up with us.”

He pulled Nova back as White Tiger and Power Man began to ascend through the tunnel. "Nova, be careful. Please." He swallowed around the lump in his throat. Now wasn't the time, _certainly_  not the place. "Please don’t rush into anything alone, okay? I need you back in one piece."

He glanced up, White Tiger and Power Man were waiting a few feet away.

Sam pulled his shoulder out of Peter’s grip. He kept his voice low, "I know how to handle myself, you don't need to baby me."

Peter let him go. He would just have to hope Sam wasn’t going to hold his worrying against him. He turned to join Danny, who was standing out of earshot. 

The tunnel Peter and Danny headed down evened out after a few hundred feet. Without Sam’s Nova force, it was difficult to see. Danny’s flashlight was brighter than his own, but the lack of light made their progress slow. Next to him, Danny paused.

“Danny?” Peter stopped as well.

Danny shook his head. “I thought I heard something, but it was probably just an echo from the others.”

From then Peter was more on edge. There was no way sound from the others would travel this far down the dirt tunnel. They continued on, inspecting the walls for hidden offshoots as they went.

“Well.” They both stopped. “Guess that’s it?” The tunnel suddenly ended. No equipment was nearby. “Either they gave up, or whoever is behind this doesn’t need tools to dig out these tunnels.”

Danny stepped up, patting the dirt walls with his hands. “I don’t see any signs of a false wall.” He stepped back. “We should regroup with the others quickly.”

They turned around to begin the trudge back up. In the distance, just beyond the reach of their light, Peter could make out a figure. Danny saw it too and assumed a fighting stance. They both dropped their flashlights to the ground.

The figure stepped closer, revealing a huge smirk. “Sorry, can’t let you go to your little friends.”

“Scorpion,” Danny growled. “You do not need to give into hate. Your destiny can be so much more.”

In response Scorpion lunged forward, his suit’s tail whipping behind him. Peter jumped away from his swing and latched onto the wall. Scorpion redirected his momentum to swing his razor sharp tail at Danny, who easily dodged the attack. Danny dropped down, swinging his legs out to challenge Scorpion’s balance.

Peter watched as they exchanged blow for blow. After a few exchanges, Danny landed a kick, sending Scorpion stumbling backwards. Peter used the opening to web his feet together, then he swung from webbing on the ceiling to kick into Scorpion’s back. He landed both feet between his shoulder blades and spring boarded away.

Scorpion groaned and used his tail to cut the webbing from his feet. Danny used the distraction to aim a punch at his face. His arm was caught mid swing and he was thrown to the ground. Peter webbed onto Scorpion’s fist as he went to swing at the prone warrior. He dug his heels into the dirt, buying Danny enough time to get back to his feet.

Their attacker launched himself away from Danny, focusing on Peter. His attack landed Peter on his back. Peter was pulled up violently, and thrown into the dirt wall. He stumbled down, his head hazy from the blow. A piercing pain shot through his arm, he looked down to see Scorpion pulling his tail away from his arm.

Peter gripped his arm to stop the bleeding. He watched as Scorpion raised his tail to strike again, and rolled away just in time. Danny grabbed onto the suit’s tail, hand glowing bright gold. He ripped at the seams, tearing the weapon off the suit.

Peter shot webbing into Scorpion's face at the same time he kicked at his knee. Scorpion retreated with a flip, landing away from both Iron Fist and Spider-Man. Peter used the opening to web his wound in a temporary binding.

Danny lunged, aiming several blows at Scorpion. Each was deflected, with no follow up blow from Scorpion. Peter launched an attack from above, but was deflected.

Danny maneuvered closer to Peter and whispered, "He is toying with us. This is not his style."

"He's trying keep us distracted." Peter swallowed, gritting his teeth together. If they were ambushed down here, he could only begin to imagine what awaited their teammates. He hoped Sam kept his cool...

With renewed vigor, they attacked in unison. Scorpion blocked and retreated several times. Without the tail weapon of his suit, they were able to overtake him. A few more well placed attacks from the both Peter and Danny, and Scorpion was face first in the dirt with his arms webbed behind his back.

Peter shot more webbing onto his arm to stabilize his temporary bandage and sunk to the ground panting. “When I said I wanted some action, I didn’t mean tight quarters combat with a kung fu master. I’d rather go up against the Doc. Much more satisfying.”

Danny nodded. He removed the rest of the power suit and Peter broke it into small chunks. “Web him to the ceiling. We need to catch up to the others.”

Peter didn’t need to be told twice and quickly secured him to the dirt ceiling. They retrieved their flashlights and turned to leave.

From his spot on the ceiling, Scorpion regained consciousness. He called down to them in a mocking tone, “You’re too late. They’ll be dead before you reach them!”

Peter and Danny both reached for their comms, only to find both were broken during the fight, something Peter was sure was not an accident.

They ran back the way they came. Peter was petrified. This was probably why everyone always went on about why dating a teammate was a bad choice. He wasn’t even _with_  Sam and he knew this was worse than before he developed feelings for him. A chill crawled down his spine; he couldn’t imagine how Danny and Ava dealt with it.

“Do not fret, Spider. Scorpion is just trying to get a rise from us. They can hold their own until we get there.”

How did Danny keep his voice so calm? Peter knew he was right. There was no use worrying about the unknown. They could only get there as fast as they could and hope the others were not ambushed and cornered by more than they could handle.

“We must have missed their surveillance. How else would they have found us so quickly?”

Danny hummed his agreement.

They reached the fork in the tunnels and turned down the other one. Danny put an arm out to slow Peter at the entrance to the tunnel. “What is that?”

Ahead was a flickering orange glow. Peter strained his eyes but could not make it out. “Lets find out.”

He took a step forward but was yanked backward by Danny. Before he could question the action, a deafening explosion shook the tunnels ahead of them. The force of the blast knocked them back. A second explosion rocked the tunnels, causing loose rocks to fall. The last thing Peter saw before blacking out was the bright glow of the fire down the tunnel.

When he came to, Danny was already standing. He was examining the walls, and Pete’s fuzzy mind took a moment to catch up. That wasn’t the wall. It had been the opening of the third tunnel.

Luke would be fine, his skin was impervious. But Sam and Ava? Peter wouldn’t let his mind go that direction. They needed to clear the rubble and make their way to them. Danny was already pulling rocks and dirt away from the entrance. Peter stood and joined him, webbing out the larger chunks.

Next to Peter, a large section fell away. Power Man fell from the rubble, coughing due to the dust.

“Power Man!” Peter and Danny rushed to help him stand back up. “What happened?”

Luke shook his head. “I was on my way back to find you two.” He brushed off his suit. “We found what looked to be Doc Oc’s lab. It was abandoned, but we didn’t want to proceed further.” He sat down, breathing hard. “There was interference on the comms, so I went to find you.”

Peter forced himself to ask. “Nova and White Tiger?”

“They...Shit.” Luke dropped his head into his hands. “I was almost to the entrance of the tunnel when the orange glow started. A few seconds later: BOOM.”

Peter started pulling at the rubble again. “We need to get down there!”

Luke shook his head. “It will take to long by ourselves. The whole tunnel caved in. We need to get out of here and contact S.H.I.E.L.D. My comm is busted, we need to get to the surface.”

Peter dropped the chunk of rock. The three heroes rushed out of the tunnel as quickly as they could. How would they even reach Fury in time? Sam and Ava needed them NOW. He refused to believe they were...He couldn’t finish the thought in his head, let alone voice it. He couldn’t lose Sam now. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I love you all so much!
> 
> If I missed anything please let me know :) I've been seeing some constancy/continuity issues, and I really need to go back and fix them. 
> 
> Also, whenever I get around to re-editing this whole thing, I'm going to change the scene in the kitchen. I like the idea of Peter being the drunk one better. It would make his actions make more sense and give SAM a reason to be pissed off at him. It wouldn't change muuuch, but enough for it to make a little more sense.


	11. Aftermath and Gossip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I'm back to weekly updates! I have much more time to write now!
> 
> I can see the light at the end of the tunnel on this fic! Woo! Thank you for sticking around!

Peter and Danny raced to the med bay of the Tricarrier, Luke followed close behind. The agent who picked them up already let them know White Tiger and Nova were _alive_ , but she couldn’t say beyond that. Knowing Sam and Ava were alive dislodged the knife in his heart. They had been surprised, and very, very relieved, to find the Tricarrier hovering when they emerged from the tunnels. The three of them had been quickly collected and brought aboard.

As they ran down the corridors, Peter played scenarios in his head. What would he do when they got the med bay? He imagined himself pulling Sam to him, kissing his stupid face, and telling him just how he felt. It had just been mere hours before that he almost did that exact thing. After everything with their mission, it seems like days ago. Had it really just been earlier that afternoon when he found Sam sleeping in his bed?

Of course, Fury was waiting for them outside the med bay. His ever present scowl seemed to have a deeper crease than usual. He blocked their entrance to the med bay, and Peter seriously considered forcing him to move.

“Just what,” Fury crossed his arms, “Part of ‘your team has been disbanded’ did you not understand?”

Peter took a step forward. “We were following up on-”

“Nuh-uh. You kids have any idea what you just did? You messed up an ongoing Avengers operation. And you got your teammates blown up in the process. Your asses are lucky we were monitoring the area or those two would have been toast. You were specifically told not to act without direct orders.”

Right, he must have tuned Fury out and missed that part of their meeting while he was too busy worrying over Sam hating him. Peter shifted his weight side to side as Fury lectured them. Next to him, Danny stood stiffly, completely _un zen_.

Luke put a hand on both their shoulders, then walked between them to stand at the front. “Sir, what is the status of Nova and White Tiger?” Peter sighed, at least one of them had their head on straight at the moment.

Fury stepped aside, extending his arm in invitation for them to enter the med bay. “I’ll yell at _all of you_  at once later.” He stormed off to do whatever it was Fury did.

Peter let Danny run ahead of him. He needed to see Sam, yes, but Ava needed Danny more. He watched as Ava stood from her chair to hug Danny. Peter wondered if Sam would ever look at him like that...Where was Sam? He glanced around the room.

Ava pulled back from Danny and Peter realized her arm was in a sling. She nodded her head towards one of the closed rooms. “Sam should be out shortly.” She smiled as Luke hugged her as well, then shrugged to give Peter permission as well. “This is a one time thing. Don’t think I’m relinquishing my personal space.”

Peter chuckled as he pulled away. “I like my limbs attached to my body too much to invade your space, Ava.”

“Pete, you should get your arm looked at.”

“Yea, Luke, I’ll grab the doc once they’re done with Sam.”

Danny sat in a chair to wait for Sam. He pulled Ava down to his lap and gingerly inspected her arm.

“It’s just burned. The doctor wants me to refrain from using it for a week, but it should heal with minimal scarring.”

Luke took a seat as well. “Spidey, you may as well sit. Staring at the door isn’t going to make him come out any faster.”

Peter turned away from the door and plopped down on the other side of Danny and Ava. He wanted to ask what happened, how they survived the explosion, but he held his tongue. He would wait for Sam. That was one thing he could do to improve Sam’s mood: _include_  him. Until Sam yelled at him about it, he hadn’t realized how much it meant to Sam. He wanted to be included, to have his opinions heard. And Peter felt like the worlds biggest ass for not realizing it sooner.

Next to him Danny was running his hand over Ava’s burn. The soft golden glow of his hand was soothing just to look at. Using his power to heal was something Danny was still training at, and Peter knew it took a lot out of him. When he pulled his hand away, Ava’s arm was almost completely healed. Danny slumped a bit in his chair, exhausted from the effort. Ava nuzzled into him with a sigh.

Peter rolled his eyes with a grin. “Get a room guys.”

Ava threw a middle finger in his direction without moving from her spot under Danny’s chin.

Luke chuckled. “So, Pete. Did you get the number for that girl at the party?”

Peter opened his mouth to retort but closed it at the sound of an indignant snort from in front of them.

Sam walked over to them, his helmet tucked under his arm. “Like Parker could get her number. She probably only danced with him on a dare.”

Right, Sam had seen that _kiss_. After all the events which happened after it, Peter completely forgot Sam witnessed that. He looked Sam over, finding not so much as a scratch on him. Any damage must have been healed by the helmet.

Ava raised an eyebrow, “What girl?” Peter stood up as Luke filled her and Danny in.

Sam nodded to Peter’s shoulder, “You should get that patched up.”

“No shit.” He hadn’t meant to snap at Sam. Why did his stupid mouth keep saying things his mind knew he would regret? Peter immediately took another step towards Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re alright.”

Peter relaxed at the feeling of Sam’s warmth under his hand, proof that he was still alive, still with him, he still had a chance, still had _time_.

Sam looked away. “Yea, well, I did what I could.”

“What happened? We were on our way to you when the tunnel blew…”

Danny’s voice drifted from behind him. “Perhaps, we should move our discussion somewhere more comfortable?

Peter nodded. “Yea. I’m going to get my arm patched up then I’ll meet you guys?”

As the others left Peter turned to follow the doctor. He knew his arm wouldn't take long to stitch up, he'd had far worse in the past. While the doctor worked, Peter fell back into his thoughts. It wasn’t the first time one of them almost died. He thought back to his first _experience_  with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Sam had nearly....but he didn't. At the time Peter didn’t think the cold dread was anything more than fear of losing a teammate and friend; he would have felt the same if it were anyone else, right? Yet, after experiencing that same cold, piercing, dread again, he wasn't sure. Because he was worried about Ava, absolutely, but it didn’t _crush_  him the same way.

Peter let his eyes close. Had his feelings for Sam started so far back? Why hadn’t he noticed sooner? Or, had it taken that last, huge fight, to really bring it into focus? Peter knew he was oblivious, but damn, that took it to a whole new level.

The doctor gave him the okay, and Peter made his way towards Danny’s room. He assumed that was where they went, it was the normal spot for talking about mission fuck ups. He didn’t rush, his limbs were heavy with the physical and emotional drain of the day. He counted on his fingers as he replayed his day: First his session with the shrink, then Sam in his bed, and a failed confession, then realizing Sam might like him too, then that video -and he almost hoped MJ threw his ass up online, because hellooo adoring fans-, then Sam almost died. He looked down at his hands, yeah, any day that went to his second hand was a doozie. And the day wasn’t over yet.

He didn’t bother knocking on Danny’s door. “Hey guys.” His voice betrayed how tired he truly was. He did a quick scan of the room for a place to sit. Ava was half asleep on the couch, Danny was in the chair to her right, And Luke was on the floor, leaning against the couch, and tapping away at his phone. That left Peter two options: take the second empty chair, or sit next to Sam on the small couch. Before that weekend, Peter would have taken the chair in a heartbeat. But he was no longer afraid of scaring Sam away by invading his personal space- he’d done that enough over the last 24 hours and Sam hadn’t seemed to mind. Well, except for when anyone (Carrie) saw them.

It wasn’t until he sat down that Peter remembered the two seater couch was called a ‘love seat’. And for good reason; it was impossible for two people to sit on it without touching each other in some way. Sam didn’t react when Peter’s arm brushed against his. Peter could have pulled it away, laid it across his lap, but he didn’t. He hadn’t realized how much he needed the connection to Sam, knowing he was alive, well, and next to him. To feel his warmth, to hear him breathing...

“-ter? Peter?”

Peter snapped his eyes over to Danny with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I’m tired, I feel like I could fall asleep anytime.” It wasn’t a lie, Peter shrugged internally.

Ava opened her eyes and looked over to him and Sam. She looked like she wanted to say something, but instead closed her eyes again.

Danny leaned over to run his fingers through her hair. “I was saying, I just finished filling them in on our fight with Scorpion. Sam and Ava were about to tell their tale.”

Luke looked up from his phone. “And, I guess Sam is it since Ava has abandoned us.”

“Shut up.” She tapped Luke’s head with her foot.

Sam fidgeted, causing his arm to move against Peter’s. A tingle traveled up his arm, through to his shoulder, then down his back. Peter hoped no one noticed his shiver. He tried to focus on Sam’s words, but his eyes were transfixed on his moving lips. Had they always looked so...kissable? Yea, Peter figured they always had and he was just too oblivious as usual. He managed to catch the important details of what Sam was saying: Doc Oc, trap, something about an air duct? To Peter, it didn’t matter how they escaped, only that they had, and with no lasting injuries. Besides, Fury had all but banned them from the investigation.

Sam finished telling the short version of his and Ava’s escape. Peter only realized because his lips were no longer moving and he was chewing on his bottom lip. Peter tried to meet his eyes, but Sam was looking at a point on the far wall. Peter glanced over to Danny, finding the blonde with his brows knit together.

“Sam,” Danny’s voice was soft. “Thank you. Your quick thinking saved both of you.”

Sam closed his eyes tightly. “I should have taken Luke’s advice and went back to find you two as soon as we found that lab. I-”

Peter carefully placed his hand on Sam’s knee. He waited for Sam to look up to him, then gave him a soft smile. “You did good, Sam. Stop doubting yourself. You did the best you could with the information you had.” He gave Sam’s knee a light squeeze. Comforting Sam was getting less awkward for him, and Sam didn’t seem to mind. “Sam, I’m glad you’re safe. We were so worried that you and Ava had-” He couldn’t even say his fear out loud.

Peter moved his hand off Sam’s knee and placed it in his lap. He sighed and looked away. He didn’t want to get all sappy in front of everyone. After the adrenaline from touching Sam subsided he felt his eyes grow heavy again. He gave a start when Sam purposefully bumped his shoulder into his.

“Thanks.” He wasn’t looked at Peter, but he did have a small smile on his face and Peter counted it as a win. Then Sam was fidgeting again, and biting at his lip, and Peter swore to any god listening he was going to just jump right on Sam if he didn’t stop it that moment!

“Sam, is something troubling you?” Danny, always perceptive, was looking at Sam with concern. The day was obviously wearing on him too, he was sagging into his chair.

“Maybe now isn’t the best time…”Sam looked to Ava, who was dozing quietly on the couch, then to Luke who was leaning against the couch with his eyes half closed.

Ava opened one eye. “Out with it, Sam. I’d like to go to bed.”

Peter guessed she wasn’t as asleep as he thought. Luke also perked up, immediately checking his phone. Ava nudged his head. “And who are you talking to?”

Luke fumbled with his phone. “Uh, just someone I met last night.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. He turned his attention to Sam. “So, whats up?”

Sam let out a deep sigh. “I, uh, think you all met Carrie?” He bit at his lip again.  
While everyone confirmed that yes, they met her, Peter was cringing to himself. He had wanted Sam to tell everyone, but now? Sam clearly was still worried about his performance on their mission. This was just going to hit him further. Peter wanted to take it back, go back in time and not yell at Sam about it.

“Well, she knows about, well, me.” He kicked the Nova helmet at his feet. “She has since, like, the beginning. And...”

“And she knows about us too?” Ava rolled her eyes. “I kinda figured. I mean, your girlfriend from Arizona, you’d have to have told her why you moved here right?”

“Right.” Sam looked at his hands. “I’m sorry, I should have tried harder to conceal your identities, but...”

Ava sat up. “But she figured it out once she met us in person?”

Sam nodded.

Ava stretched. “I like her. Smart, cute, obviously able to put up with your b.s. You two made a cute couple.”

Sam looked up to her with panicked eyes. “We’re just friends! I mean- we dated back in Arizona, but that was forever ago.”

Ava raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. “I’m going to bed.” She stood, walked the few feet to Danny’s bed and tucked under the covers.

“Ava!” Danny lept up and tugged at her arm. “You still need to shower. You’re getting my bed filthy!”

“Right,” Peter said, wanting to avoid any ensuing arguments. “I should get home too. It iiiisss a school night.” He didn’t want to leave. Sam was warm next to him. But, when Sam stood and grabbed his helmet, Peter gave in.

Sam was already halfway down the hallway when Peter left Danny’s room. Disappointment bloomed in his chest, he wanted to give Sam a hug goodnight, to tell him again he did a good job. To mend his self esteem. Peter didn’t chase after him, if Sam needed space he would let him have it.

When Peter arrived home he snuck through his window out of habit. Aunt May wouldn’t be back until the following night, but going through his front door just didn’t seem...right.

After a quick shower, Peter flopped onto his bed face first, exhausted and ready for sleep. He inhaled and discovered Sam’s cologne lingering on his pillow. Sam. He breathed in again, relaxing further into the mattress, a lopsided smile on his face. He sighed and flipped back over to his back. The moonlight reflected off of something on his desk.

It was Sam’s flask. He eased himself out of bed to make sure. Peter was torn between throwing it away and returning it. The item clearly had sentimental value to Sam, but Peter didn’t want to aide in his self destructive tendencies.

Peter left the flask on his desk and returned to his bed. He grabbed his phone off his nightstand. He hoped Sam was still awake.

[11:42pm] Peter: Hey  
[11:43pm] Sam: hey?  
[11:43pm] Peter: You left your dad’s flask in my room  
[11:50pm] Peter: Sam? Did you fall asleep?

Peter waited a few more minutes, but Sam didn’t respond back. He would deal with it tomorrow. He buried his head in his pillow, inhaling, and imagining it was Sam’s chest his head was resting on. Ah, Sam. He would be warmer, and wrap his arms around him. And he would talk so much it would be any wonder Peter would get any sleep at all. Then again, if it was _Sam_  his head was resting on, he wouldn’t want to fall asleep.

His sleep fogged mind searched his memories for signs of Sam feeling the same. Because, hadn’t Peter figured that? But...those could be coincidences. He could have been seeing something that wasn’t really there. His sleep fogged mind hated him, Peter decided. Because it whispered doubts to him. There was one he fell asleep to, which reverberated in his dreams: If Sam felt the same way, why had he not made a move?

* * *

* * *

 

The next morning, Peter was still drained- and mostly emotionally. He distantly remembered a dream where Sam did die in the explosion, and he was thankful his mind let him forget the details. As Peter walked up to the school, he noticed people staring at him. They would look away when he turned his head. Weird.

He forgot all about them when Sam materialized at his side. “Hey webs.” He sounded as drained as Peter felt.

“Morning sparky.” Peter stifled a yawn as they paused just outside the doors. He let his shoulder brush Sam’s. It was because of the crowded area, it had nothing to do with him needing to confirm Sam was still alive. And if he accidentally brushed his hand against Sam’s when someone pushed passed them? Oh well. It did take all of his willpower to not look at Sam’s neck. He hadn’t even tried to hide them with a collared shirt or _something_.

“Peter, I, uh…” Sam kicked the ground with a frown. “Thanks. For last night, I mean. And the one before that too…” He looked up to meet Peter’s eyes. “I’m just...glad we’re not fighting anymore.”

“Me too.” Peter realized he had leaned closer to Sam, but didn’t pull back. He could feel the heat radiating from Sam, he needed to feel Sam under his fingertips, to confirm he was still alive, _again_. He could have easily thrown an arm around Sam’s shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. Peter was having an internal debate about doing just that when Sam spoke again.

“So, uh. What was it you were going to tell me before Carrie interrupted?

“Now’s not the best time…” And it really was not. He wasn’t going to confess while standing in front of the school!

“Oh, right…” Sam’s mask began to form, the one he used when he was upset and didn’t want to show it.

“It’s not a lecture,” Peter reassured him. He put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I promise.”

Sam gave him a distrusting look. Before he could say anything, MJ walked out of the school and up to them.

“Um, guys...I need to talk to you.”

Peter did not want to talk to MJ so early in the morning. He loved her dearly, but after the whole ‘l _et's watch Spider-Man’s ass_ ’ thing...yea. It was too early for any more. To his utter delight, the bell rang.

He was half way through the doors, saying, “Sorry, MJ, talk at lunch?”, before she could react. In the reflection of the glass he saw Sam shrug and follow after him. MJ’s first class was opposite of his, but Sam’s was only a hall over. And it had been far, far, too long since they walked to class together. He slowed his stride so Sam could catch up. The first thing he noticed when they entered the school were signs saying Prom tickets went on sale that Friday. He took note of the date of prom, they had just over a month to get their pranks in order.

People were still looking at him, and it was unnerving. He was used to invisibly slipping down the hallways. What was going on? He tuned them out, focusing on walking close -but not too close- to Sam. They walked in companionable silence until they reached Peter’s turn.

“I’ll see you at lunch, I guess?”

“Yea, uh. Oh! Carrie leaves Saturday.” Peter had to lean in to hear him over the crowds of teens. “She asked if you would want to join us Friday after school for pizza. At that fun zone place?”

“The one with the go-karts and mini golf?”

“Yea, but we’re broke...so probably just Pizza and arcade games?”

Peter smiled down to Sam. “Yea, I wouldn’t miss it!” He blinked, when had he reached out and touched Sam’s arm? He pulled it back slowly, feeling the loss immediately.

Sam nodded and continued to his class. Peter entered his and sunk into his seat. He couldn’t remember the last time he and Sam hung out besides playing games at his house. Had they ever?

Peter was glad Sam didn’t question his incessant touching. Ever since their conversation after the party, it just seemed natural. Sam hadn’t minded it then, he hadn’t minded it Sunday morning, or Sunday night...but what did that mean? Was he just accepting it as one of Peter’s quirks? Or was he freaked out and just not saying anything? No, that was stupid. Of course Sam would say something if it bothered him. It was SAM! He didn’t want to bring it up, in case Sam just wasn’t even noticing...because what if Sam asked him to stop? It wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose, it just...happened. He did wonder how much he could get away with before Sam yelled at him. He smiled, it would be a fun game.

He emerged from his thoughts and realized the room had filled up and the teacher had started her lecture. Huh, he hadn’t even heard the bell. He was sitting towards the back and every few moments someone would try to nonchalantly glance his way. _Try_  being the operative word, because Peter would see them right away. One girl immediately began whispering to her friend after he raised an eyebrow at her.

What the _what_? Oh...the party. That had to be it. He was going to curse Harry for that outfit. And, oh gods, he had danced, and kissed that girl...no wonder people were gossiping about him. It was the same in each of his classes. He noticed that throughout his morning classes the looks progressed from curious, to confused, then something else he couldn’t quantify. He supposed the rumors were growing and evolving. He dropped his head to his desk. He had made it to the end of his senior year without being the topic of gossip, he had been so close! The bell rang signaling lunch time. He was sure MJ was going to fill him in on the gossip. A shudder ran through him, he’d rather just _not_  know.

He trudged through the halls, dragging his feet. The longer it took to get to the cafeteria, the less time he had to spend listening to the gossip about him. As he passed one of the side staircases, a pair of hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back. He whirled around, expecting a fight.

Harry held up his hands with a smirk. “Whoa, it’s just me.”

“Shit Harry, you scared me!” He let himself be dragged further behind the stairs. “What’s up?”

Harry looked around to check if anyone was around. “So, what have you heard?”

Peter blinked. “Heard?” He shrugged. “Nothing. People are just looking at me weird...they have been since I got here.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair. “Well, it’s been a long day of playing damage control. And it’s not done yet.”

Peter blinked again. “Damage control? I figured this whole thing was over that damn outfit you got me- ya know, the one that made me stand out?”

“Well, it was at first. This morning mostly everyone was whispering about what you wore Saturday, and how you danced, and then your kiss with Gwen made the rounds...that was first period. Then well…”

Peter didn’t think he was going to like whatever Harry said next.

“So, some people saw you and Sam leave together...and they threw that information into the rumor mill. At first it was ignored, but, well, Sam has hickeys on his neck. And the current rumor is, that, well, you put them there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! 
> 
> Dun Dun. Poor Petey, teenage gossip is the worst!
> 
> Thank you for sticking around! Once I finish this I think I'm going to take some prompts :D Thats, like, 2 months away, but I'm excited just thinking about it.


	12. Monday the 26th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Confession time: I have not seen season 3 of USM. So, in this universe Flash has not *yet* became agent venom, and -obviously- Peter has not joined the avengers. Watching it is on my to do list, but until Netflix adds it, I’ma be over here missing some canon facts.
> 
> This chapter and the next one were so much fund to write! I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> I love you all so much!

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY** :

 

Peter didn’t think he was going to like whatever Harry said next.

“So, some people saw you and Sam leave together...and they threw that information into the rumor mill. At first it was ignored, but, well, Sam has hickeys on his neck. And the current rumor is, that, well, you put them there?”

* * *

 

It took a moment for Peter to process that. What? He opened his mouth and shut it again. Then opened it again. What? He closed his mouth, not finding any words. How? What? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Yea, he _wished_  he was the one to give Sam those hickeys. Lucky for his brain, Harry was there to help him process.

“I’m assuming Flash and his buddies started the rumor.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the railing with an exaggerated eye roll. “They did see you basically run out of the party with Sam...I wasn’t sure what you -or Sam- would want me to say...but I did try my best to tell anyone I heard talking about it to mind their own. And, if I had time, I told them it was just not true.”

Then, to Peter’s utter mortification, Harry laughed. His own best friend, laughed at his misfortune. It was enough to jar his brain back into working order, or at least working enough to curse Harry. “Are you fucking laughing at this? You started that first part - what with the clothes and all!”

“Don’t look at me like that, Pete. It’s hilarious.” He flung an arm around Peter’s shoulders. Peter looked over to him with a raised eyebrow. “Peter, Pete, Petey. You realize, in the span of just a few hours you went from being labeled as the ‘ _Most Eligible Bachelor_ ’ to being half of the ‘ _Cutest Couple at Midtown_ ’.” Harry gave him a one-armed hug before leaning back against the railing.

And, Peter’s brain came to a grinding halt again. Because, what?

Harry laughed, “Your face right now.” He reached out to poke Peter’s cheek. “Don’t worry, it will blow over. Prom tickets go on sale soon, so everyone will get distracted with finding a date.” He sighed, his face falling back to a serious expression. “Look, Pete. I’ve had worse, okay? Hello? Billionaire’s son? And hey, if they don’t let up soon, you can always stage a break up of your fictional relationship in the middle of lunch or something.”

Peter needed Harry to stop talking. The more he talked, the more his brain needed to process. He was still stuck on what Harry had said before hugging him. “Wait, the school, like, things we’d be a cute couple?”

Harry grinned and winked. “Yea, you got it. Might wanna use that to your advantage…unless you’re going to chicken out about telling him? I’m going to assume you haven't spoke to Sam at all today?”

Peter cringed as the second bell rang, signaling lunch was officially beginning. “I talked to him this morning and- oh...uh oh.” He replayed his morning in his head.

“Hm?” Harry leaned forward, brows knit together.

“Uh...we may have, er _I_  may have been a bit touchy?” Oh gods, had he accidentally given the whole school a show?

Harry blinked at him then threw his head back and laughed- again.

“Shut up.”

“Peter? Harry?” Danny emerged into their hideout behind the stairs. “MJ was getting worried…”

Harry eyed Peter, then turned to Danny. “I’ll let her know Pete’s fine.” He gave Peter a light punch on his shoulder. “I’ll grab you a tray.”

Peter smiled. “Thanks, I’ll be there...I just need to process…”

Harry smiled back and left. Danny waited until Harry was out of earshot to speak. “The longer you hide, the more Sam will take the brunt of this rumor.”

Peter looked up from his feet. His heart began to race at the thought of Sam fending off person after person asking about the rumor. “Has he said anything about it?”

Danny gave him a kind smile. “He has not expressed disgust at the idea of dating you, if that is what you’re worried about.”

Peter hadn’t even thought of that. He just wanted to know if Sam was about to punch to next person who ask him about it…

His face must have betrayed his panic. Danny placed a calming hand on his shoulder. “Do not let fear of possible outcomes deter you from action. The unknown is always darker and more dangerous-” Danny cut himself off with a sigh. “Just tell him.”

Peter took a half step away. “Wha?” Well, he had been planning on doing just that.

Danny snaked an arm around his shoulder and began leading him towards the cafeteria. “Be mindful of your own reactions to this rumor. Your outright denial could, depending on your choice of words, lead Sam to believe you do not like him in such a way. Might I suggest pulling him aside and telling him how you feel before you both seek to deny these rumors?”

Peter let himself be led into the cafeteria. It would be silly to deny the rumors, then start dating a few days or weeks later. He wasn’t sure if Danny thought he stood a chance, or if he was trying to help Peter get over his crush by getting denied. Did Danny know something? What did he know? He couldn’t ask, they were walking through the cafeteria and he could feel people looking as he walked past.

His friends had chosen a table in the corner. Danny pushed him into a chair between Harry and Ava. And directly opposite of Sam. True to his word, Harry got him a tray, but his appetite was gone. He moved his potatoes around with his spoon while listening to the stilted conversations around him. Everyone was careful to avoid the subject they obviously wanted to talk about. But Peter was happy to allow them to continue to dance around it, and judging by Sam’s glower he was of the same opinion.

“So, Peter?” Luke, who was sitting a few chairs down, called over to him. He waited for Peter to look in his direction before continuing. “So, this Sunday is April 1st...any good pranks? It sucks it’s on a weekend. ”

Peter sighed. He knew what Luke was doing. He was trying to ease the tension, to get him and Sam thinking about something besides the rumors. “Is it? I hadn’t realized. I guess not?” He shrugged. “It’s too late to plan anything now. I’ll put my efforts towards our senior prank.”

Peter went back to moving around his mashed potatoes. He tried to come up with what he should say to Sam. It should be easy enough to get him alone after lunch, but beyond that? Yea, Peter had nothing. And he knew winging it never worked for him; every time he tried with Sam he flubbed up or was interrupted.

His spiral of downward thoughts was interrupted with an elbow to his side. He looked to Ava next to him, silently demanding an answer. She moved her eyes back and forth from Peter to Sam. Peter sighed and followed her gesture, anticipating Ava wanted him to cheer Sam up. When he turned his head back, Sam was still looking down at his tray. But that wasn’t what Ava was getting his attention for. Flash was walking towards them, with two of his jock friends flanking him. Peter groaned, unable to stop what was about to happen. To his relief, Flash motioned for his buddies to stay back.

A shadow fell over Sam as Flash stepped up behind him. Sam’s grip on his fork tightened, but he made no move to acknowledge Flash. Peter would give Flash some credit, he looked down to Sam and saw the tension in his shoulders and opted to address him instead.

“Uh, Parker?” Flash rubbed the back of his neck in an unusual outward sign of his nervousness. They had known each other since kindergarten and Peter knew all of Flash’s emotions. All three of them. Well, that wasn’t fair, but in all seriousness, Peter couldn’t remember Flash ever being _nervous_.

“Flash.” He kept his tone neutral. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about this out of character behavior from Flash.

“Look, uh.” He paused. Peter could see him working out the words in his head. “Um, It, uh, was suggested that my, um, information from the party wasn’t s’posed to be public knowledge and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to _out_  you guys or anything. I didn’t know you wanted to keep it a secret.”

“Flash…” Peter was at a loss to what to say. He had fully expected Flash, the Super Jock(tm), to be a huge homophobe or to at least poke fun at their discomfort (imagined or not). This was his chance to correct Flash, to say, in front of everyone, that he and Sam were just friends.

“So, yea. It’s cool that you two are dating and-”

Sam slammed his palms on the table. He stood up, causing Flash to step to the side. “We are _not_  dating. Parker and I are just friends. In case you missed it, he was with a girl at the party. We left together because I was-” Sam faltered, “-not feeling well and he helped me home.”

Flash stared down at Sam with wide eyes, “Then what about-”

“Dammit! The hickeys are from my boyfriend. Who I’m seeing again tonight. So Stop. Spreading. Rumors.” Sam sat back down with a huff, completely dismissing Flash’s existence.

Flash sent Peter a _look_  he couldn’t interpret. “It’s okay Flash. No harm done, just a misunderstanding. But, thank you for being considerate enough to stop over and, uh, say those things.” He gave Flash what he hoped was a sincere looking smile. Because, he was sincere. Flash cared enough he wanted to apologize.

“Sorry. Damn, I’m sorry guys. Shit, that got out of hand. All I did was say something to one person, then it just exploded.”

Sam grit his teeth. “Yea, that’s how rumors _start_.”

Flash blinked at the back of Sam’s head. He looked like he was about to say something else, but decided against it. He nodded at Peter then left to rejoin his entourage. Peter watched him walk away before turning his focus back to Sam. Now the...threat? No, Flash wasn’t a threat. Now that _Flash_  was gone, he let Sam’s words sink in.

And sink they did.

Without preamble Peter asked, “You’re seeing Casper?”

“Yes. Now. Drop. It.” Sam didn’t look up from his plate for the rest of lunch.

Peter chanced a glance at MJ, who only gave him a sad, helpless smile. So much for using the rumor to his advantage. How had he forgotten about Casper? He managed to stop himself from letting his head fall into his potatoes. Everyone was quiet the rest of lunch, and Sam bolted out as soon as the bell rang.

Peter tuned out for the rest of the day. The looks didn’t stop, but they had changed tone again. Were those looks of sympathy? Just what had the rumor changed into? He didn’t bother trying to find out, if it was important someone would tell him.

Aunt May was already home when arrived. She called to him from the kitchen, “Peter?”

He poked his head in. “Hey Aunt May, have fun?”

“Yes, I did!” She took off her apron then enveloped him in a huge hug. “So, how was the party?”

Peter stiffened against her hug and pulled away. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

She patted his cheek. “It’s okay, Peter.” She gave him a sympathetic look, “I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

Peter gave her a smile that did not quite reach his eyes before turning to head to his room.

May called after him, “Oh, and Peter?”

“Yea?”

“Even if the romantic side of your relationship with Sam never blossoms, do not let your friendship wilt.”

Peter roll his eyes. “Have you be reading that book Danny bought you again?”

She just smiled. “You should invite Sam over for dinner tomorrow. I miss him.”

Peter nodded, but wasn’t sure if that was something he could handle at the moment. He would sleep on it and see how he felt in the morning. He didn’t want to disappoint Aunt May, but…

He had one foot on the stairs when there was a knock at his door. When he opened it, Danny’s smiling face beamed at him. “Hey, Peter. May I come in?”

“Of course!”

Danny stepped in, greeting Aunt May as he did so.

“Oh, Danny!” She pulled him into a hug. “Great to see you.”

Peter and Danny retreated to Peter’s room. Once there, Peter threw his bag on the floor and collapsed on his bed.

Danny eased himself into the chair at Peter’s desk. “It would appear...ah, my advice is no longer applicable…”

Peter groaned. “I almost told him yesterday. Then we were interrupted, and I let it drop.” He sat back up, crossing his legs on the bed. “I’m glad I didn’t now. That...would have sucked.”

“You did not seem surprised by his revelation. Ava was convinced the rumors were true."

"Is that why she kept giving us _looks_  yesterday?"

Peter sighed and filled Danny in on everything that happened at Harry’s Party and after. “So, yea. I’d rather just forget about Sam and his date tonight, and how he is probably going to have more hickeys tomorrow and-” His throat closed up, and Peter realized he was on the verge of crying. After a few steady breaths he was able to continue, though his voice was strained. “Can we talk about something else?”

Danny gave him a sad smile. “How about the senior prank?”

Peter perked up. “Yes. So. Are we still going to pull something at prom?”

They discussed the ups and downs of various pranks, until they settled on an outline. The details would need to be worked out, but they felt it was probably going to go down as one of the best pranks ever. “I’ll talk to Sam about it and make sure he’s on board. Luke said he’s down for whatever.”

“Harry’s in too.”

It was getting late, and Danny excused himself. Peter fell back onto his bed. He needed to get over Sam. But, how did one go about falling out of love with someone?

“Whoa wait up,” He said to his empty room. “When did I say anything about love?” And, how would he know if what he was feeling for Sam was love? He’d never been in love with someone before, it was probably just his brain assigning a term to deal with his feelings. No, he didn’t love Sam. Love required time. Right? He groaned. This _crush_  was going to ruin their friendship if he didn’t get in under control.

What did friends -just friends- do? Well, they checked up on the other person. And asked how things...like a date went? Was it wrong of Peter to hope Sam’s date was a complete flop? He was tapping away at his phone before he changed his mind.

[10:31pm] Peter: Hey. How was your date?  
[10:34pm] Sam: great :)  
[10:34pm] Peter: :)

[10:35pm] Peter: Don’t hold a grudge against Flash

[10:36pm] Sam: Seriously? r u pissed off about that stupid rumor?  
[10:36pm] Peter: no

[10:40pm] Sam: y

[10:41pm] Peter: hey, for half a day i was half of ‘the cutest couple at midtown’ as Harr put it  
[10:41pm] Peter: and that's probably as close as I’ll get to actually being in a ‘couple’

[10:42pm] Sam: What about the girl at the party?  
[10:42pm] Peter: Gwen? She's not my type. I guess?  
[10:42pm] Sam: Bummer. She looked cute.

Peter stopped himself from typing ‘not as cute as you’. He sat his phone down at his side and ran a hand through his hair. He he just typed all of that to Sam? He was lucky Sam was as oblivious as he was, because if it had been anyone else he was positive they would have seen right through him.

[10:45pm] Sam: btw meeting Carrie right after school friday. U still in?  
[10:45pm] Sam: ima kick your ass at every game too!

Peter smiled down at his phone. Aunt May’s words echoed in his head. Yea, he didn’t want to lose Sam as a friend just because of his stupid crush. He glanced up to his desk and saw the flask was still there. He thought he should probably hide it before Aunt May found it.

[10:47pm] Peter: as if! I’m sure even MJ could beat you at skeeball!  
[10:48pm] Sam: ill show u!  
[10:48pm] Peter: Hey, what do you want me to do with your dad’s flask?

He didn’t get a response right away. After twenty minutes with no response he reasoned that Sam was probably ignoring the question. Peter plucked the item off his desk and stowed it in his bottom drawer. It wasn’t the best hiding place, but it was out of sight.

Peter quickly changed into his PJs and hopped onto his bed to finish his homework. Just as he opened his first book, there was a light tap at his window. Sam was hovering outside. Peter opened the window motioned for him to enter.

Sam landed in the middle of his room and removed his helmet. “Sorry I didn’t text you back. Danny stopped by to fill me in on your prank ideas.”

“And you couldn’t just text me after?” He looked Sam over. His old hickeys were fading, any new ones must have been hidden by his shirt. Peter shook his head, that was not something he wanted to think about.

“I came to get my flask.”

Peter rolled his eyes, but bent down to get the flask out of the drawer he _just_  put it in. He held it out to Sam, but pulled back slightly when he reached for it. “Sam. Please-”

“Dammit, I know!” He grabbed the flask out of Peter’s hand and stowed it in his pocket.

Sensing a change of subject was needed, Peter sat on the edge of his bed. “So, anything you’d like to add to the prank scheme?”

“I’m not going to prom. So you need to write me out of those plans.”

“Not going?”

“Yea, I don’t do the whole fancy dress up thing.”

Peter snorted, barely stopping himself from bringing up the dress _incident_. “Well, no one else has your level of hacking skill.” Their prom was being held a one of the fancy country club like buildings in the city. The security rivaled SHIELD’s, and Peter wasn’t yet convinced it wasn’t _actually_  a SHIELD base.

“You’ll have to make due. I could probably write a program for you, then you’d just need to plug ‘n’ chug.”

“Fine.” It wasn’t fine. He wanted Sam there. Because, either he was going to watch Sam dance with Casper and hopefully, finally, start to get over Sam -OR he was going to dance with Sam and win his heart with his awesome dancing prowess. He let the topic drop, but he was going to get Sam there one way or another.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Peter’s life returned to it’s almost-normal state. He met Sam before school, and they walked to their first classes together. He still caught himself leaning too close to Sam, or found his hand on Sam’s arm. But, it was nice to be back on good terms with Sam. They hadn’t been this friendly in months- not since he yelled at Sam after that one mission. He still never got the courage to ask Sam _exactly_  what he said that day. He didn’t want Sam to even think about it out of fear it would reignite their fighting.

Before they parted for classes Peter paused, his stupid hand gripped Sam’s wrist. Sam looked at his grip with a raised eyebrow. “So, “ Peter began, dropping Sam’s hand. “Aunt May asked me to invite you over for dinner. Apparently, she misses you. Don’t know why.”

Sam smiled, “Maybe next week? I’m trying to spend as much time with Carrie before she leaves.”

They parted ways and Peter didn’t see him until training that night. For the rest of the week he walked to his first class with Sam, talking about games or movies. Then he would walk with Harry to lunch. He went back to alternating his lunch arrangements; sitting with Harry and MJ, then the team, then all together.

His life was drama free until Friday. The school’s gossip mill died down. As Harry predicted, everyone started focusing on prom. Prom tickets went on sale Friday and the lines were ridiculous. Peter shrugged, he would buy his on Monday. He hurried to lunch Friday and sat with MJ and Harry.

MJ was frowning at her tray. “Everything alright?”

“Peachy.”

He looked to Harry, who only shrugged. When MJ stood to toss her tray, Harry leaned over to stage whisper. “She’s been like that all day. Well, since her shift at the Bugle last night…”

Peter looked up to see MJ placing her tray on the rack. She turned to walk back to their table, but paused. Sam walked past her to place his tray as well. MJ waited until he walked back her way before stepping in front of him and grabbing his arm. She all but pulled Sam from the cafeteria.

He exchanged a look with Harry, who was just as perplexed as he was. They watched MJ and Sam from their seats. The couldn’t hear what she was saying, but her finger was in Sam’s face, and Sam looked frightened. He glanced around for an escape. But Peter and Harry knew from years of experience that there was just no escape from MJ’s wrath.

“I wonder what he did,” Harry said.

Peter shrugged. Whatever it was, MJ was laying into him hard. The bell rang and Peter grabbed MJ’s bag to take to her.

He was almost to the doors when he was intercepted by Flash. "Hey, Peter."

Peter gave Flash a forced smile. "I'm in a bit of a rush."

"Oh, sorry." Flash stepped to the side. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Yea, sure Flash."

They were still arguing when Peter and Harry began to walk up, but they stopped once they realized people were filling in around them.

Peter handed MJ her bag, “Everything alright?” He glanced at Sam, who refused to meet his gaze.

“It’s _nothing_ ,” MJ said in a mocking tone. She glared at Sam again before stomping off, pulling Harry with her.

“Sam?”

“Drop it.” He shifted his bag. “I’ll meet you out front after school?”

Peter frowned at the subject change, but nodded before walking to his next class.

The final bell didn’t come soon enough. He raced out of the school to meet Sam and MJ. Well, after their spat at lunch, he wasn’t sure if MJ was still going with them or not. When he exited the school Sam was nowhere to be found.

MJ slid next to him. “Hey Pete.”

He eyed her. “Wanna fill me in on what happened earlier?”

MJ bit her lip, deciding if she should tell Peter. She opened her mouth to talk, but Sam cut her off.

“Dammit, Parker. Stop being nosey!” He shot a nervous look to MJ then groaned. “Look. She found out, “ Sam dropped his voice to a whisper, “that I’m failing a class- well, in danger of failing, then not graduating. And she offered to tutor me. Now. Drop. It.”

“I could help too…”

“No,” Sam growled. “It’s embarrassing enough.”

Peter sighed and let the subject drop. He’d have to talk to MJ later and find out if there was anything he could do to help. They walked to the subway together to catch the train to meet Carrie. And if Peter stood closer than necessary on the crowded subway? Well, no one said a word.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... the whole school ships it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I have the next two chapters written, they just need to be edited. So, I'm back to weekly updates yay! The next chapter is 90% fluffy :) I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!


	13. Fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! I had a flub up where some lines were deleted. I think I fixed it all, but if you see something weird please point it out. I feel so silly right now haha...
> 
>  
> 
> 90% fluff. 10% get the f- on with it.

__

 

* * *

The train ride was deceptively short. Peter was highly aware of every second that passed; he was aware of each second his arm was pressed against Sam's, each second Sam's shoulder bounced into his, each second he could smell Sam's cologne. The lingering scent of it on Peter's pillow had faded after the second night. Inhaling it directly from the source was almost intoxicating; Peter considered asking Sam what brand he used, but quickly dismissed it as beyond creepy.

The train finally reached their stop. As it slowed, the person next to Peter bumped into him. The unexpected push sent his hand sliding against Sam's. A tingling spark erupted on every point that touched Sam, and Peter quickly retracted his hand while pretending nothing unusual happened- pretending he didn't want to hold Sam's hand.

MJ shot Peter a raised eyebrow as they exited the train, an amused grin played on her face. While Sam's back was turned she made a kissy face at him. Peter rolled his eyes, but could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. Ahead of them, Sam was abnormally quiet. Now that he thought about it, Sam had been silent the whole way there. Peter shrugged it off, his best friend was leaving and he was failing a class. Sam had every right to be quiet.

The FunZone, as it was so originally named, was very busy when they arrived. Groups of families and teens roamed around, running from the arcade games to the go-carts and back. They pushed through the crowds and made their way to the restaurant part of the building.

Carrie was already waiting for them at a booth when they arrived. She pulled MJ in beside her, leaving Peter and Sam to slide into the other side. Luckily, or unluckily, depending how you looked at it, the booth was fairly large. After the train ride, Peter was glad to have some space between him and Sam. He repeated  _he has a boyfriend he has a boyfriend_  over in his head. The fact was eating at his insides. Being so close to Sam was whittling his resolve to not meddle. But Danny's words rang back to him- and Peter knew he was right. He would still be holding onto that hope until Sam turned him down. He just needed to figure out how to tactfully tell Sam how he felt. At this point, he was certain their friendship was strong enough to survive, even if Sam would be awkward around him for a while.

When Carrie asked how school was for them they carefully avoided the whole 'rumor mill' fiasco and Sam's grades. Although, Peter was confident MJ had filled her in on at least the first part.

When their pizza arrived the subject changed to Prom. Peter didn't miss the gleam in MJs eyes, and wondered if she was up to something.

"So, MJ," Carrie said. "Do you think Harry will ask you?"

MJ smiled, "Doubtful. He's almost as oblivious as Peter."

"Well," Carrie solemnly placed a hand on her arm, "I can always fly back out here and be your date."

They both dissolved into a fit of giggles. Sam raised an eyebrow to Peter, who only shrugged.

"I didn't know you liked Harry like that, MJ."

MJ spread her arms. "See, Carrie? See first hand what my life is like here. Oblivious guys all around! It's no wonder they're still single."

Peter flinched slightly at her words, because, ouch! Yea, if he'd figured his feelings for Sam out earlier, he wouldn't be in this mess. Okay, he probably still would be.

Carrie smirked. "I think Sam would take the oblivious crown."

"Hey!" Sam's indigent shout was muffled by the pizza half in his mouth.

"Gross Sam. I know your Mom raised you better than that!"

"Shut up, Carrie." Sam grinned as he continued to inhale his pizza. "Ima run to the bathroom. Brb."

"Did you just say 'brb'?" Carrie raised an eyebrow as she watched Sam shrug and walk off.

Carrie turned to watch Sam. As soon as he was out of sight she whirled around, fixing Peter with a mischievous smirk. They reminded him of two lionesses about to pounce on their prey.

"So, why haven't you told him?" Carrie folded her arms.

Peter once again felt heat threaten to climb up his neck. "Wh-what are you -do you mean?"

MJ rolled her eyes. "Seriously Parker?"

Peter glared at the table. "Well, I was going to. Then I was interrupted. Twice." He looked up to Carrie.

Carrie turned to check for Sam then delicately placed her hand on his. "Oh, sweetie. You need to be blunt with Sammy. Even after that cuddle session I walked in on, he still has no clue. And believe me, he'd tell me."

Peter sunk down into the booth and huffed. "Well, it's too late anyway."

MJ bit at her bottom lip. It was her one tell Peter could actually recognize: she knew something. She had information she wanted to share, but was also sworn not to tell. Peter stared her dead in the eyes, waiting her out. Finally, MJ relented, "I shouldn't saaay anything, but-ow!"

MJ turned to Carrie who had just kicked her under the table. Carrie moved her head to indicate behind her. Peter looked up just as Sam slid back into the booth.

The three of them stared at Sam, afraid he had possibly overheard their conversation.

Sam just rolled his eyes and looked at Carrie. "What embarrassing story did you tell them this time?"

Carrie grinned, taking the offered out. "Just about that time you destroyed our skate park. Then fixed it. Then destroyed it again."

Peter cracked up, because, hey- that was totally Sam. He made a mental note to get more stories from her.

Sam huffed, "I was still figuring out the helmet. Gah!" He threw his hands in the air. "Well, shall we play some games then?" He didn't wait for an answer before standing up.

Peter watched as the two girls shared a  _look_. Carrie smiled sweetly up at Sam, "Sure. Shall we compete to see who gets the most tickets from the games?"

Sam smirked, "Right, like any of you stand a chance against me." He faltered, pulling out the money from his pockets. "Okay, but, $5 limit?"

They all agreed to the terms and set off into the arcade. Carrie and MJ ran in a different direction, leaving him with Sam. Peter shrugged and surveyed the games. Usually he didn't worry about tickets and would head straight to the pinball machines or the shooters. But, unfortunately, those did not give tickets. Sam walked with him as he circled the arcade. Most of the games were either luck based or gave no tickets.

Peter huffed. "I guess skeeball is it."

"Bet I can get the highscore!" Sam ran ahead through the crowd.

They waited for two lanes to open next to each other and proceeded to play. Peter held one of the brown skeeballs in his hand as he watched Sam roll his first down the lane. He followed the angle of Sam's arm, watched his shoulder blades dance under his shirt. Peter groaned and rolled his ball. He couldn't keep getting distracted like that.

"Really, webs? A 20 point roll?" Sam rolled another ball up and hit the 100pt. "Guess video games aren't the only thing you suck at."

Peter rolled his next one, hitting the 100pt. "It's just been a while, I needed to get used to the game." It totally had nothing to do with being distracted by Sam.

They played several games, each getting perfect scores...except for Peter's first game where he messed up his first roll. He eyed Sam. Peter had just finished his last game and he needed to distract Sam enough to get him to flub a roll. He wasn't above playing dirty.

As Sam picked up his second to last ball, Peter looked over to him. "So, how's your boyfriend?"

Sam stopped his arm mid roll. His shoulders went stiff, which was not what Peter expected. "Fine."

"Whoa, harsh." Peter waited for Sam to relax and roll again. "Are you bringing him to prom?"

Peter had timed his question just right, Sam faltered slightly. 20pts. Sam growled and rolled his last ball to the 100pt slot. So, they were tied for points and tickets.

"No. I'm not going to prom."

"Come on! We need you there to-"

"I said no."

Peter held up his hands. "Whoa, okay." He looked around, MJ and Carrie were nowhere to be seen. Sam looked like he was about to punch something, which, okay, that was a bit of an overreaction.

Peter sighed. He grabbed Sam's arm and dragged him to the air hockey table.

"Peter, we already used our $5 for the bet...which is all I had by the way."

"Yea, I know. And air hockey doesn't give tickets." He let Sam's arm drop. "This is just for fun."

"But I-"

Peter held up another dollar. "On me."

Sam grinned. "Well, who am I to turn down another opportunity to beat you?"

"We tied at skeeball."

Sam shrugged and grabbed his paddle. "So...loser has to ask Ava if she's gained a few pounds?"

Peter cringed. He put the money into the machine and he heard the puck drop on his side. "Well, I doubt she'd even care- because she knows she looks damn good. Besides, I don't want either of us to die."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "So, ask Danny?"

Peter laughed at the image of one of them asking Danny if he had gained a few pounds.

Sam smirked from the other side of the game. "Okay. Okay. Loser just loses and will have to live with the shame forever."

Peter sat the puck on the table. "I can live with that."

Air hockey was not something Peter was prepared to lose at. But across from him was Sam. Sam, who was so concentrated on the puck bouncing around the table he didn't notice his mouth was slightly open. Sam, who leaned over the table to reach the puck, exposing his collar bone. Sam, who's cheeks were slightly flushed from keeping up with Peter's fast pace.

Sam sent the puck back to him and Peter misjudged the angle. Sam threw his arms up in celebration as he scored. Peter quickly took the puck from the slot and sent it straight into Sam's goal while he was busy celebrating.

"Hey, no fair!"

They went back and forth for a while, each score taking several minutes. Eventually they were tied 6-6, the next to score would win. Sam sat the puck on the table, licking his lips in concentration. He looked up, straight into Peter's eyes. Peter was so lost in them he didn't notice Sam had hit the puck until it went into his goal.

"Whoo!" Sam danced around, making his way to Peter's side of the table. "I kicked your ass!"

"Watch it spark plug or I'll actually kick yours." He couldn't help the smile on his face, even if he had lost. He threw an arm around Sam's shoulder, "Let's go find the girls."

Sam didn't shrug his arm off and let himself be led through the arcade. They circled the arcade but turned up no trace of MJ or Carrie. Next to him he felt Sam start to laugh. Peter looked down, hoping for an explanation.

Sam looked up at him, eyes twinkling with mirth. Peter forced himself to pay attention to what Sam was saying because he was close to getting lost in Sam's eyes again. "They didn't play any games. I bet they went for dessert or something."

Sure enough, when they went back to the cafe, MJ and Carrie were laughing at a tall circle table over a mostly eaten sunday. Sam pulled himself out of Peter's arm and pushed between MJ and Carrie.

"Heeyyyyy girllllsssss" He shoveled a large bite of ice cream into his mouth. "oo irls hab f'n?"

"Sam, gross." MJ pushed him back.

Peter leaned against their table. "So, we tied for tickets."

"But I kicked his ass at air hockey." Sam puffed out his chest a little.

"Aww. Okay you two overgrown toddlers, why don't you go get something with your tickets then meet us back here?"

After being thoroughly dismissed, Sam and Peter walked back to the arcade. As they passed the doors to the outside Sam deflated. Peter realized it was getting dark. His heart went out to Sam, Carrie would be returning to Arizona.

"Do you want to come over and play games tonight?" Peter thought maybe it would take his mind off of Carrie leaving.

"No. I'm going to help Carrie pack tonight and see her to the airport in the morning."

"Okay. We'll, the offer stands the whole weekend."

The ticket counter was crowded and they took their time in line to figure out what to get. Sam pointed to a key-chain that said "New York" with a heart- or was that an apple?

"I'm going to get that for Carrie. I'll have some tickets leftover for some candy or something."

Peter scanned the prize racks. He spotted a teddy bear with a "I love New York" t-shirt, and bumped Sam's shoulder. "What about that? For Carrie?"

Sam frowned. "That's more tickets than I have. It's…"

"Double?" Peter wiggled his eyebrows and waited for Sam to catch up.

"Peter! You don't have to-"

"I want to."

Sam blinked up at him. "Peter…" His eyes watered slightly and he swallowed. "Thank you."

Peter smiled and bumped his shoulder against Sam's again.

When they made it back to the cafe the girls were standing at the doors waiting for them. Sam ran up and presented Carrie with the teddy bear.

"Sam, it's adorable!"

"It's from both of us." He nodded towards Peter. "I wish I could afford a real souvenir for you…"

"Awwww, Sammy." She enveloped him in a hug. "I'm going to miss you."

They walked outside. Carrie hailed a cab and gave everyone hugs. "I'm going to miss all of you. I'm so glad we got to hang out one last time."

Sam followed her into the cab. "I'll see you two Monday at school."

Carrie leaned over him to wave as the cab drove off.

Peter sighed as the cab disappeared from view. "Guess I'll head home too."

"Peter…" MJ paused to hail a cab. "Look...here." She pressed two prom tickets into his hand. "Stop being a baby and just ask him."

She disappeared into the cab before Peter could comment. He looked down at the tickets in his hand. Leave it to MJ to meddle. Sam was even against going to prom with his boyfriend, why would he agree to go with Peter?

Peter ducked into an ally. He quickly changed into his costume and went on patrol. He wasn't looking for trouble, in fact, he stuck to mostly low crime areas. Swinging through the city and running on the rooftops helped clear his head. Before he realized, Peter ran straight home, ducking into another ally to change first.

Aunt May was watching tv when he walked in the front door. "Hi Peter."

"Hi Aunt May."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yea." He flopped onto the couch next to his Aunt. "Can I ask you for some advice?"

"Sure. Does this have anything to do with Sam?"

Peter closed his eyes. "Yes." He rubbed his eyes. "MJ is pushing me to ask him to prom. And I don't know what to do…" He showed her the tickets MJ gave to him.

Aunt May laid a hand on his knee. "Oh, Peter. I think you know what to do, but you're afraid of his rejection."

"Aunt May...he has a boyfriend."

"Oh? Well, that does complicate things. How long have they been dating?"

"They met at Harry's party last weekend. Does it matter though? I don't want to, like, ruin that or anything." Okay, so he did want to ruin it and watch it burn in flames. But that was mean, and Peter would never admit that out loud. "I don't know what I should do?"

"Well, Peter." Aunt May stood up. "Inaction is still an action. If you don't ask him, you still made a decision. I'm heading to bed, goodnight dear."

"Night Aunt May." Peter had not realized how late it was. He took a quick shower and went to bed.

Saturday he slept in. It was almost 1pm before he did more than eat breakfast. After deciding wallowing was doing him no good, he made his way to the tricarrier for some solo training. He let his mind wander as he dodged around. Towards the end of his session he remembered something Luke had said earlier that week. Sunday was April 1st- April fools day.

He grinned, it was perfect- though probably not completely  _ethical_.

After training he returned home and tried to focus on his homework. Aunt May interrupted him for dinner, and Peter was glad for the break. After, he returned to his room and continued to work on his English paper. Before he knew it, it was 11:40pm.

"Just a few more minutes…" He turned on skype and was happy to see MJ was still online.

Peter: Can you talk?  
MJ: My webcam is busted:(  
Peter: k. Well. I'm going to ask Sam…

MJ: About time!  
Peter: I'm waiting until after midnight…  
MJ: What? Hoping he'll be asleep?  
Peter: No…  
MJ: …  
MJ: OMG  
MJ: Peter! NO! THAT IS SO MEAN!

Peter: MJ, this way I can save face  
Peter: ...if he turns me down I can just say it was a prank  
MJ: No. Bad.  
Peter: …  
MJ: Just ask him like a normal person face to face

Peter: Neither of us are 'normal'  
MJ: :(

Peter checked the time. It was midnight. He took a deep breath and pushed MJ out of his mind. His palms were sweaty as he typed his first message. He wasn't backing down. No, this was his best shot. His chance to ask Sam.

[12:01am] Peter: Hey  
[12:03am] Sam: Wtf Webs? its like midnight  
[12:03am] Peter: so?  
[12:04am] Peter: Did Carrie make it home okay?

[12:05am] Sam: Yea. I talked to her today  
[12:05am] Peter: :)  
[12:07am] Peter: Sam?  
[12:08am] Sam: ?  
[12:08am] Peter: I want to ask you something  
[12:08am] Peter: no, *need* to ask you something  
[12:09am] Sam: ?  
[12:09am] Peter: Will you be my date to Prom?

Peter forced himself to swallow around the lump in his throat as he waited for Sam's reply. He held his breath and hoped he had read Sam right. That Sam liked him too- as more than a friend.

* * *

Thank you for reading! Next chapter next week!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Next chapter next week!


	14. Study

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!! 
> 
> You guys have all been great. Thank you so much for all your support!

When Sam did not respond after five minutes Peter began to panic. He turned back to his computer to message MJ

Peter: Shit  
MJ: ?  
Peter: I asked and he hasn’t responded  
MJ: He’s probably asleep  
Peter: No, we were texting back and forth before I asked

Peter: Omg. He hates me. He hates me  
Peter: Friendship over  
Peter: halp :(

MJ: Give him time. You just kinda dropped a bomb on him  
MJ: Let him sort himself out before you jump to conclusions

Peter threw his head back with a groan and willed himself to not panic. He was Spider-Man. He could handle one rejection, right? Right?

“Oh shit.” Peter remembered the last time Sam stopped responding to his texts when he brought up a tough subject. He had flown over to his house to talk in person. He eyed his window with trepidation. Was Sam on his way over to turn him down in person? Peter flung himself face first into his pillow- which no longer smelled like Sam. He would much rather Sam just text him back. There was no way he was going to say yes; Sam was seeing someone. He was seeing someone _else_.

Peter pushed his face harder into his pillow. A queasy feeling settled over him. He was too _late_. He waited too _long_. Sam would never look at him as more than a friend.

His phone buzzed multiple times from across the room and he all but ran to it.

[12:30am] Sam: urgh. really? is that your way to get me there?  
[12:30am] Sam: good job on using april fools day dude  
[12:30am] Sam: but damn, you must be desperate for me to help

[12:31am] Peter: Is that a yes or no?  
[12:31am]Peter: Please say yes.  
[12:31am] Sam: u r an ass  
[12:32am] Peter: I am. Is that a yes or a no?  
[12:35am] Sam: go 2 hell

Peter let his head drop to his keyboard. He didn’t know what he was expecting. But that wasn’t it. He had half expected a rejection, though he was hoping…

He took MJ’s advice out of sheer necessity and left Sam alone for the rest of the day. The little sleep he did manage Sunday morning was fitful, and he woke up several times in a cold sweat, the echos of a nightmare just out of his reach.

Sam didn’t message him anymore Sunday. He didn't show up at Peter’s window either. Peter couldn't bring himself to message Sam again, couldn’t get passed the gripping fear of a true rejection. Plus, it was still April 1st, anything he said would probably be taken as a prank. He didn't message MJ either; she didn't need to be dragged deeper into his shitty love life. And how shitty it was. The guy she tried to set him up with was dating the guy he wanted to be with.

For lack of anything better to do, Peter pulled out his homework again. He was still only halfway finished writing his English paper. Normally, homework was a perfect distraction for him. It let his mind focus on a task not at all related to whatever problem he was facing. But he caught himself several times staring at a blank spot on his wall, or at his phone with no idea how long he had been spacing. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing at his dry eyes. What did he do now? What did he say when he saw Sam at school the next day?

A knock at his bedroom door sent his heart thumping against his rib cage. Had Sam decided to come over after all? To tell him to his face how much he definitely didn't like him as anymore than a friend?

He swallowed as the door opened, then sighed in relief when the open door revealed MJ. Of course it wouldn't be Sam. He would use the window -and even if he did use the front door, Sam wouldn't bother with something courteous like _knocking_.

"Hey, MJ." His voice sounded weak even to his own ears.

MJ gave him a sad smile and closed the door behind her. She took a careful seat on the corner of his bed. "So, you never let me know what happened last night."

Peter couldn’t say it out loud. He pulled up his conversation with Sam and tossed his phone to her. He watched as she read it, her face remained neutral.

When she finished, MJ sighed heavily. "You are the world's biggest idiot."

Okay, he was well aware of that. No need to rub it in. He accepted the phone back and waited for MJ to continue.

"You didn’t tell him how you feel. You just asked him to prom."

"So?"

MJ rubbed at her temples and Peter could sense she was close to losing all patience with him. "Tell him." She looked up. "But not today. He'll probably assume it's another April Fools prank."

“Right.”

MJ walked over to where Peter was sitting. “Just tell him.”

If only it were that _easy_. He smiled weakly up at her. “I’ll try…”

MJ sighed. “Good enough, I guess.” She gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"I'm heading to the Bugle. Try not to do anything else stupid today."

Peter only huffed and dropped his head to his desk. He laid around for the rest of the day, generally feeling sorry for himself. No, he decided. MJ was wrong; He couldn't tell Sam the truth. With a heavy heart, Peter finished his homework and went to bed.

The next morning he walked to school with a sense of foreboding. Would Sam be pissed off at him? Or not even acknowledge his existence? Their routine of walking to class together would help him gauge Sam’s temperament.

Peter caught a glimpse of the back of Sam's head and it send his heart began beating faster. He was standing where they usually met before class. His back was turned and he didn't see Peter approach.

"Hey."

Sam jumped. "H-hey Parker."

Last names again? Peter sighed, he knew Sam would be upset with him, but actually dealing with it was something he wasn’t ready for.

"Alexander." Peter nodded. And, deciding he could absolutely not handle Sam’s ire so early in the morning, he walked past him and into the school. He didn't wait for Sam to catch up and continued on his way to his first class.

He was prepared for Sam to be angry with him. But he was not prepared for the tightness in his chest, and the empty feeling in his gut, at seeing Sam in person. As his day progressed, his mood only spiraled further downward.

By the time the bell rang for lunch, he was ready to skip the rest of the day. Harry caught up to him on his way to the cafeteria, blocking his chance to run. Peter couldn’t concentrate on what Harry was saying, but assumed it was nothing of importance when heard “banana cream pie”. Once they had their trays, he followed Harry to where MJ was sitting. And, of course, she was sitting with Sam, Danny and Ava. MJ smiled sweetly at him as Peter realized the only open seat left was next to Sam. He gripped his tray tighter, the setup was too obvious.

He could do it. Trying to act nonchalant, he sat his tray down and slipped into the chair. "Where's Luke?"

Sam scoffed and pointed to a few tables away. "He's chatting up some junior he met at Harry’s party."

So that was who he had been texting. Peter looked over to Luke, who was staring starry eyes at the girl across from him.

MJ piped up. “So, Sam. I was texting with Carrie and she said I should flick you in the ear.”

“Y-yea?”

Peter smirked down at his tray, wondering what Sam had done. The butterflies returned as Sam shifted and brushed his elbow against his arm.

MJ nodded and turned to Ava, essentially ignoring Peter and Sam. The food was bland and Peter moved it around with his fork. He was all too aware of Sam next to him, who was talking with Danny like nothing was wrong.

He hadn’t realized he was spacing out until Harry kicked his shin. "Yo, Pete?"

Peter gave him a small smile "Sorry, didn't get much sleep."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Stop staying up so late playing that game. Anyway, I asked if you settled on a school yet."

"Oh, yea. I'm staying here in New York. Full ride, plus... I couldn't leave everything and everyone."

He managed to eat a few bites while Harry gushed about how awesome it was going to be for the next few years. Before he knew it, lunch was almost over.

"So, Sam. If Pete and I get an apartment together, you game too?"

Peter chanced a look at Sam. He already had his stuff packed up. "No, I'll pass on that. You two would make the worst roommates ever."

"But who would cook for us?" Peter grinned, momentarily forgetting Sam was _already_  upset with him.

"Guess you'll starve." There was a moment when all he received was a blank stare before Sam shrugged and left just as the bell rang. So much for getting Sam alone to talk.

Peter clinched his fists, angry at himself for creating the situation. He needed to apologize to Sam before it got worse- _again_. Had he not decided already that he would rather have Sam as a friend than nothing at all?

As he left the cafeteria, Danny pulled him to the side. "Is all well? I sense another rift between you and Sam."

Peter groaned then whispered, "I asked him to prom. And he turned me down. It will be a while ‘till we are back to... normal." Whatever ‘normal’ was for them at this point. Over the last few weeks they seemed to have entered this weird ‘touchy friend bro zone’ _thing_.

Danny placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder. "Sometimes loss is fleeting. Perhaps you will find someone has been looking at you, the way you look at Sam." Danny smiled. "Near rivers, we recognize fish, near mountains, we recognize the songs of birds."

Peter stood in the hall as Danny left. If he learned one thing over the years, it was Danny was able to be clear if he wanted to be. It seemed he only gave his zen advice when he was being _purposefully_  ambiguous. Either Danny knew more than he let on, which was likely, or he was leading Peter to find happiness himself -or some zen monk _shit_. Both were highly probable, and Peter found himself thinking in circles trying to decipher Danny’s meaning.

The rest of his classes were a breeze. As soon as the last bell rang he ran out of his classroom. His last class was towards the back of the building, but he hoped he could catch Sam before he left for the day. If nothing else, he wanted to say bye in person, as lame as it sounded.

When Peter arrived in the lobby, Sam was already there. _Already there_  and talking to MJ. On second thought, Peter decided to let Sam stew in his anger for another day. Because, worse than an angry Sam, was a meddling MJ.

Speaking of meddling MJ… she caught him trying to sneak past and waved him over. "Hey Pete. Come here."

He eyed her predatory smile, debating if running away was even an option. Sam had a similar look of trepidation, and Peter’s curiosity won out. He walked over to where his two friends were standing, out of the path of the students rushing to leave. He forced himself not to look at Sam, afraid to see any anger in his eyes.

"I was going to help Sam study after school, but I got called into the Bugle for a staff meeting. Would you mind helping?"

Next to him Sam made a strangled sound. “I don’t need-”

“Samuel Alexander!” MJ put a hand on her hip, daring him to disagree with her. Even Peter cringed, and MJ’s ire wasn’t even being directed at him.

Sam grumbled. “Fine.” But, as soon as MJ was out the front doors of the school he sighed and turned to leave. “See you later, Parker.”

Again with the last names. “Wait-- _Sam_.”

With an exaggerated sigh, Sam turned back around.

“Can I have 30 seconds?”

Sam crossed his arms. “10 seconds.”

Peter ran a hand through his hair, trying to pull his thoughts together quickly. “Please, reconsider helping with the prom prank. Please. And I’m sorry about yesterday, but, please don’t hate me. And, I’m still stuck on that one level on Galaxy Defenders, and I could use your help. And I’ll help you study, please let me help, and I’m over the 10 seconds, aren't I?”

Sam rubbed his hand over his face. “Fine. Fine. You help me with chem and I’ll help you with Galaxy Defenders.”

Something deflated in Peter, releasing a pressure he hadn’t known was there. Sam didn’t hate him!

They took the Super Short Cut™ back to Peter’s home. After changing back into their civilian clothes they walked in the front door.

“Hey, Aunt May,” Peter greeted. “Sam came over, is that okay?”

Aunt May came out of the kitchen to give Sam a hug. “Oh, Sammy! It’s been too long. Are you staying for dinner?”

Sam returned the hug. “I’ve missed you too. I’m not sure, I don’t want to intrude last minute like this.”

“Nonsense. You’re always welcome!”

Peter gave her a hug as well. “Thanks. We’re going to study for a bit.”

“I’ll call up when dinner is ready.”

Once in his room, they settled down on the floor. They pulled out the homework and laid it around them. “Okay, where should we start?”

Sam wordlessly handed him a study guide for his next text. He looked over it, more than confident he could handle tutoring Sam.

“Where did you and MJ leave off? How much do you need to make up to pass the class?”

Sam fidgeted, biting at his bottom lip. “Look… I lied.” He sighed and leaned his head back against Peter’s bed. “She made up the thing about me failing a class to cover… for something else. But I am _close_  to failing…”

Peter stared at him. “You lied?”

“Technically MJ lied.” Sam bit his lip and looked away.

Peter stared at him. What was worse than failing a class? He opened his mouth, intent on asking just that, but Sam slammed his book shut.

“Look, Parker. I’m trying not to be angry, and not yell, although I really want to, because we’re friends.” Peter was taken aback by Sam’s sudden outburst. Was he still upset about his Not-April-Fools-prank? “And this- this isn’t funny anymore! I’m not some… slut okay? I don’t just run around kissing anyone who looks my way, no matter how tempting it may be sometimes. So I've heard the rumors that Im easy and I've had like 10 requests to prom -and other things- this week which is stupid, and then _you_  ask me? What?" He held up a hand when Peter tried to talk. “It’s not funny. I know you didn’t mean it like they did. But, it hurts? Okay? I’m not just, and ends to a means! And you asking me to go to help with your prank hurts just as much as those only trying to get in my pants!”

Peter took in the shimmer of Sam’s eyes and pulled him into a hug. Sam slumped against him, deflating from his outburst. “Shit, Sam…” He had not idea the rumors had turned to that. “I’ll kick the ass of whoever said you’re easy.”

Sam sighed against his shoulder. “Maybe I am. Shit, the damn rumor _started_  because I made out with Casper at the party.”

“Sam, I’m so sorry. Here.” He let go of Sam to walk over to his desk where he left the tickets. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to come between you and Casper, and it was wrong of me to try. We need you there for the prank to work, but- but, that’s not why I asked you. I- like you- but-” Peter pressed the tickets into Sam’s hand. “I’m so sorry, Sam. Take him to prom.” Shit, had he said all that? “Please don’t hate me.”

Peter kneeled back down next to Sam. After the silence stretched on for a few moments, he chanced a glance to Sam. He was staring at the tickets in his hand.

“You weren't Joking? You really were asking? Me. _Me_? To prom?”

With a groan he dropped his head into his hands. “Yes, but forget it, I had no right to. I’m so sorry, Sam. I know you’re with Casper, and it was very very wrong to even try- so I tried to hide behind April Fool's...But…”

“But?”

“But I like you, _dumb ass_.”

“Oh.”

Peter let his head rest against his bed as he stared at his ceiling. He may as well put it all out there. “I’ve tried to tell you a few times now...but Carrie interrupted... _twice_. I mean, the first time I was yelling, so that was probably for the best. But still-”

Warm, chapped lips covered his, cutting off _whatever_  it was he was saying. What should he do? Kissing back sounded like a good idea. He did just that, _yes, kissing back is_ _good_. Peter raised his hand to the back of Sam’s neck, brushing over the short hairs there.

It was everything he imagined and more. So much better than his kiss with Gwen. It was soft, it was tingly, it was... it was Sam. It was right.

It was too short.

Sam pulled back, "Shit."

"Yea." The dazed feeling in his mind started to dissipate then. It had been his first real kiss. And it was with Sam. He closed his eyes, a lazy smile forming on his face as he tried to remember the feel of Sam’s lips against his.

"No. Shit. Oh shit."

In front of him, Sam was pulling at his hair, he a panicked look in his eyes. His cheeks were flushed red, and, shit, he was starting to look like he was going to cry.

"Shit. Oh, Sam -I'm sorry!" Why was he sorry? Sam had kissed him! "I didn't… I won't say anything to Casper or MJ - shit, I didn’t mean-"

But, Sam had kissed _him_. That meant something, right?

Sam rubbed at his eyes. "No. Shit. That's what MJ was covering - 'm not with Casper." He let his hands fall to his lap. "I just said that to get people to stop saying you and I were- but then - MJ asked him... and she yelled - but I wanted to keep the charade up so people would stop asking me out."

Peter watched as Sam spilled everything while sitting on his bedroom floor.

"And. And so I could try and pretend - pretend someone actually _likes_  me. And so I could keep my distance from you. Because I thought I was over this stupid, stupid, idiotic crush - but then you had to start actually being _nice_  to me."

Sam groaned and let himself fall backwards on the carpeted floor. "And, shit, Peter. Why didn’t you say something sooner."

Peter sighed and moved to lay next to him. They stared at the ceiling in silence for a moment while Peter gathered his thoughts.

"Sam." He turned his head to look at his brooding friend. "Now is better than never, right?" He propped himself up on an elbow and leaned slightly over Sam. "We have all the time in the world to figure it out."

"No, not ‘ _better late than never_ ’." Sam rolled, presenting his back to Peter. "I'd rather _never_. It was easier when I knew you didn't like me back. And now - shit - I'm leaving after graduation. I promised the Guardians, specifically Rocket, that I would travel with them for a while."

"How long? Can't you just like... fly back?"

"Few years. No, it can be traced if I jump."

Who would trace it? Peter blinked at Sam’s back, and could not shake the feeling that Sam wasn’t tell him everything. Before he could roll Sam back over and ask what else was wrong, Aunt May called up the stairs.

"Boys, dinner!"

At the promise of food, Sam sat up. He glanced over at Peter, eyebrows pulled together. "Should I leave?"

Peter sat up as well. "No!" He finally had Sam in his reach, he sure wasn't going to let him _leave_. Slowly, he placed a hand on Sam's cheek. "Can we talk more after dinner?"

By talk, he really meant _kiss_  - but that would probably need to come after talking. He had a sinking feeling Sam was going to be _difficult_.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Aunt May kept the conversation going mostly by herself, asking both teens questions about how school was going. Peter found it hard to concentrate; once the adrenaline and shock wore off, his brain only wanted to replay the kiss over and over. It had only lasted seconds, but he focused on each small detail. But his favorite had been the soft tickle of Sam’s hair when Peter had his hand on the back of his neck.

Eventually Sam was dragging him back upstairs, and Peter tried to shake the haze from his mind. Because Sam liked him. Sam liked him. And had kissed him.

“Webs.” Sam kicked the door shut and crossed his arms. “Can you help me study now?”

Peter blinked at him, realizing he had been staring at Sam’s lips. “Oh. Yea. Sure. Study.” He mechanically sat down on the floor and gathered Sam’s notes. He looked up at Sam, who was still standing by the door. “Ready?”

Sam walked over and took a seat close to Peter. It was too close, or would have been if Sam hadn’t kissed him less than an hour before.

“I’m not ready.” Sam leaned up and pecked Peter’s cheek. “But, let’s start and see where we end up.”

Peter wasn’t sure if Sam was talking about a relationship or studying, but he wrapped an arm around Sam as he pulled the textbook into his lap. He glanced back to Sam, a question on his lips, but found the other teen looking at him -staring at him. Slowly, to give Sam time to change his mind, Peter moved closer. Their second kiss was no longer than their first, but he was aware from the beginning, and memorized every small detail about Sam.

Pulling away was difficult, but he didn’t want to press his luck. Sam relaxed against his side as they settled into Sam’s chemistry notes. Peter still had many questions about their future, and what exactly they were doing. But, for the moment, he was content to enjoy having Sam in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. I decided to save some more of the angst for the next chapter. It flowed better, plusssss I wanted to end on some fluff for once :P 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	15. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to make the time line work I am using the 2012 calendar… if anyone at home cares :P
> 
> This chapter: In which Peter and Sam make more bad decisions. It is a little slow, but I wanted to give some fluff and also set up for the next bit. I love writing Peter being oblivious. I think I can get away with it more in USM since he's younger haaha.

The whole _situation_  seemed surreal. Peter never thought he would get here, _get with Sam._ His mind was still trying to wrap around the fact Sam was _not_  seeing Casper and actually liked him, and _kissed_   him. Peter stopped thinking of himself as being _shy_  after he became Spider-Man, even if had to _fake_  it at first. Yet, his stomach churned at the thought of reaching over and holding Sam's hand.

They had yet to discuss _exactly_  what they were now, after that kiss. There was a mutual understanding that they both needed to think first, which was a good start since they both had a habit of _not thinking before acting_. Sam was pressed against his side as they reviewed his chemistry notes. And Peter wanted _more_. He wanted Sam to stay.

"Sam... don't go?" It was the first non-chemistry thing either of them said in the last half hour.

"I can't stay." The response was quiet, almost distant, and the nagging feeling Sam was hiding something returned.

Peter leaned down to nuzzle at Sam's hair. "Please."

Sam sighed. "Lets... lets just make the most of the time we have."

Peter frowned. Because, shit, he planned he whole life around Sam in the moment he kissed him, and it was crumbling just as fast. "Sam. Sam, no. I don't want a relationship with an expiration date."

It was out before he could stop it. Curse his mouth and lack of a filter. But… it was true. He knew Sam leaving was going to hurt, but if they were _together_  it was going to hurt a million times worse.

"Then why bother even being friends?" Sam didn't pull away, he stayed pressed against Peter.

"Because, we're already friends." Peter tried to calm his breathing.

Sam didn't look up, he kept his focus on the study guide on his lap.

"Hey..." Peter wasn't sure what to say. He really wanted to kiss Sam again, but held himself back.

Next to him, Sam sighed and looked up with pleading eyes, and Peter knew he wouldn't be able to tell him no. "Please? Just until school's out? And then we could still talk while I'm out there, I could stop by when it isn't too dangerous?"

School was out too soon. "How… long will you be gone?"

"Depends... months. Probably years."

Peter threw his head back against his bed. "Sam..."

"Please?" It was said with such hope and sadness, that Peter looked back down at Sam.

"It isn't fair to either of us to get into a relationship we know will end."

"But, we can enjoy ourselves till then?"

Peter shut his eyes tightly. "No." That one word took more willpower to ground out than he cared to admit. He took a shaky breath then opened his eyes. "I don't want you temporarily. I want you forever." Sam's eyes widened at his confession, and it even caught Peter off guard. "I mean, the _chance_  of forever. I don't... I don't want to make out and nothing else. I want the future to be unknown, not already laid out. I'd rather spend the next few months being friends and having fun."

When had he became so sappy? Peter blamed Sam. _When in doubt..._

Sam chewed his bottom lip. "Isn't that what dating is? Having fun with a friend, and just adding kissing?"

Peter hadn't registered Sam was shifting closer while he spoke until Sam's lips pressed against his right after he said 'kissing'. It was a dirty, cheating, no good move, but Peter didn't complain. He pressed forward into the kiss, bringing his hand to Sam's neck again, enjoying the tickle of Sam's hair.

Sam's lips moved against his own, his his tongue swiping across, and Peter pulled back. Their two previous kisses were just pressing their lips together, and Peter was reminded suddenly of how much more _experienced_ Sam was.

Sam's eyes bore into his, an emotion Peter couldn't place was etched on his face before disappearing. He leaned forward to peck Sam's lips again, not wanting Sam to think he was rejecting him. "Let's just, study. For now."

Sam nodded and sat back down, clearly not happy about Peter's priorities. Peter eyed his hand again. Slowly, he reached over and placed his hand over Sam's, marveling at how smooth and cold Sam's skin was. He had done something similar before, but now it meant something- he could _let_  it mean something.

"Oh my god Peter." Sam smirked up at him. "Are you blushing?"

Peter looked down at the book, ignoring the heat growing on his cheeks. "Shut up buckethead. I'm tempted to let you fail so you _have_  to stay."

Sam leaned up and pecked his cheek. "Thank you, for helping." He moved their hands to intertwine their fingers.

They sat there, holding hands as they studied. After ten minutes Sam huffed. "This is hopeless. I can't focus."

"Sam…" Peter was starting to lose focus as well. For him, the material was boring, and, well, he wanted to talk to Sam... about them, and what they were going to do.

"Ugh. I just wanna kiss you," Sam whined, dropping his pen.

Well, Peter wanted that too. He smiled at Sam. "Finish studying and we'll see about more kissing."

"How about, every question I get right, I get to kiss you?"

Peter perked up at the suggestion and he smirked over to Sam, trying to cover up the butterflies in his tummy. There was no going back to just being friends; Peter knew he was going to have his heart ripped out in a few short months, but he couldn't just… stop.

"Just a peck." With Sam's lips on his for any longer, Peter knew he would forget about the whole 'study' thing.

"Well, lay some questions on me then."

Peter scanned for the material Sam was struggling with most. "What type of solid is silicon carbide, SiC?"

"Webs." He huffed. "Uh..uh... covalent... network?"

"Right." Peter leaned over to peck Sam's lips.

They continued, going through the study guide in full. When they were finished, Peter thought he could die a happy man. Even if they were just light pecks, kissing Sam was pure heaven.

"Oh...my. Webs, wipe that dreamy look off your face. Seriously?" He waved a hand in Peter's face. "We _barely_  kissed…" He put a hand on Peter's knee and smirked. "I can't wait to see how you react to _more_  than just a peck on the lips. You're practically glowing red."

Peter growled, "Shut up buckethead." He turned his head away.

"Sorry Pete…" Sam gripped his hand. "We'll go at whatever pace you're comfortable with." He gave Peter a peck on the cheek before reaching over to grab at the game controllers. "Still need help on that level?"

They stayed sitting on the floor while playing. Peter absolutely did not want to _think_  about Sam even _sitting_  on his bed.

Even just a few hours in, and Peter knew dating Sam was going to be amazing. All his doubts wore away. Because Sam, pressed warmly against his side, _liked_  him. As they played through the game levels, Sam seemed to move closer to him, until he was practically sitting in Peter's lap.

Damn the little forward sneak. Not only was he distracting Peter from the game, and ensuring his victory, Peter was also forgetting about deciding if he _should_  give in. Well, he basically had already agreed, but a huge part of him wanted to stand his ground, to demand Sam stay. What would he do, when that day came, when Sam said goodbye for an unknown amount of time?

Peter doubted he could easily let Sam go if they got more involved. He was so close to losing himself already, after just a few light kisses. Yet, would it be fair for him to demand that of Sam?

He sighed. No, he couldn't do that to Sam. He could ask, oh he would ask every day for Sam to stay. But he couldn't make it a condition of them dating. Maybe, Peter thought, he could be such a great boyfriend that Sam would _choose_  to stay.

"Sam?"

Soft hair tickled his neck as Sam leaned his head on Peter's shoulder.

"Peter?"

"What... what do we tell everyone?"

Sam stiffened against him. "N-nothing. We don't tell them a thing."

"So, what, when you leave, I just tell them 'yea, I'm a mess because I got involved even though I knew he was leaving. And I am an idiot, so I fell in love anyway?' Sam..." Peter leaned forward, shrugging Sam's head off in the process.

"I... Peter." Sam pulled Peter's head to his for a quick kiss. "We just... date in secret for now. So, you don't have to answer those questions. And no one will come after you in an attempt to get to me either."

Peter squinted at Sam. "Just how dangerous of a mission are you going on?"

"Don't worry about it." Sam waved his hand, but Peter saw right through it. "And hey, maybe, when I get home... you will still feel the same about me. And we could..." Sam looked down at his hands. "Or, maybe you'll move on..."

A frown pulled on Peter's lips as he placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. "We don't know what will happen. Let's... just hope for the best."

Without waiting for Sam to answer, Peter kissed his forehead.

"You... let's not tell anyone. It will be easier for you to deal with me leaving?"

It was wrong, he could feel it in his gut. But, avoiding all the questions and stares and _sympathy_ , was a good enough reason to agree.

"Yea... our secret. Then, we can tell them when you come home."

A sad smile slowly formed on Sam's face. "Yea. Sounds good."

After a moment of silence Peter hesitantly asked. "Hey, Sam?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Webs?"

"So, you do... you know? Like me?" Call him paranoid, but something was still feeling _off_  to Peter.

"Urgh," Sam groaned. "Yes, hence the multiple bouts of kissing." He eyed Peter for a moment. "I'm not...like just using you for your dashing good looks if that's what you're worried about. I _like_ you."

Hearing, and seeing, Sam be so serious was something new for Peter. He smiled when Sam paused to grab his hand.

"I've liked you for... like ever, okay? Please don't repeat it. But, I think I had a crush on you -well, on Spider-Man -before we met. Then I met you... and that hero crush went right out the door." He squeezed Peter's hand. "I kind of hated you... you're kinda a dick. But, at some point I started to _like_  you, Peter Parker, and I- I doubt my feelings will just disappear because I'm away from you."

With another hand squeeze, Sam stopped his rambling and looked Peter in the eyes. Over the last few weeks, Peter had seen Sam drop his guard several times. But this time, Sam was open for a different reason, and Peter found himself falling all over.

Something in the back of his mind wondered why Sam's confession sounded almost like an apology. Was he still afraid Peter would find something to yell at him about? He tossed it aside, ignoring the odd voice. Sam liked him, and had for a while. That was all that mattered.

Leave it to Sam to ruin the moment. "I swear I'm going to punch you if we don't stop talking and start kissing."

"Wait! One more question." Peter giggled at Sam's mock glare. "You said I have dashing good looks. Is that why you took that video of my ass?"

Sam shrugged, but his blush gave him away. "I didn't do it on purpose." He pushed Peter's shoulder. "Now, shut up."

Peter grinned, forgetting his doubts and worries. It was easy to lose himself in Sam, just a brush of his lips, and the scent of his cologne, and Peter could think of nothing else

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning found Peter well rested and in a good mood. He thought back to all the signs he missed. The way Sam would get too close when they got into a shouting match, and the hurt puppy look he tried to hide when Peter took his insults too far. The lingering touches, like an arm flung over his shoulder. He never thought anything of it. Maybe he _was_  as oblivious as MJ accused him of being.

Speaking of oblivious, Sam was waiting in their usual spot. How obvious had Peter himself been and Sam never noticed? He had practically pulled someone off him out of jealousy. As he walked towards Sam, who was too focused on his phone to notice him, Peter was struck with the realization that he couldn't kiss him at school. He couldn't hold Sam's hand, or whisper seductively in his ear.

Suddenly, the short time they had together was even shorter.

Peter swallowed, he would just make the most of it. After Sam left for the night, he planned out a few _activities_  for them. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince Sam to stay. To jump start the 'Peter is the best ever and I couldn't possibly leave him' plan Peter was going to get Sam the best birthday present ever. ...Once he figured out what that would be. Sam's birthday was at the end of the month, two Mondays before prom. He had just over two weeks to figure out just _what_  to get Sam. And he couldn't ask anyone. MJ would be suspicious right away.

"Earth to Pete."

He blinked. At least he had the sense to stop in front of Sam and not continue into the school while he was lost in thought. "Sorry Sam, just… thinking."

A sly grin spread across Sam's face. "About meeee?"

"Why would I do that?" Peter rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

They started their morning routine of walking to class, keeping their banter going while they walked.

"Well, because I'm awesome, duh."

"Sorry, didn't get that memo." It was nice to be back to normal. But, they _weren't_  'normal' anymore; normal for them was friends. And he wanted desperately to grab Sam's hand and squeeze it while they walked down the hall. In no time they were already at the point where they split up to go to their classes.

"Wait, Webs." Sam looked around them before grabbing Peter's wrist and pulling him behind the staircase.

Peter let himself be led, knowing just what Sam was doing. He grinned, leaning so his breath ghosted over Sam's ear. "You know, stuff like this is how rumors start."

Sam leaned his head up to capture Peter's lips. Peter had to admit, it was a good method of shutting him up. The kiss was over as quick as it began, and Peter growled at the loss, earning him a smirk from Sam.

"Patience, dear Spider. I'll see you at lunch?"

"Can we kiss again at lunch?"

"Probably not. But I'll meet you after school."

They went their separate ways then. It was easier to concentrate on his classes now that there was no pressing drama, but he still found himself occasionally daydreaming about Sam. Lunch was boring, no one really had anything new to report. Well, he and Sam did, but they kept their mouths shut, going so far as not even sitting next to each other.

MJ cornered him after lunch. Of course. "So, how did your ' _study session_ ' go?" Her voice had a sing song quality to it. If she knew her ' _plan'_  had worked, Peter would never hear the end of it.

Peter hated to lie, but, it was for the best, right? "It went. We're talking again, if you hadn't noticed."

MJ frowned, leaning against the wall of the emptying cafeteria. "I thought…"

"MJ. It doesn't matter. He's leaving, going

... home to Arizona. So, better to get over him, right?"

She flung her arms around him. "Oh Pete, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It just… wasn't meant to be I guess."

Hanging out with Sam after school was a bust. Ava called them all for a group training session. "It's been too long. And we are rusty. Missions or no Missions, we need to be ready to go at any time."

She was right, of course. But Peter mourned the time he lost with Sam. Sam, who used his back as a springboard to change direction and avoid being hit. And Sam, who blocked multiple projectiles from hitting him. They kept an eye on each other, blocking, protecting, attacking. It was the most fluid Peter had ever seen Sam fight. It was enthralling, and almost worth trading alone time for.

After practice and a quick shower, Luke threw out the comment: "You two were in sync for once. Maybe if you keep it up, we'll stand a chance next time we're up against Doc Oc."

Ava walked past. "The Avengers brought Doc Oc in last night."

Luke shrugged. "Well, it's been fun. But I have a date with Jess. See ya."

Danny and Ava also disappeared, leaving Sam and Peter alone in the hallway. It was too late to go home and play video games like they planned but, "Sam, do you wanna grab a bite at the cafe down the road from my house?"

"Sure. If you're paying."

The next few days of school went about the same. Boring lectures, easy tests -for Peter anyway-, and a lack of PDA with Sam. Their mini date to the cafe was nice, they played footsie under the table, though neither would admit to it. School on Wednesday and Thursday were equally lacking in Sam kisses, though he did manage to sneak one before lunch.

But Friday… _yea_ , on Friday Peter couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't sit at the lunch table and not _touch_  Sam. He couldn't even lay his hand over Sam's, or wrap an arm around his waist. It was growing infuriatingly more difficult to keep his hands to himself. They made plans for the whole weekend, but that didn't help him at that moment.

Luke looked up in surprise when Peter sat his tray next to him. Peter joked as he slid onto the bench, "What, I can't sit with you?"

"Naw, just unexpected." He turned his attention back to Jessica.

Maybe it was a bad idea. Peter didn't really know any of Luke's other friends. Peter was jealous of how easy it was for them to flirt. Not that it was hard for him to flirt with Sam… but with their little agreement to keep it secret...

His phone buzzed.

Sam: wtf?  
Peter: Can't keep my hands to myself  
Peter: removing myself from temptation  
Sam: *heart emoji*  
Sam: Still on for mini gold tonight?  
Sam: *golf  
Peter: Yea. I'll meet you there

He tucked his phone away just as someone sat next to him. The table had filled in while he was texting Sam. Oh, right. Maybe sitting with Luke was a bad idea, he forgot it was the _jock_ table. And, Flash had just say next to him.

Peter braced for the worst.

"Heya Peter." Flash gave him a cautious smile.

"Uh… hey Flash." Peter eyed him then turned back to his food. Flash had been a little too _nice_  lately, it was starting to bug him.

Luke had a lull in his flirting with Jess and turned to Peter. "You and Sam have another fight?"

"Hm? No. Just haven't hung out with you in a while. You know, you could sit with us now and then." He grinned as Luke rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. You two can't get along for 24 hours, can you?" Yes they could. Especially now that Peter could just kiss Sam and stop whatever stupid thing he was about to say. But, Luke didn't need to know about that.

They didn't talk much for the rest of lunch. It wasn't an awkward silence, just companionable. Which was weird, considering Flash was right next to him. Right next to him and almost too close. Flash's warm thigh was pressed against his and occasionally his elbow would bump into his arm. It was… nice sitting next to his once-bully, being friendly. A few times, Flash turned to him and asked his opinion on something, or asked Peter who was correct in whatever they were talking about. It was sports, so Peter only shrugged. But, it was nice to be included.

"Oh, Flash." Peter waited until he had the taller teen's attention. "The other day, you said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

Flash rubbed the back of his neck, his face turning red. "Uh, maybe after lunch?" He looked warily around the table.

Peter shrugged. "Sure." Leave it to a jock to be afraid to ask for help with a class. Flash had done something similar last year. After a few times of asking Peter to talk at the _wrong_  time, they finally had a moment alone. Flash had sputtered a bit before finally asking Peter to tutor him. It had been very strange, but Peter thought nothing of it and agreed. But, after only one day in the library, Flash went back to his insults and shoving. Peter wasn't sure he could go through that again.

When the bell rang he bolted to put his tray up. He ran into Harry on his way back to talk to Flash. They walked to lunch together nearly everyday, but Peter felt he hadn't really talked to his friend in a while. He glanced up and saw MJ waiting by the doors. MJ, who pushed him and Sam's stubborn asses together. And he couldn't tell her.

"Hey Harry."

"Hey, Pete. I have to catch up to MJ. We're working on the prom committee together…" Harry wasn't enthused about it, but MJ had asked, and it was a great way for them to have access to pull off their prank.

"Wait, Harry." Peter looked back to where MJ was waiting. "Ask MJ to Prom."

Harry gaped at him. "Wha?"

"Trust me." Peter put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry turned back to look at MJ, his face burning. "Uh… you think… you think she'd say yes?"

Peter rolled his eyes and pushed Harry towards the doors. There, he did something for MJ too. Now, they were even.

Peter turned back to find Flash, only to see the table was empty. He shrugged. Flash would just need to get over himself and ask. There were more important things going on in Peter's life. Like his secret boyfriend and their mini golf date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Almost done :) … :( Maybe 2 - 4 chapters left? depending on how it shakes out when I write it (2 according to my outline, but things tend to… happen).


	16. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the wait! I had one of those head congestion colds and wanted to wait until I was clear to finish this (so glad I did, writing while sick is not one of my skills and I had many laughs while editing). Thank you all for being patient, and I hope the fluff makes up for the wait :) 
> 
> Again, thank you all for the support, if I could hug through the computer I would :)

All thoughts of Flash, Harry, and MJ went out the window as Peter and Sam raced to meet after school, hoping taking different routes would prevent any suspicion. Call him paranoid, but Peter knew the skills his friends possessed. After a quick costume change, Peter didn't wait long on the roof of the building before Sam floated next to him. The shorter teen silently landed next to him. After a quick kiss, Peter rolled his mask down.

"Ready?"

Sam smirked, "Ready to beat you at mini golf? Hell yes!"

His body tingled with excitement as Sam changed his stance to pick him up. It wasn't his first time being carried by Sam. It was always a _little_  awkward, given their height difference. But now, he didn't need to hide his impulse to nuzzle Sam's neck, he could grip him tighter, and there was no need to mask the contented sigh which escaped whenever Sam tightened his grip.

Mini golf was going to be their first _real_  date. And they were not taking any chances, going so far as to fly out of the city. Trips to a cafe were easy to brush off as two friends. Video games and study sessions were also a great cover for them. But if any of their friends saw them playing mini golf? Oh yea, suspicion all around.

Only a week in, and the secrecy was proving to be draining on Peter. It didn’t seem to affect Sam, and Peter wondered how many _secret_ _relationships_  he’d had in the time he knew him. A spark of jealousy buzzed through him, and he had an impulse to bite Sam, to mark him as his. It wasn’t the first time the urge struck. He’d had it back at Harry’s party, and a few times again that week. And, always one to overthink everything in his life, Peter wasn’t sure if it was a normal, teenage hormone thing, or an instinct connected to his spidey powers- the later being something he hadn’t yet fully explored. Either way, he couldn’t bring himself to act on the compulsion, though he doubted Sam would mind. Even when they had time for more than a quick kiss, he found himself freezing up. Sam took it in stride, never pushing him, and seemed rather content with the current state of their relationship. Though, Sam obviously had _experience_. Peter was struck with a thought.

“Hey, Sam?” He had to shout over the rush of wind.

“Yea?” Sam’s grip tightened on his outer thigh.

Peter bit his lip. “So, why doesn’t the helmet heal hickeys?”

Sam’s grip loosened slightly, causing Peter to dip before tightening it again. “Uh, I don’t know?”

Again, Peter had the feeling Sam was hiding something. But he didn’t push the issue. Instead, he just said, “Well, I guess I’ll have to be careful then.”

Sam made a sound in the back of his throat that was almost lost to the noise of the air rushing past them. Peter could feel the vibration from it and smirked to himself. If only he could get over _whatever_  was keeping him from pushing their relationship more physical. Not that he was in a rush, he was content just spending _time_  with Sam - the kissing was really just a bonus.

After some time flying, Sam sat them down in a corn field right outside of the small town. From there it was only be a short walk to the mini golf place he found online. After stuffing their costumes in their backpacks, they took off down the road.

Peter smiled contently as they walked, making a mental note to ask Sam to fly more often. Knuckles brushed against his own and he glanced down at their hands. Sam kept his gaze forward, but the slight blush on his cheeks gave him away. After a moment’s hesitation- and just why did he keep getting butterflies- Peter joined their hands together, letting them swing between them as they walked. A contented sigh came from Sam, and Peter gave his hand a squeeze, looking over at him with a smile. Sam returned the smile with one of his own and squeezed back.

They walked in silence, enjoying being together, enjoying not hiding from their friends. Peter regretted the secrecy, but at the same time… he didn’t. For the short time they had left, they had this huge secret only the two of them knew. It was oddly romantic. Yet, sad. And, not for the first time that week, Peter wondered just what Sam wasn’t telling him.

“Hey, you alright?” Sam gave his hand a squeeze.

Peter blinked. He could see the entrance to the mini golf at the end of the road. It was strange not being in the city. There wasn’t even a sidewalk along the road.

“Yea, just, thinking.”

They cut through the gas station next to the mini golf entrance.

“You’re not… regretting this, are you?” Sam bit his lip.

Peter frowned and stopped walking, holding Sam's hand hostage until he looked up at him. “I’ll never regret this.” With his free hand he brushed Sam’s cheek. “I’m just… thinking about you leaving.”

Sam looked away. “Peter.” His voice was thick and caught in his throat. It was the first time they really acknowledged it since Sam told him.

Peter used the hand on his cheek to coax Sam back to face him. “Hey.” He kissed his brow. “I know what it means to you to go. I’m not going to try and stop you… I just… Can we talk about it later?”

“I’m going to miss you too.” Sam gave him a smile and tugged his hand forward.

“Oh hey, they have ice cream too!” Sam bounced with excitement, all tension gone.

Peter chuckled, “We’ll get some after.”

It appeased Sam for the moment and they were quickly distracted by selecting their clubs and ball color. Sam grabbed the yellow one, while Peter got the red.

Sam’s bouncing excitement was contagious. "It's been foooorrrrever!"

The first two holes were short, easy, and clearly meant to acclimate a player- there wasn’t any waiting for the perfect moment, no angles to judge. Neither celebrated their hole-in-ones because, well, there was no challenge.

The third was a windmill, and Peter snorted when Sam rolled his eyes.

“Ugh, I remember playing as a kid and my Dad would always get it through in one go.”

Peter hummed and took his first swing, sending the ball between the rotating blades and out the other side. He turned to Sam with a grin, “Like that?”

“Shadup.” Sam put his yellow golf ball on the mat and Peter stepped off to the side.

While Sam eyed the windmill, Peter had plenty of time to admire him from the side. His sleeves were now rolled up, giving Peter a view of his toned forearms. He admired Sam’s form as he finally swung, sending the yellow ball down the green... and straight into a windmill blade.

Sam glared at him, “It’s been years, okay?”

Peter didn’t say a word, he only smiled at his boyfriend as he moved to take his turn. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d played mini-golf, it must have been with Aunt May and Uncle Ben, but the memory was hazy. They moved quickly through the course, the holes becoming more difficult, and their natural competitiveness keeping their banter alive and fiery. On the longer holes, Peter would catch himself staring at Sam longer than intended, getting lost in the curve of his-

“Peter?” Sam was looking over his shoulder and smirking at him. He shook his rear slightly.

Embarrassed from being caught staring, Peter trudged passed Sam to take his turn. He only made it a few paces before Sam grabbed his arm and was pushing him backwards against the side of the horse statue serving as that hole's obstacle. Peter glared down for half a second before Sam's chapped lips covered his.

There was something thrilling about kissing in public, not needing to worry about who was around the next corner, or patrolling the roof above them. Sam released his grip on Peter’s arm, opting to instead snake his arms around his waist. Not knowing what else to do with his own hands, Peter moved one around Sam’s hips while the other moved up to play with the tiny hairs on the back of his neck.

The longer they kissed, the more Sam leaned on him. The more Sam leaned on him, the more Peter never wanted to let him go. Sam swiped his tongue across Peter’s closed lips then pulled away. That was where they always seemed to end; Peter was still uncomfortable with any more than their lips brushing- though he was working up the courage to let Sam use his tongue. It bothered himself that he was bothered by it, and he was thankful Sam didn’t push him.

"I think it's your turn." Sam leaned back, but Peter's arm around his hips pulled him back. With a contented sigh, Sam laid his head on Peter. "Nice move."

Peter squeezed his hip. "We probably _should_  keep playing before another group catches up."

Sam groaned. "Do we have to? Can't we just, like, get ice cream then make out behind the pirate ship?"

"C'mon, let's finish our _date_ , then we can make out. The waiting will make it that much more..." Peter trailed off, not knowing just _what_  would be _more_.

"The waiting will try my patience. I am not responsible if I jump you again." Sam gripped at his shoulders.

Peter grinned, "Since when have _you_  had any patience to ‘try’?"

With a snort, Sam leaned back. "You're one to talk." He leaned up to place a light kiss on Peter’s nose, then pulled out of the light grip. He bent down to pick up their discarded clubs, handing Peter his.

With a shout, Sam raised his club in the air. “I'm totally getting the high score!”

“Dude, low score wins in golf.”

“Whatever.” Sam strutted to the next hole.

They bickered back and forth during the rest of the course. After some pestering, Peter managed to pull the whole story about the skate park Carrie mentioned the previous week.

Peter no longer hid his… _appreciation_  for Sam’s form, and even caught Sam staring at him a few times. How many times had he missed Sam's stare before? By the time they got to the last hole they had given up on keeping score. They were so lost in telling stories the game was just not worth the effort to seriously compete.

Sam grinned when he saw the sign boldly proclaiming anyone who got a hole-in-one on the last hole would receive a free ice cream. Peter marveled at the way Sam’s eyes seemed to light up, and how they seemed to intensify further when his gaze landed on Peter. His smile widened, and Peter felt the air rush out of his lungs - because that brilliant smile was for _him_.

Sam leaned on his club, his smile morphing into a predatory smirk. “So, we're going back to your place after, right?”

Peter sputtered and placed his ball on the mat. They hadn't discussed the _after_. A trill of excitement ran up his back, but it was quickly replaced with cold reality. “Aunt May is home all night.”

Sam’s face contorted, “Sucks. Well, we could go on patrol?”

Peter eyed the darkening sky, just how long had they been playing? “Yea, sure.”

The city had been too quiet lately, maybe they would get lucky. He blushed as he lined up his putter. _Lucky_. No doubt that's what Sam wanted. And not in the way Peter meant his thought. Lucky for him, Sam couldn’t read his mind. He took the shot, missing the hole. It wasn't his fault - his mind was distracted. Peter let his club fall to the ground in defeat.

At Sam’s smug face he rolled his eyes, pushing Sam’s shoulder as he stepped up to take his shot. “You know, you are far too distracting. Totally not my fault I missed.”

A frown tugged at Sam’s lips before he bent down to place his ball on the mat. When he looked back up a smirk was plastered across his face. The sudden change was not lost to Peter, but he didn’t address it.

Sam looked over his shoulder to Peter. “My good looks are just one perk of dating me.”

Peter snorted. “And the other?”

“Others. Plural, Webs.” He focused back on the last hole, lining up his shot. “There’s my cooking skills to start.” He swung. “And-”

Sam was cut off by the buzzer to the hole. It went off for a few seconds to signal his hole-in-one, before going silent again. Peter threw his arm over Sam’s shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

“And,” Peter finished for him, “you are great at winning free food.”

Sam shrugged, leaning into the embrace. “That too.”

* * *

 

A few hours later, they found themselves sitting on the statue of liberty, their feet dangling over the side with no regard to the danger of it. Things like falling were often just part of the job- and one they could easily maneuver out of. Because they were superheroes. Bored superheroes, who, after hours of patrolling, only found one minor villain to stop.

“This sucks.” Sam leaned his head on Peter’s shoulder. “I mean, did they all just go to another city?”

Peter wrapped an arm around his waist, suddenly needing Sam pressed closer “Maybe. Or, maybe they decided we should have a nice date and focus on each other.”

“It’s almost midnight.” Sam pulled his head off Peter’s shoulder. “SHIELD curfew…”

“Right.” Peter couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“Hey… Pete?”

Peter made a noise of acknowledgment at Sam’s quiet question. He felt his insides begin to turn to ice, a sudden, unwelcome dread settled over him. And he didn’t know why. Was it always going to be like this? Would he always expect rejection from Sam?

“Tonight was fun.” Sam kissed his cheek, his cold helmet pressing against him. “I- I was worried we would… you know, fight. Or something. I don’t know.” Sam looked down at his hands.

“Sam…” Peter wanted to nuzzle behind Sam’s ear, but he was still wearing the damn helmet. So, Sam was just as nervous. It was good to know. He wasn’t alone. He breathed in Sam for a moment before pulling away with a smirk. “We will fight.”

Sam let out a sigh. “Peter.”

“I’d honestly be worried if we didn’t. Sam. I like you. Like, really like you. But we do fight - that’s who we are. And you’re my first boyfriend, so I’ll probably do _something_  stupid at some point or another…”

“Wait- I’m your first boyfriend?” Sam smirked behind his helmet. “So, like, first relationship ever… or?”

Peter blushed and wished he hadn’t completely removed his mask. “Yes.” He sighed. “First kiss too.” Curse his mouth and it’s lack of a filter.

Despite the jokes Peter was expecting, Sam sat up a little straighter. “Wait? Really? I saw you at the party…”

Peter rubbed his neck. “Does that count? I didn’t like it. I don’t want it to count. If anything, I guess my first kiss was MJ - but we were kids and both hated it.”

He looked over to Sam.

“So… I’m…?”

Peter sighed. “Yes…”

“Wow.” Sam flashed him a genuine smile. “I feel like I should make a joke or something now. But- ”

Sam captured Peter’s lips in a slow, lingering kiss. His helmet pressed into Peter, but he ignored it. He didn’t know where to put his hands, the other times he would card them through Sam’s hair, marveling at how the shorter teen would melt at the attention. The helmet made that a little hard, so, Peter opted to be a little bolder than he had been before. Peter placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders, moving them down along his back. When he finally got to curve of Sam’s rear, he stopped, letting his hands lightly rest there. Sam let out a rush of air at the contact, slightly pulling back from their kiss.

Peter blinked up at him, suddenly having so many questions about Sam’s past relationships. It would be wrong to ask, if Sam wanted him to know, he would tell him. It was bound to come up at some point during their relationship… which would basically end in two months. He grabbed at Sam’s uniform and pulled him back to him, clamping his lips over Sam’s. Peter needed the contact, he needed to live in the now, he couldn’t keep focusing on the end, he needed to enjoy Sam _now_. That’s what he told himself, but Peter knew the questions and the dread would return again. They always did.

His thoughts were thankfully interrupted before they could spiral further. Sam gently pushed him back, and Peter readily followed his lead, allowing himself to be pushed to his back while Sam followed, never once breaking their kiss. A thrill of excitement shot up from his toes. Their kiss was still light, and Peter was thankful for Sam’s considerateness.

But Peter wanted more, and he knew it was his hormones, and the lack of time they had, but he wanted to break the kiss, demand they run off and spend the next few months alone, on some island- but it was a foolish dream. Instead, Peter ran his tongue along Sam’s lips. It earned him a light moan from Sam- and suddenly it was too real.

Peter pushed Sam back, panting slightly as they broke apart. “Sorry- I-”

Sam gently cupped his jaw. “I was serious before. Whatever pace you want.” He sat back, giving Peter room to breath. “We don’t have to…” he motioned between them. “I’m perfectly fine just hanging out, holding hands and stuff.”

Peter sat up, crossing his legs. “No! I want… but…” What? But what? “I don’t know, it’s... “

“It’s not like the movies dude. Making out isn’t just…” Sam trailed off. “It was weird during my first relationship too… I liked it, I wanted to kiss her, but, something always held me back at first. Nerves. Fear. Not knowing what to do with my hands.”

Sam reached over to intertwine their fingers. He opened his mouth to say something else, but his communicator went off. “Shit.” He turned around to answer it.

Peter could hear bits of Fury yelling, followed by Sam’s explanation that he was out on patrol with Spider-Man and they lost track of time. He tuned out the yelling, instead he reflected on what Sam just said. It was slightly out of character for Sam to be so… considerate and thoughtful with his words. But he was right; it was nerves- and fear- and lack of experience. It was something only time would fix.

And time was in short supply for them.

It was nice to see Sam's softer side. He kept it hidden behind his bravado and sarcasm, but Peter knew it was there. He had seen glimpses of it before, but having unrestricted access to it… well, he would just need to enjoy it while he had the chance. Before Sam put up his barrier again. Before time was up.

“Well, curfew is officially violated.” Sam stretched his legs which were probably just as stiff as his own. Peter stretched as well. “So, if Fury asks, we were on patrol all night.”

“No prob. Are you going to be in trouble?”

Sam shrugged. “Only if he tells Mom…”

Peter gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Come over earlier tomorrow. We can get lunch before we study.”

Sam groaned. “Do we have to keep studying? It's so boring. Isn't there a way to make it… fun?”

Peter could imagine Sam was wiggling his eyebrows under his helmet. “I'd crack some chemistry jokes, but I doubt I'd get a reaction.”

Sam frowned. “You can't see, but I rolled my eyes. Chemistry puns? Really? Dude.”

Peter’s grin widened into a full smile. “You know you love my puns.”

“No. You are not as funny as you think you are.” But, Sam was smirking.

Clearly, he was lying. Peter was hilarious, Sam just didn't want to admit it - that's what Peter told himself. “Whatever you say.” He'd seen Sam laugh at his jokes many times. “So, lunch tomorrow?”

Sam looked away, “Sorry, I can’t. I made plans for lunch already.”

With a frown, Peter tried to shrug off his disappointment. They would have the whole evening together anyway. “I'll see you around four then?”

Sam shrugged, “I guess.” He made a face. “Can we skip the studying?”

“No.”

“Fiiiiine.” Sam floated up to give Peter a kiss.

It was strange to be at the same height, in fact, Peter found he enjoyed, and preferred, Sam’s shorter stature. After they parted, Sam flew off into the night. Peter watched him until he could no longer see the blue glow of the Nova Force.

 

* * *

 

 

After breakfast, Peter trudged back to his room. It still amazed him how well he and Sam clicked. It wasn’t awkward going from friends to something more. That transition wasn't something he even thought about while he was crushing on Sam, and, now that it already happened, he was left amazed at how easily they slipped into their new relationship.

A secret relationship.

With a groan Peter flopped face first onto his bed. The whole ‘secret’ part of it was always whispered in the back of his mind. This morning it was worse that it had been all week. He wanted so badly to call MJ and lay out all of his worries and insecurities, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t get advice from her -or Carrie- about Sam's mystery plans for that afternoon. Possibilities buzzed through his head, all ending with Sam having lunch with another secret boyfriend. Peter knew it made no sense, but his mind produced the images anyway.

When he returned home the previous night, he had stared at his ceiling for hours contemplating texting Sam to ask him to cancel his plans. He didn't press for more information before, and was regretting it. They had just a few weeks left and he wanted every moment with Sam he could get.

Sam’s birthday was coming up soon. Thinking about what gift to get him _would_  be the perfect distraction. He only had two weeks to figure out. But, Peter quickly hit a roadblock as all thoughts of Sam sent him back on the downward spiral he was trying to avoid.

He trudged downstairs to refill his glass of water. Aunt May was still in the kitchen, having just finished cleaning. She was sitting at the table, sipping her coffee when Peter entered.

“You’re awfully quiet this morning, Peter.”

Peter sighed, “Just tired. We ended up watching a movie after study group, I didn’t get home till after midnight.” Spinning lies wrapped in half truths came naturally after so many years. Yet, he still grimaced slightly from the lie and from admitting how late he was out.

Aunt May gave him a hard stare before standing. “I know,” she said as she opened the pantry door, “you _are_  18, but you still have a curfew. I hope going to yoga with me tonight reminds you of that.”

Peter’s mouth dropped open. He eyed her back as she rummaged in the pantry. “I'm supposed to help Sam study his chemistry tonight. He missed the study group last night and-”

His mouth snapped shut when Aunt May turned around with a stern look. “You can study with him tomorrow.” She had her arms full with a bag of flour and sugar. “And you've been so stressed over this thing with Sam, I think some relaxing yoga will do you good.”

“Don't punish Sam for something I did. He needs help with-” Before Peter could retort further, the doorbell rang.

“Could you get that dear? My arms are full.”

Peter took the offered escape without argument. He stomped to the front door, pissed about his Aunt's punishment. He flung the door open with more force than he intended. “How can I-”

He stopped, staring down at Sam... Who was standing in his doorway with the largest smirk he'd seen on the other teen's face.

“Heyyyy Petey.” Sam peered into the house before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“Uh, I thought you had plans before we studied…”

Sam rolled his eyes as he pushed his way into the house. “Duh. I'm helping your Aunt with the goodies for the bake sale.”

Peter blinked at Sam's back as he followed him into the kitchen. “What bake sale?”

Aunt May grinned. “For my yoga group's trip this summer.” She turned back around to the counter where she was laying out ingredients.

Sam sauntered next to Aunt May, his hips swaying purposely for Peter's eyes to follow. It was distracting. “They are selling them tomorrow to raise the money for their trip.”

“And I'm helping my friend Lucy move, so I'm baking extra since I can't help with the actual sale. Seriously, Peter. Do you ever listen when I talk?”

“Glad to know it's not just me he ignores.”

With a sigh, Peter leaned his head against the door frame. Had Aunt May set this up? Almost as if she could hear his thoughts, she looked up and winked in his direction. Okay, so his Aunt -who he loved dearly - was trying to… what? Get Sam over so Peter could spend time with him? And maybe get the courage to ask him out…

Then why had she basically ground him? Spending time studying was more personal than watching them bake.

“So, Sam.” Aunt May cut the silence. She handed Sam a recipe book. “Why don’t you and Peter figure out what to make while I start on the cake?”

Sam eyed Peter. “No way I'm letting him help. He burns everything!”

Peter rolled his eyes. “As long as I get to lick the bowl, I'll stay out of your way.”

“Deal.” Sam waited until Aunt May turned her back and winked at him. He sat the book on the table. “What should _I_  make?”

Peter joined him at the table. While they looked through the various recipes, he could hear Aunt May measuring her ingredients.

Her voice cut through the silence again. “Oh, Sam. I know you and Peter have a study session tonight… is there any way you could do it tomorrow instead? Peter broke curfew without checking in last night, so he is coming to Yoga with me tonight.”

Sam raised an eyebrow at Peter as he answered. “No problem. I could use a whole day of not thinking about school.”

“Ah, great. I wouldn’t want your grades to suffer because of Peter.” She walked over to preheat the oven. “You _are_  welcome to join us tonight.”

Peter wanted to smack his head. She was trying to set them up. And he couldn’t tell her they _already_ were dating. And Sam wearing yoga pants? Oh boy. He tried to catch Sam's eyes, shaking his head slightly to signal that, _no, not a good idea_.

“Sure!” Sam’s smile lit up his face. “It’s been too long since I went anyway.” He seemed to finally remember Peter was right next to him and shot him a mischievous smirk.

“Great!” Aunt May started up her mixer, the sound preventing any more discussion on the matter for the time being.

Peter looked back at Sam. “Seriously?” He barely managed to keep his voice to a harsh whisper.

Sam shrugged, “It will be fun. Would you rather I go _home_  instead?”

After a quick consideration Peter gave a defeated sigh. “No, you can come.” Time with Sam was time with Sam. Regardless of where that time was spent -or what it was spent doing.

Sam was pointing at a page. “How about just simple sugar cookies?”

Peter hummed and turned back a few pages. “If you want to bake cookies, why not peanut butter cookies? I could go for those.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “They're not for you, I'm making these for the bake sale…”

Peter glanced over to Aunt May, finding her back was still turned. He quickly placed his hand over Sam's, “Please?”

The resulting huff and drawn out “Fiiiine” were both music to his ears. A wide smile pulled at his lips and Peter wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss Sam, to express all of his adoration and affection in a way he never could with words alone. But the sound of the mixer on the other side of of kitchen was a hollow reminder that he could do no such thing. He cursed their secrecy.

“You okay? You look like someone just kicked your cat or something.”

Peter hadn’t realized his smile had fallen. He quickly covered up his lapse with what he hoped was a convincing smile. “Just thinking about how long I'm going to have to wait for those cookies.”

Sam frowned, clearly not buying it. He glanced over to Aunt May, a small, sad, smile was on his lips when he turned back around. “Waiting isn't so bad.”

Peter was pretty sure Sam didn't mean the cookies. Maybe he was right. Maybe waiting wouldn't be so hard. Maybe keeping their relationship a secret would be a thing of the past once Sam returned. Maybe waiting for Sam to come home wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe.

Peter hated maybes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The baking and yoga were add ins- so yay, the story got longer @_@. I'm honestly not sure how long the next chapter will take...I do want to finish this by the end of November, but I don't know how realistic that is haha. 
> 
> I'm not planning on raising the rating for this story. This chapter is about as 'steamy' as it will get.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


	17. Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being much longer, and fluffier, than I anticipated. These two like to just... wander off the outline. I hope you all enjoy :)

Peanut butter cookies, Peter decided, were the best breakfast ever. He nibbled on his third one as he walked up the school stairs Monday morning, relishing the sweet flavor. It was more than just the taste which made it such a great treat, it was who made them.

He smiled as he caught sight of Sam waiting for him in their usual spot outside. _Sam_. It was Sam’s skills which made the cookies so good. And the fact Peter helped bake them made each bite all the more satisfying. Not that Peter would ever claim to be a good - not even a decent- cook, but it felt good to help Sam bake the cookies.

They walked to their first classes together like always. Sam was uncharacteristically quiet, and Peter could tell from the bags under his eyes their late night texting affected him more than he wanted to admit. The silence gave Peter time to think, which translated into _time to berate myself_.

Sam already forgave him for his oversight about the cookies. When they first met -and for a while after- Peter had a bad, bad, habit of tuning Sam out whenever he talked. And somewhere in that time, Sam informed him of his peanut allergy. But, despite Peter’s lack of awareness, and total boyfriend-fail, Sam brushed it off, refused to change recipes, and coyly asked Peter to help bake. Peter was sure Aunt May sent more than one knowing smile their way, though he only caught her once.

He stopped automatically at their departure point, his heart racing at the possibility of sneaking a kiss behind the staircase. Next to him, Sam was biting his lip, eyeing the staircase as well.

“So, I guess I'll see you at lunch?”

Peter snapped his head back around to Sam. “Don’t you… wanna…” he motioned to the stairs with his head.

Sam frowned. “Dude. You just ate peanut butter cookies.”

Oh- _shit_. Another strike on Peter's boyfriend record. “Sorry, I didn't think.”

“Nothing new there,” Sam grumbled. “I'll see you later.”

Peter rubbed the back of his neck while he watched Sam walk away. He _thought_  they were good. Their texting the night before gave Peter no indication Sam was upset. And before that, they studied together…

Peter sighed and began his day, hoping Sam was just grouchy from lack of sleep. He would just have to talk to Sam at lunch. _Sam_. A lazy smile pulled at his lips. There was a flutter inside him now that never seemed to fully go away; just as it would begin to dim, he would see Sam, and it would fill his being with a contented warmth.

He barely paid attention as his classes passed by. What was the point in them, anyway? He knew the material, had already read ahead. Most of the teachers even seemed to already begin to feel the pull of summer vacation, their homework loads were so light, Peter spent barely any time on them.

But spacing out lead his mind back to Sam. Of how _flexible_ he had been when they were at yoga. And the way Sam's breath ghosted over his ear when he whispered, _“I can't wait to see how flexible you are when you don't need to hide it.”_  He found it hard to sleep Saturday night, and, again Sunday. The same images of Sam danced whenever his eyes closed. Peter was thankful he had enough sense, and self control, to not look at Sam often- and making sure Aunt May was between them helped a lot with the whole ‘self control’ thing.

Harry caught up to him on his way to lunch. His feet were on autopilot - it was lunch time already? His best friend's face lit up, his smile more radiant than normal.

“She said yes.”

Peter blinked. “What?”

“MJ. She said yes when I asked her to prom!” He clapped Peter on the shoulder. “Thanks, bro.”

Oh-right, Peter forgot about his meddling on Friday. He returned Harry’s smile, genuinely happy for both of his friends. “Glad to hear it.”

“So, um, I'd like to return the favor- help you get a date.”

Peter’s steps faltered. “Uh, no, that's okay.” The last thing he needed was someone _else_ trying to play matchmaker. Aunt May was plenty. “I, uh, need to be able to move around to help with our prank… don't need a second wheel for that…”

Harry frowned as they entered the lunch line. “That’s, like, the lamest excuse ever. Just say you have to piss or something when it's time.” He glanced over to Peter’s nearly empty tray. “Here,” he said as he put a slice of pizza on it. “You’re more distracted than normal.”

True. Peter couldn’t fault Harry’s observation this time. His conversation- or lack of conversation- with Sam that morning had him on edge. He needed to apologize for not considering Sam's allergy.

“...there you go again.” Harry sighed, “You need to get over…” he glanced around, “you know who. It's not good to dwell - move on.”

Peter grunted and followed Harry to the table. MJ was waiting for them, her packed lunch already spread out in front of her. Harry kissed her on the cheek in greeting, causing Peter to give them a toothy grin. He guessed he and Sam were not the only ones who enjoyed the weekend. _Sam_. He glanced around, but found no sign of his boyfriend. Weird.

Before he pulled his phone out to send a text, he received a shield alert. Well- “Shit. Guys, I have to run- uh- to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” He grabbed his backpack and ran to the detention room before MJ or Harry could respond. Peter shrugged, it had really been a while since he ditched out on them with no real explanation, maybe he would get a pass from them.

He was rounding a corner when he was yanked to the side. His spidey senses didn’t warn him to the attack, but his reflexes allowed him to quickly gain his balance and launch into a counter attack. His punch was parried with a grunt, and he let out a woosh of air at the sight of his attacker.

“Damn Sam, I could have hurt you.”

“Eh, all part of dating a superhero.” Sam was grinning up at him. He rubbed at his forearm, and Peter was thankful he hadn’t put much of his strength into the punch.

“Sam, What are you-”

His words were cut off as Sam pushed him against the wall of the small corridor. “I couldn’t kiss you this morning,” he said as way of explaining his behavior.

“Dude, kiss me later. I just got an alert from-” Peter looked down at the smirk on his boyfriend's face. “You hacked into the alert system again, didn’t you?”

Sam leaned forward, “It was the easiest way to get you out here.”

“You could have just text me.” Peter wrapped his arm around Sam’s waist and pulled him flush against his chest. “But this was fun.” He smiled into their soft kiss, his heart fluttering even more when he felt Sam smiling as well.

Peter pulled back, “We’re going to get caught.” His stomach gurgled. “And I’m missing lunch.”

“Fine…” Sam stepped back slightly. “I’m sitting with Ava and Danny, round table on the left side.”

“I already sat down with MJ and Harry.” Peter sighed. “It would look suspicious if we changed seats, huh?”

Sam looked away. “Yea.” He turned to leave. “I’ll text you tonight.”

Peter smiled and nodded, his good mood dampened by the loss of Sam’s heat. When he sat back at the lunch table, his phone buzzed in his pocket. MJ and Harry were too busy with each other to spare him more than a glance as he smiled down at his phone.

[12:05pm] Sam: Forgot to send this to you. -view attachment-

He opened the picture, already knowing what it was; it was the only photo Sam took of them during their mini golf date. Sam’s arm was around his shoulder as they leaned together, huge grins on both their faces- their ice cream half eaten. Peter stared at the photo, enthralled by Sam’s smile and the way his eyes were lit up.

Another text came through.

[12:07] Sam: Also- don’t forget I wanna see how good you are at yoga when you don’t have to hold back ;)

Peter felt his face heat up. But, an idea popped into his head. A possible solution to the nagging question of what to get Sam for his birthday.

[12:07] Peter: We could take a class together for you birthday ;)

It wasn’t a _real_  suggestion, but he hopped to egg Sam into telling him what he really wanted. He had another two weeks, but it never hurt to start early.

[12:08] Sam: A private yoga class? Maybe one on top of the Liberty dude? ;)

Peter sighed and rolled his eyes, giving up for the time being. He opened the picture again, making sure to save it to his phone.

* * *

 

The rest of the week flew past without much incident. Peter rotated his lunch arrangements again, only sitting with Sam one day the whole week. He spent most of his lunches with Luke, finding the jocks weren't as bad as he thought- or it could have just been because Flash asked them to be nice, he wasn’t sure. Speaking of Flash, Peter was sure he was still trying to butter him up before asking for help with his class… or classes. The request had yet to come, and Peter wasn’t sure if it would. Flash was nothing if not prideful, afterall.

All the sneaking around with Sam at school was beginning to weigh on him. The constant fear of being caught, always looking over his shoulder -not being able to brag to his friends- it was all getting to him. Sam seemed to thrive on the secrecy, acting like it was a game they were playing.

On Saturday, Sam came over to play an _actual_ game. Except, the TV in Peter’s room was busted, meaning they were spending the day glued to the living room couch with a whole cushion between them.

“This blows.” Sam threw his head against the back of the couch as Aunt May’s footsteps retreated up the stairs.

“You’re not having fun?” Peter frowned. He was trying to make the most of their few hours together as possible. It wasn’t his fault Aunt May’s plans were canceled last minute. Or that she kept walking through the living room, giving them no time to kiss- let alone make out. But, despite the constraints, he was having fun. Was being together, just spending time together, not enough for Sam?

Sam sputtered. “Wah- no- I mean- I am- just-” He ran a hand over his face. “I’m having fun, Pete.” He glanced at the stairs before reaching for Peter’s hand. “I just… I want to hold you.” He gave Peter’s hand a squeeze.

“Yea…” Peter squeezed back before pulling his hand away at the sound of Aunt May descending the stairs again.

Sam smirked. “I’m going to kick your ass the next level.”

“...Sam, we’re on the same team.”

“Yea, but my score is going to be better than yours!” Sam stuck his tongue out.

Aunt May reached the bottom of the stairs. “Sam, are you staying for dinner?”

Peter turned to look at the clock. They had been playing for hours already, the sun was already setting. Next to him, Sam fidgeted with his controller.

“No, Aunt May. I should be getting home.” He sat his controller on the table as he stood up.

Aunt May gave him a quick hug. “You know you are always welcome to come over for dinner.”

“ Thanks, maybe another night. See ya at school Monday, Peter.” He waved, then he was gone.

Peter sighed. Atleast he didn’t run out in the middle of a level. He began to pack up the game, ignoring the swirl of emotions bubbling in his chest at Sam’s sudden departure.

“Are you hungry Peter?”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll get something later.” He retreated to his room. He banged his head against his door, “Stupid.” How stupid had he been? Of course- of course- that was all Sam wanted, why he would rather sneak off to kiss than talk at school. _Of course_ , he wouldn’t be happy just playing a game with Peter. How long until he got fed up with Peter’s hesitation to be more physical?

“Stupid.” He banged his head against the door again, slightly harder this time. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking the worst- or from believing the worst. The spiral would continue, as it often did, until he exhausted himself from the worry and fell asleep.

He forced himself to take a deep breath. Deep down, where the panic had yet to reach, Peter knew Sam liked him. There was no reason to believe otherwise. Peter took another deep breath. Sam liked him. Sam-

A sharp tap came from his window.

-Sam was hovering outside his window. Peter let slowly let out his breath before crossing the room to let Sam in.

“What are you doing back?” He hadn’t received any alerts.

“Suit up. We’re going out.” Sam stayed floating outside his now open window.

“Out?” Peter glanced at his closed door. “Aunt May is still home.”

“So? You’re _Spider-Man_ , dude. Like you’ve _never_ snuck out before.” He began to slowly float away backwards.

Peter grumbled under his breath as he raced to put on his suit. When he returned to the window, Sam was halfway down the block. With practiced ease, Peter webbed himself out of the house, following Sam’s trail.

“Wait up!”

Sam stuck his tongue out. “You’ll have to catch me!”

Peter smirked at the challenge. All of his doubts faded away as he chased Sam through the streets of New York. Of course Sam liked him. Of course they could have fun together that didn’t involve tongues.

And, most importantly: of course, Sam was an asshole.

Just when Peter would catch up, Sam would smirk and fly over a building. Peter was fast, but he was limited in his mobility. Sam, on the other hand, could quickly throw himself in reverse, or cut across a park where Peter couldn’t stay high. He lost sight of Sam for a while and had to aimlessly search. It wasn’t long before Sam appeared, made a rude gesture, and flew off. Peter chased him, determined to catch him.

He saw the blue glow of the Nova force dip lower as they reached Battery Park. The sun had long since set and the glow was easy to follow. It looked like Sam was done running. Peter found him sitting on the railing near the water.

Peter joined him, careful to make no sudden movements which could scare Sam off again. He perched himself on the railing, ready to leap off at the first sign Sam was running again.

“Relax, dude. I wasn’t running from you. Well, I was. But I was leading you here. This was more fun though, right?”

Peter crossed his arms. “Fun. Yea. Besides you beating me.” He fidgeted with his web shooters, checking their levels. “What was the point?”

“To have fun, webs. Geeze. Don’t you ever listen.” Sam’s tone and smile offset the words, but Peter felt his heart drop.

“Listen, Sam… I’m really sorry about that. I’m trying- I am. It’s just… hard sometimes.”

A gloved hand rested on his knee. “Relax. I know. I also know what I signed up for with you. So _relax_.” Sam stretched out, aided by the Nova Force. “I can fly us out to the Liberty dude if we need.”

“Lady,” Peter automatically corrected Sam. “Why would we need to go out there?”

Sam played with his hands, no longer grinning at Peter. “Um… well, I know how much of a nerd you are... “ He looked up, dimming his blue glow until it was barely visible. “I was planning on Aunt May being gone all weekend- but her being here kinda put a wrench in my whole plans…”

“Sam, what are you-”

He was cut off by Sam pointing up. Reluctantly, Peter followed his gesture, looking up at the night sky. He was about to question Sam again, when a bright light streaked across the sky before fizzling out. It was followed by another a few seconds later.

“It was kinda hard to figure out a place we could see it clearly.”

Peter smiled behind his mask. “A meteor shower? I can’t believe I forgot about it.” He glanced behind him at the row of benches along the water’s edge, they looked much more comfortable than the railing. It took Sam a moment to realize he had moved, Peter could see the panic settle in briefly until he spun around and saw him on the bench. Peter rolled up his mask and patted the bench, “Join me?”

Sam floated into the seat. Peter frowned at the gap between them, but said nothing. “Sooooo, how long did it take you to… _planet_?”

Sam’s head whipped in his direction. “I know you did not just.”

“No _comet_.”

“Dude.”

Peter grinned, focusing back onto the sky. "I _Apollo-gize_ "

Sam grunted.

They sat together, on the water’s edge, watching the stars together in silence. It was romantic- not that either of them would say it out loud. Peter relaxed for the first time since learning Aunt May’s weekend plans were canceled. Suddenly, the few inches between them was too much, too great of a distance. Peter scooted over, letting his leg press against Sam’s, and grabbed Sam’s gloved hand in his. Okay, Peter would admit it was a little romantic.

“Thank you,” Peter whispered into the night.

Sam gave his hand a light squeeze.

“Do you miss it?” Peter kept his gaze on the sky. “Being in space?”

“Everyday.” Sam’s voice was wistful. “It’s fun to fly around kicking butt here on Earth… but Space is so much more…” The words trailed off, but Peter understood. Space was just more. More exciting. More adventure. More fun. More- “But,” Sam continued, “space is also much less.”

Less family. Less friends. Less Peter. Less safe. Peter didn’t press for more, didn’t ask Sam to say it out loud. He wouldn’t ruin the moment, no matter how much he wanted to talk about Sam’s plans to leave for whatever space adventure he was going on with Rocket and the others.

They sat on the bench for over another hour, watching the sky light up. When Peter shivered slightly from the cold, Sam expanded the Nova Force, letting its warmth flow over him. Peter chuckled to himself as he snuggled closer to Sam’s side, reminded of the cliche ‘guy gives his date his jacket’ move.

Sam’s phone beeped, interrupting their moment. “Shit. It’s 11:45.”

Peter sighed. The best part of the meteor shower was usually after midnight. He leaned to give Sam a quick kiss. “I’ll try to watch it from home- though, light pollution...”

“I should have a great view of it from the Tri-carrier…” Sam looked down where their hands were still intertwined.

“I guess this is it ‘till next weekend?”

“Peter… we see eachother everyday.”

“It’s not the same.” Peter stood, using their connected hands to pull Sam along with him. “Rushed kisses in the hallway are not the same as this.” He ran a finger over Sam’s exposed chin, then leaned in for a slow kiss, the kind of kiss where neither of them rushed, they took their time savoring the feeling of the other. When he pulled back, Sam was pouting slightly. He ran his finger over Sam’s lips. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Yea…”

Peter watched Sam fly off into the night before rushing home.

* * *

 

Peter was proud of himself. His Sunday had been productive- at least in figuring out what to get Sam for his birthday. His homework… not so much. So, instead of meeting Sam before school, he was in the library early, rushing to finish it. On his way to school that morning he sent Sam a text explaining where he would be, but secretly hoping he wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Uh, hey Peter.” It wasn’t Sam’s voice which pulled him from his paper.

Peter snapped his head up. Flash Thompson stood in front of the long library desk, a large book in each hand. A frown tugged at his lips, not from the unusual sight of Flash with books, but from what he called him. When had Flash started calling him by his first name? It must have happened a few times now, he realized, but he hadn’t noticed the strangeness of it until that moment, in the silent library without the press of other students monopolizing his senses. Maybe it was a side effect from spending so many lunches together.

“Hey, uh, Flash.” Peter nodded then went back to his homework. He had just a few more lines and he’d be in the clear.

Just as he penned the last word, Sam’s voice barged into the library. “Oh, hey Flash,” he greeted as the other teen left the Library as he walked in. “Peeeeterrrrr! Dude, why the library.”

“Shhh,” Peter scolded as he packed up his notebook. “I told you, I had homework to finish.”

Sam shrugged as he looked around the empty library. “Anyone else here?”

“No…” Peter had a good guess where Sam was leading.

Without another word, Sam grabbed his hand, tugging him between two bookshelves. His lips were on him before he could blink, and he was lucky his spidey sense didn’t register it as an attack. Peter kissed back for a moment before using his hands on Sam’s shoulders to push him back.

“Sam, you have to stop this.”

His eyebrows knit together. “Stop? How can I stop?”

“Fine. Keep at it. But someone is going to walk in on us eventually.”

Sam sighed and looked away. “I guess we should be more careful, huh?”

Peter closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he pulled Sam back against him for another quick kiss. “Yea, careful.”

Sam’s smug smirk filled his vision as the first bell rang. “ _Careful_.”

“Aunt May will be out Friday night, want to come over to study?”

“Sounds good.”

Peter returned to the table to grab his bag, Sam close behind. “I'll see you before lunch?”

Sam nodded and left the library, a little more swing in his step than necessary. Peter shook his head. Okay. He was starting to find the sneaking fun as well, not that he would admit it to Sam. He smiled to himself again, thinking of the gift he bought Sam. It would arrive in time for Peter to give it to him the following weekend, right before Sam’s birthday. If it didn't scream ‘stay on Earth, don't leave me’, Peter didn't know what would. He hadn’t brought up Sam's departure since their mini golf date, but it was nagging him. They promised to talk about it, but it never seemed to be a good time.

* * *

 

 

Tuesday and Wednesday were almost as uneventful as Monday. Sam had the brilliant idea to meet in the library early every morning, which Peter was more than okay with. It was a good cover- if anyone questioned the time they spent together, they could easily say they were studying. They ran into Flash Wednesday, but he left shortly after returning a book.

But Thursday… their luck ran out. Or rather, it ran out days ago without them knowing.

It was one of the rare days when MJ and Harry sat with the team. When Peter joined them at the table, they were already in a hushed conversation, their heads leaned towards the center of the table.

“Uh, hey guys.” Peter warily took the open seat between Luke and Sam.

Sam gave him a deer-in-headlights sort of look, and Peter took note of his escape routes just in case.

Ava smiled sweetly at him. “You’ll never guess the gossip MJ has.”

MJ huffed. “It's not gossip. I have solid information from one of my sources.” She turned her full attention to Peter. “I’ll give you the short version, since you're late.”

“I got held up in class!”

“Don't care. So. After the whole thing with the video I decided to get more evidence and write a full op-ed on superhero dating. Not just Spider-Man, but the whole lot of them. Who is friends with who? Who is dating who? It's been harder than I thought it would be.”

Peter felt the need to flee claw at his insides. She must have told everyone about the video of him and Sam…

“Well,” she continued, “one of my sources got me a picture of Iron Fist and White Tiger together. Eyewitnesses have told me they are often seen together, even when there isn't anything going on in the city.”

“Uh-huh. And you're going to write a story just based on one photo?”

“I'm still researching. This will be my summer project! But- that photo is about a week old. My newest bit of information is about the couple that got me on this path in the first place.”

“Spider-Man? Really, MJ?”

MJ rolled her eyes, oblivious to the nervous sweat at Peter’s brow. “My best, most reliable, guy trailed them Saturday night. They were racing through the city, though there wasn't any attack… so he followed as best he could. By the time he caught up, they were at a park- get this watching the meteor shower together!”

Peter could feel Ava’s stare and refused to look her way. “And?”

“And? How romantic!” She leaned further across the table and whispered, “I bet it was a date.”

Harry chuckled. “Probably was. Sounds like you've got a great story working.”

Sam sunk slightly in his chair. Blood pounded in Peter’s ears. The way Ava was studying them for the rest of lunch was unnerving. He forced his lunch down so he wouldn't look suspicious, but he knew she would corner him.

Sure enough, as MJ and Harry waltzed out of the cafeteria, Ava blocked his path, her arms crossed. There was no sign of Sam, the weasel probably already escaped.

Ava's expression softened slightly, “Are you okay?”

Peter stopped himself from recoiling in surprise. “Wha-?”

She gave him an exaggerated eye roll. “Danny let it slip about how you feel about him…”

Peter felt ten times lighter. She wasn't suspicious, she didn't suspect the truth. It warmed his heart to know she was worried about his emotional wellbeing.

“I'm fine. Sam and I _have_ been hanging out more… I think it's helping me get over the silly crush, ya know?”

An eyebrow was raised in disbelief. “You are helpless, Parker. Danny’s right. I'm going to help you get a date to prom.”

“Not you guys _too_. I'm fine. I'll go alone, no biggie. I don’t like anyone enough to ask them.” He paused, eyeing her, before adding, “- or to want to be asked.”

Ava’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “It's not healthy to be spending so much time wi-”

Peter jerked his shoulder back, thinking fast. He was practiced at spinning lies. “I’m fine. Sam and I are hanging out just like we always do. You and Danny are together -Luke has someone- Sam and I are the extra wheels right now. I'm not going to make him, like, plays video games alone just because I'm in love with him and my feelings might get hurt.”

“Okay. Okay. You made your point.” She held up her hands. “I would be inclined to believe you if you hadn’t said ‘love’.” She turned to leave.

Peter sputtered. “It's a figure of speech!”

She didn't turn back around, a side wave was the only indication she heard him.

Peter stayed rooted to the spot even as the late bell rang through the empty hall. It _was_ just a figure of speech, right? Or did he mean it? Did he love Sam? He didn't have anything to compare the feeling too.

But, he had more pressing concerns than figuring out labels for his feelings. Ava, at the very least, and probably Danny _and_ Luke, would be watching them closely. MJ had her ‘sources’ scanning the skyline for any sign of hero romance. He shuddered at the thought of someone watching them, and was thankful MJ’s source had left before catching them kiss. Even _if_ his friends didn’t suspect the truth, MJ’s revelation seemed to be enough for them to feel like meddling in his love life.

Peter shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He would just need to put his foot down about the PDA at school- and possibly spend more time with his friends outside of school. He would need to talk to Sam, but maybe they could invite everyone over for their study session Friday. The two of them could sneak out alone _after_.

He rounded a corner into the hallway where his next class was located, and ran straight into Coulson. “Detention.”

Peter opened his mouth to protest- he wasn’t _that_ late to class. Then he saw Luke running towards the detention room. _Oh, that kind of detention_. Peter nodded and made his way to the detention room.

* * *

 

His back ached as he stared at his ceiling that night. Peter knew he would be fine by morning, but it did nothing to ease his current discomfort.

It had been Ava’s idea. And damn it he wasn’t going to give her hell at school the next day. Of course he had gotten his hopes up as they traveled to SHIELD. Finally, their team was being called in- _something_  had gone so terribly wrong they needed them back on the field.

Wrong.

Ava, he learned _after_ their training session, let her concern over their lack of training slip to Coulson. Peter wished he knew _during_ , he would have let her get hit a few times- no, okay, he wouldn’t have, but still!

The dull pulses from his back kept him awake well into the early morning. In a fit of restless boredom, he pulled out his phone.

[3:08am] Peter: You up?  
[3:08am] Sam: yea cant sleep  
[3:08am] Peter: Still on for studying after school?  
[3:09am] Sam: no. but worth it...

Peter smiled at his phone, glad to have Sam there to alleviate his boredom. It would be nice to have Friday with Sam. Their study sessions usually ended with more cuddling that studying- but Sam’s grade in chemistry was improving, so he wasn’t going to complain. His smile faltered as he began to type out his next message. They had no chance to talk privately since the fiasco at lunch.

[3:11am] Peter: Ava cornered me after lunch  
[3:11am] Sam: urg  
[3:11am] Peter: yea…

[3:12am] Peter: So… she didn’t buy into the whole ‘Spidey and Nova romance’ angle MJ was going for. She thinks the opposite… she thinks it's bad I’m spending so much time with you  
[3:13am] Sam: y

[3:13am] Peter: Because, Danny told her how I feel about you… and she thinks it's ‘unhealthy’ and that I should find someone else to crush on  
[3:15am] Sam: bs  
[3:15am] Sam: explains the glares sent my way tho  
[3:16am] Peter: We need to stop sneaking off at school. They’re going to be watching us closer

[3:17am] Sam: let them watch. we wil be xtra sneaky  
[3:17am] Peter: OR! We could just tell them the truth

No more messages came through after that. He checked his phone every few seconds, but nothing new. Peter hoped Sam fell asleep- and wasn’t avoiding the issue.

* * *

 

He got his answer when he woke up to texts from Sam. Peter groaned as he read over them.

[6:01am] Sam: no  
[6:01am] Sam: and im not gunna stop kissing you  
[6:03am] Sam: who else knew you liked me?!!

Peter ignored Sam’s question, hoping he would forget about it.

Per their new routine, Sam was waiting for him in the library. And, true to his word, Sam tried to jump his lips as soon as he saw him. The library was as empty as usual, the librarian wasn’t even in yet.

“Sam.” Peter tried to keep his tone even as he pushed Sam a few inches away. “I’m serious.”

Peter saw a flicker of something in Sam’s eyes before he swiped Peter’s hand off his shoulder.

“Webs, don’t push me away!”

Whatever Peter had seen in his eyes was quickly replaced with Sam’s usual anger- the kind he seemed to reserve just for Peter. He swallowed, unsure how to diffuse the situation before it broke out into a full fight. But hey, they’d gone a few weeks without one, right?

“Sam,” he spoke softly. “If we keep it up, they _will_  find out. I’d rather tell them than have them find out that way.”

Sam turned away slightly, crossing his arms in defiance. “I want to be with you as much as possible. We don’t have much time!”

“And who’s fault is that?” The words were out before he could stop them, barreling out of his lips and rampaging through their most delicate subject. Peter winced, immediately regretting shouting at Sam. Over the last week, they had been dancing around it, purposefully not acknowledging Sam’s impending departure. But, there it was. Out in the open and ripe for discussion.

For a few heartbeats neither of them spoke. Sam continued to stare to the side while Peter stared at him wide-eyed. Peter opened his mouth to apologize, “Sam, I-”

“Don’t.” Sam clenched his hands into tight fists.

Peter reached a hand to Sam’s shoulder to pull him close, but stopped mid motion when he heard the telltale jingle of the library doors opening. He settled for giving Sam’s shoulder squeeze before lowering his arm. “I promised Luke I’d sit with him at lunch and help him go over his English paper.” He glanced to see who entered, finding Flash pulling a chair out a few tables away from them. “I’ll see you after school to study for your chem test?”

Sam shot him a glare as he picked up his backpack. “No. I’ll study on my own, Parker. I think I’ve got it now.”

Peter blinked, was he seriously canceling? He let his boiling rage push down his guilt. “Damnit, I turned down Aunt May’s offer to go out to a steakhouse because of our plans!”

“Not my problem.”

And with that, Sam left. Peter sunk into his chair with a sigh. Okay, he would have turned down Aunt May’s invite anyway- he did _not_  enjoy eating out with her and her friends- but still! So much for being so perfect Sam would want to stay despite whatever pressing Space problems there were. He didn’t know how to take Sam’s outburst, but he wasn’t about to chase after him. If his experience with Sam’s outbursts taught him anything, it was that Sam needed space.

Space.

A bubble of self deprecating laughter threatened to escape his lips. Sam needed _space_. And who was he to ask Sam to give it up? That should earn him a minimum two notches on the ‘worst boyfriend ever’ score board.

He heard Flash cough from his place a few tables over. “Uh, Parker?” Flash looked down at his book for a moment before meeting Peter’s eyes. “Um…” He looked away, “Never mind.”

Peter fought the urge to roll his eyes. “If you swallow your pride and just ask- I might say yes, ya know.” At Flash’s deer-in-headlights stare, he sighed and stood up. “Well, my evening is -apparently- open.”

He paused, waiting for Flash to catch on. When the jock failed to do more than blink at him, Peter ran a hand over his face and walked over to stand in front of his table. If he was going to give Sam space to cool off, he would need a distraction.

“Okay. Here’s the deal.” To Flash, Peter must have appeared to be acting way out of character. “I’m not having a repeat of last year. I’ll help you study- for however many classes you need- but the moment you tease me, threaten me -or anyone else for that matter- I’m done.” He crossed his arms, waiting for Flash’s response.

“Uh. Um. Okay.” Flash slowly came back to himself. “So, uh, where should we meet?”

The way Flash nervously bit at his lip didn’t go unnoticed by Peter. He had seen where Flash lived, and didn’t want to put Flash’s pride at stake. His eyes trailed over to the library’s bulletin board. “Damn. They have a teacher meeting in here after school. I guess we could study at my house. My Aunt will be out, so we’ll have the place to ourselves.”

Flash nodded mutely.

“Okay. I’ll see you at lunch then.” Peter waved as he left.

On a whim, he checked his phone for a message from Sam. No new messages, not that he expected any. He hoped Sam wouldn’t stay angry for long. They didn’t have time for _long_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading (horrible, unoriginal, space puns included) 
> 
> As always, please let me know if I missed anything during my edit :) 
> 
> I kinda wanna give poor Flash a pat on the head and a cookie for being a good sport for me so far. He's the only character who stays to the damn outline.


	18. The Future of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter tutors Flash and talks with Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this finished before the end of November. Guess what didn't happen???? I'm honestly not sure what my update schedule is going to look like for the next month or so due to some personal things irl. 
> 
> Heh- the outline had it at like 2-3 chapters left, and after writing 2 chapters it's still looking like 2-3 chapters left??? I'm going to gloss over some things after the next chapter for the sake of time, and I'm sure this has been dragged out enough lol. 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for still reading!!

Lunch was a tense affair that day. Peter purposefully kept his distance from Sam, which was easy since his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. His searching gaze didn't go unnoticed by Luke.

“Who are you looking for?” Luke bumped his shoulder lightly.

Peter swallowed his bite of lunch a little too hard. “Uh, just watching…”

Luke rolled his eyes. “You and Sam fighting again?”

Peter sat up straighter at the mention of Sam. Flash, who was sitting across from him looked up at Luke’s comment. For a moment, Peter contemplated lying, but Flash was there to witness their argument that morning, and, well, he figured the truth was better anyway.

“Yes,” he admitted with a sigh. It felt good to be honest about Sam- even if it wasn't the whole truth. “He's being stubborn about studying. Do you think I should sic Ava on him?”

Luke let out a hearty laugh. “Sam’s brighter than he lets on- he'll get by without a study buddy.”

“Yea, hopefully.” Peter didn't doubt Sam’s ability to pass his classes. But, it was _more_  than that, and _again_ , he couldn’t ask for advice.

Luke cleared his throat. “If you, uh, are look for someone else to tutor- Flash mentioned he needs help in a few classes.”

“Oh, yea, we're meeting up after school,” Peter responded cheerfully, missing Luke’s stammer. He continued to pick at his remaining carrots, unsure if his lack of appetite was from his fight with Sam or his impending study session with his childhood bully.

Flash shrugged. “Yea, uh, where did you want to meet up?”

“Front steps? We can catch a bus. I usually just walk, but it takes a while.” Well, it would take a while with Flash since he wouldn't be able to use his powers.

Luke and Flash soon became pulled into the multiple conversations at the table, leaving Peter with his thoughts. Their argument in the library replayed in his head. Each time he watched Sam turn and leave, the less certain he was of what it meant. And now, Sam wasn’t at lunch. Had that been a break up? His stomach knotted at the thought. No, he reasoned, Sam would have been more clear if it has been. But… still.

His eyes finally landed on Sam. He arrived late and was walking across the cafeteria to sit with Danny and Ava. Peter took out his phone, suddenly not caring that his vow to give Sam space lasted only a few hours. Driven by his growing insecurity and need for answers, he quickly typed out a message.

[12:05pm] Peter: Hey. Are we okay?

He hesitated a moment before hitting send. From his seat he watched as Sam pulled out his phone, read the text, and promptly put his phone back in his pocket. His earlier anger began to resurface and he shot off another text.

[12:08pm]Peter: Can we talk?

Sam again read his text and put his phone away. He was too far away for Peter to see his expression, to see if he was angry or just indifferent.

He quickly typed out another message.

[12:10pm]Peter: I see you ignoring me

He hit send, then immediately began to type another, fueled by his rage, and desperate to hold onto it so his growing panic would stay pushed down. His first text reached Sam as he hit send on the second. Before he stowed his phone in his pocket, Sam pulled it back up to read the next text.

[12:10pm]Peter: Is that it then?

He watched as Sam stared at his phone for a moment before looking around the cafeteria. Peter looked down at the remaining food on his tray, his appetite gone. When he mustered the strength to look back up to Sam, he found his chair empty. His stomach dropped.

There were no new messages waiting on his phone, and Sam was physically avoiding him. He numbly typed another message which read _‘I guess that answers it’_ , before forcing himself to delete it. Pushing Sam never ended well. He forced himself to take a deep breath and push his panic down.

The rest of his day went like any other day, which felt wrong. Something should be different, something to highlight his crumbling relationship. Yet, nothing was different besides not seeing Sam. He even purposefully walked to where he knew Sam’s next classes would be in the hopes of running into him.

Dating, feelings- hormones- were new to him. The torrent emotions his argument with Sam caused was nothing short of exhausting. He checked his phone often, hoping for a reply from Sam. When it came, he wasn’t prepared for the nausea which washed over him.

[1:30 pm] Peter: …

[2:10 pm] Peter: SAM!

[2:55] Sam: Stop!  
[3:00] Peter: I can’t. Can we talk?  
[3:00] Sam: no now leave me b  
[3:01] Sam: i need 2 think  
[3:02] Peter: What is there to think about?!  
[3:02] Sam: us

_‘us’_

The halls were packed with other students leaving for the day. Peter quickly ducked behind a staircase to calm his breathing. It was bound to happen, them fighting. But the reality of it was worse than he imagined.

Sam was **it** for him; he knew it, deep down, even if he couldn't, or wouldn’t, label it. They were meant to be- and if they were going to _end_ , it wasn’t going to be him doing it. No, if Sam wanted to break up, he would need to tell Peter to his face.

He sent off another text before turning off his phone.

[3:05 pm] Peter: I'll see you Monday. We _both_ need some time to think.

* * *

 

As he rode home with Flash, his hand twitched towards his phone, itching to to turn on it on. He wondered if Sam responded, if he had apologized. But he kept his resolve.

Time.

Space.

They needed them both, even if they were short on one.

He was brought out of his brooding by Flash’s hand being waved in his face.  
“Yes?”

“Hey, uh. Did you wanna order like a pizza or something? I have a few bucks, my treat- you know, since you’re helping me and all.”

“Sounds good.” Food didn’t sound good at all. He felt guilty using Flash as a distraction- but not enough to cancel. And, Flash was benefiting. It was a mutual beneficial deal. Flash just didn’t need to know.

Peter’s thoughts were forced back to Sam when he got home. As he directed Flash to the kitchen table, he saw a small package sitting next to the door. He carried it into the kitchen with him as he followed Flash. He let himself fall into the chair across from Flash and stared at the package- a large shipping envelope.

“You alright?”

Peter gave him a small smile. “Yea. I just… this is a gift for someone and I think they hate me now.”

Flash snorted. “No way. Dude, who could hate you?”

Peter tossed the package into his backpack. “Well, you. For starters.”

Flash visibly winced at that. “I deserved that.” He laid out his notebooks. “Thank you, Peter. For giving me another chance.”

Peter shrugged. “What class is first?”

“Peter. I’m serious. I’m sorry about before. I- I was a jerk. And-”

Peter held up a hand. “Okay. Blank slate. Dude, you’ve changed, I can see it. Two years ago- hell, even last year- you wouldn’t have let me eat lunch at your table, let alone talk to me. Or call me Peter.”

Flash blinked at him. “So, we’re cool bro?”

“Water under the bridge.”

Flash visibly relaxed. “Thank you.”

 

Studying with Flash was nothing like studying with Sam. Besides the obvious lack of cuddling, Flash took longer to get some concepts. And where Sam would get agitated when he didn’t get something right away, Flash calmly listened to Peter explain it in a different way. There was no hint of Flash’s previous animosity, and when Peter spoke he had his undivided attention. It was unsettling at first; he had to rewire years of reflexively flinching when Flash gave him too much attention.

They were halfway through their pizza when Aunt May returned home. They had paused their studying to eat and Flash was in the middle of telling a story from one of his football practices. Peter stretched, looking at the clock. It was nearly 6pm.

“Oh, Peter, who is this?” Aunt May stowed her restaurant leftovers in the fridge.

“This is my friend, Flash. I’m helping him with a few of his classes. Flash, this is my Aunt May.”

“Nice you meet you Mrs. Parker.”

“Oh, dear, any friend of Peter’s can call me Aunt May- or just May.”

After some small talk about her evening, Aunt May excused herself.

Flash nodded and looked to Peter for confirmation when she left the room. “Um… _Are_ we?”

“Hmm?”

“Friends?” Flash fiddled with his hands.

Peter blinked. Were they? He thought it over for a moment before responding. “Yes.” And he meant it. The way Flash’s face lit up made him even more sure. Flash wasn’t going to push him away again. They were friends. Despite their past and their differences, they were friends.

“I guess we should finish this chapter. It’s getting late.”

“If you need to get home, we can always finish another time.”

“No, I’m good for a bit longer.”

Peter nodded and pulled his book back out. As they settled into the chapter, he heard the doorbell ring and Aunt May called out that she’d get it.

He dropped his pen when he heard Aunt May exclaim, “Sam! What a surprise!”

He shut his eyes and rubbed his temples.

“He’s in the kitchen, dear.”

Flash gave him an amused look as Sam walked towards the kitchen. He was yelling as he walked, oblivious to Flash being there. Peter turned to face the kitchen door, waiting for Sam to appear.

“Parker! You didn’t answer my texts! I need help with-” He stopped when he entered the kitchen. Sam dropped his volume, “a chem problem.” He stared at them for a moment before Peter rolled his eyes and turned back to Flash.

“Okay, where were we?”

“Uh, did you want to join us Sam?” Flash asked, ignoring Peter’s glare. “There’s still some Pizza.”

Peter dropped his pen again, grinding his teeth with an effort to not yell at Sam, to not throw him against the wall and demand what games he was playing, then kiss him before he could answer. He kept his eyes forward, “No, I’m helping you.” He schooled his expression before turning to face Sam. “I’ll text you tomorrow. We can set up something for Monday.”

Sam opened his mouth, then closed it again. He blinked at Peter, looking between him and Flash. Then, with a silent nod, he left.

Peter glowered at his book until Flash began to speak.

“Well. Uh,” Flash rubbed the back of his head, “remind me to never cancel on you.”

Peter shook himself out of his thoughts. “It's more than that. Don't worry about it. Now, where were we?”

 

* * *

 

His anger ebbed away about an hour after Flash left. Without him as a distraction, Peter was left alone with his thoughts. As much as he wanted to stay angry at Sam, he knew he couldn’t keep his other emotions pushed down for long. After a few false starts, he reached for his phone and turned it back on and read through his texts from Sam.

[4:30pm] Sam: Hey  
[4:30pm] Sam: I didn’t mean it that way  
[4:42pm] Sam: Peter?  
[4:45pm] Sam: r u ignoring me now?  
[5:35pm] Sam: r u home?  
[5:41pm] Sam: i need ur help  
[5:42pm] Sam: with a thing  
[5:45pm] Sam: the thing is my heart  
[5:45pm] Sam: and a chem formula  
[5:47pm] Sam: mostly the heart  
[5:52pm] Sam: ?  
[5:55pm] Sam: … r u seriously not talking to me?  
[6:05pm] Sam: I’m at your window, let me in…?  
[7:25pm] Sam: :( I’ll see you Monday

Peter blinked back a few tears as he read the messages. He looked to his clock, it was still before 11pm, enough time to talk with Sam in person.

[10:43pm] Peter: we need to talk  
[10:43pm] Peter: meet me at the usual spot in 15

He didn’t wait for a response before donning his suit and making his way through New York.

 

* * *

 

Sam was already perched on the Statue of Liberty when Peter arrived. He could see his glow as he made his way there, and something twisted deep inside of him when it dimmed upon his arrival. He stopped a foot in front of Sam, the blue glow of the Nova Force withdrew further until he could no longer see it.

The day gave him plenty of time to think. To think about his contradictory thoughts about Sam.

“I’m sorry, Sam.” He pulled his mask off, he wasn’t going to hide behind it. “I shouldn't have said that this morning.”

Sam pulled his helmet off. “I'm sorry too.”

Peter sighed and sat down, suddenly tired. “We should talk.”

Sam hesitated before sitting down in front of Peter. He blinked at Peter, and for a moment, Peter forgot what he was going to say. Then, what did words _really_ mean? He leaned forward to close the gap between them, sliding his lips lightly over Sam’s before pulling away and steeling his nerves to say his peace.

When Sam opened his mouth, Peter raised his hand to motion for him to be quiet. “Sam. Please, let me say what I need to say.”

Sam nodded, but didn’t look happy about it.

Peter pulled one of Sam’s hands into his, using it to ground himself and calm his nerves. “We fight, it’s just a fact we’re going to have to deal with if we’re going to date. I’m sorry, Sam. I shouldn’t have said that this morning, and if I could take back my words I would. I- I was afraid you were going to break up with me… and…” He trailed off, looking at their hands, only then realizing he had been rubbing Sam’s knuckles while he spoke. “We can't keep dancing around it, pretending nothing is going to happen, that everything is _fine_.”

“I’m sorry too.” Sam gave his hand a squeeze. “I just needed space to think- I actually flew out to the moon, then to Arizona for a bit. I don’t want to break up- why would you think I would after one stupid fight? Dude, as far as our fights go, that was nothing.”

The sat in silence for a moment before Peter’s quiet words broke the moment. “I wish you would stay.”

“Peter…”

“I know. Believe me, I know. I’m not going to ask you to stay again, but I do wish you would. A part of me will always want to beg you to stay, and it’s going to take a lot of willpower on my end to not.”

“Peter…”

“Just… where _are_ you going? What is going on that is so dangerous?”

Sam seemed torn between staying and shoving his helmet back on and flying away. “It’s… complicated. Basically, I’m going to be helping stop an intergalactic war thing… the Chitauri have been moving their forces around for the better part of six months. I promised my mom I’d graduate… otherwise I’d have left already. They’re fine now, nothing’s really happening yet… just a lot of ominous fleet movements and junk. But, I’m the last Nova… until I find my dad. It’s my job to help protect the galaxy.”

“Can I come?”

Sam shook his head. “No. Dude, if we fail Earth needs it’s heroes. And, I’m never, in a million years, going to let you give up your scholarships- your _future_.” He shifted himself into Peter’s lap, nuzzling his head under Peter’s chin.

“What if- what if I want _you_ to be my future?” He wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling him closer.

“My enemies in space have gone after my family and friends before. If they find out about you, they’ll try again. They’ll use you as bait to pull me away from where I should be.”

Peter tightened his hold. “I can take care of myself.”

Sam shook his head against Peter’s chest. “They’ll come when you’re a civilian, when you couldn’t defend without risking your secret ID. Or they will go after someone close to you- like Aunt May, or MJ.” He pulled his head away slightly to look Peter in the eyes. “This isn’t easy for me either. Don’t think for one second I _want_  to leave. I don't _want_ to leave _you_ ”

Peter sighed. “I know. I’m sorry, Sam.”

“And, maybe we’ll luck out. Maybe it will all blow over in a couple months and I’ll be home, and in your arms, and everything will be great.”

Peter didn’t comment on Sam’s defeated tone, on how Sam didn’t even seem to believe that was a likely outcome. It was too many maybes. He didn’t ask what would happen if it took longer, if Sam was gone for a year, or more. And he certainly didn’t bring up the _Parker Luck ™_. Instead, he pulled Sam back against his chest and held him until Sam’s curfew alarm buzzed.

He grabbed Sam’s arm before he could put his helmet back on. “Hey, come over tomorrow? Aunt May should be leaving around noon… and I want to give you your birthday gift. And, maybe snuggle on the couch and finish that game?”

Sam’s eyes lit up. “Peter, you didn’t need to get me anything.”

Peter kissed his forehead. “Yes, I did. Now, hurry before Fury grounds you.”

He watched Sam fly off into the night, heart both heavy, and light. Tomorrow would be better, and so would the rest of the time they had. It had to be. He stayed on the statue, staring at the stars for what seemed like hours. He had a feeling he would be doing that more often when Sam left, hoping he was looking towards Earth at the same time.

 

* * *

 

Peter slept well; knowing Sam wasn’t upset with him took a huge weight off his chest. The morning flew past, and before he knew it, Aunt May was preparing to leave.

“I should be home in time for dinner. I doubt this class will run late- half of us are going to the park early tomorrow to paint the sunrise.” She bent down to kiss his forehead. “Will Sam be coming over?”

Peter shrugged his shoulders, putting on the show like always. “I think so, I agreed to help him study today. But…”

“But, you're having another of your fights. It's okay, I'm sure he'll get over it. Will you be helping Flash as well?”

“Not anymore this weekend, though he probably will need some help again.”

“Okay, just let me know if either will be staying for dinner.” As she left, she had a gleam in her eye which made Peter nervous.

An hour later and he and Sam were finished their first round of Galaxy Wars. From Sam’s fidgeting, Peter knew he was forcing himself from asking about his gift. It brought a smile to Peter's face and he threw his arm over Sam’s shoulders. Without Aunt May home, they were free to cuddle on the couch while they played; it was quite the improvement over the last time.

“So,” Peter began, as he traced his fingers up and down Sam's arm, “ready for your birthday gift?”

Sam’s eyes lit up for a moment before becoming guarded. “Peter… it's an actual, like, gift, right? Not like… a, ya know…”

Peter frowned and pulled out a small elongated box. “What else would I get you?”

The blush and shrugged shoulders clued him in, and he found himself blushing as well. “Peter. Sorry, it's just… and… I know you aren't nearly ready for _anything_   _like that_ , so, I was worried you'd offer.”

While he spoke he turned his head away. Peter guided his face back towards him, “Sam.” He gave him a soft kiss while he placed the box in Sam’s hand. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

Sam pushed harder into the kiss before pulling back and looking at the box. “You didn't have to get me anything. We've only been dating a few weeks and-”

“ _And_ , we've been friends for years. It's about time I got you a gift.” Peter looked at Sam expectantly, hoping his gift would be well received.

Sam gave him a small smile and tentatively ripped at the silver paper.

“Never took you for someone to take care like that.” Peter’s smirk did the trick, Sam ripped through the remaining paper and pulled the top off the box.

“Peter?” Sam pulled out the two tickets, reading them with a sort of reverence. “Peter!” He tackled Peter, his lips finding his as they fell down on the couch. When he pushed himself up, Sam had a huge grin on his face.

“I was debating between that and Irvine, but…”

“No, no. I’ve always wanted to see one of Alton Brown’s live shows. Holy shit, Peter.” He let himself fall down against Peter’s chest. “Shit, this must have cost a lot.”

Peter ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. It had cost a lot; who knew celebrity chefs could command such a price? In fact, he was saving for a while to take a trip to the beach before college started. But spending time with Sam was more important, and a much better use for his savings. And _maybe_  Sam would want to try some new recipes afterwards.

“It’s two days after graduation.”

He felt Sam shift his head to look up. “So… like a farewell date.”

“Something like that, I guess. You’ll have to fly us down to Philly though…” Peter’s fingers were still in Sam’s hair. “The one in New York wasn’t until the end of July, I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here, or…”

As his words trailed off, Sam shifted again and captured his lips in a quick kiss. He leaned to whisper in Peter’s ear, “Thank you, it’s perfect.”

Suddenly, Peter was acutely aware of their tangled legs and Sam’s weight pressing into him. With the hand still in Sam’s hair, he guided Sam’s lips back to his. His other hand roamed down Sam’s side, slowly taking in every curve, every angle, and feeling Sam’s muscles flex as he tried to get even closer to Peter than he already was. In the back of his mind, Peter knew he was a sloppy kisser and was slightly embarrassed to realize it- but it didn’t stop him from allowing Sam to deepen the kiss, or stop Sam from continuing. The soft moan from Sam was reward enough for his efforts.

Distantly, Peter heard something hit against the door with a dull thud. Then, the sound of something being dropped. With a sudden realization he pushed Sam off of him and to the other side of the couch, frantically searching for their discarded controllers. Sam made a sound of protest and pouted slightly, before hearing the sound of keys going into the lock. Peter shoved a controller back into Sam’s hand just as Aunt May opened the door and waltzed into view.

“Hey, Aunt May.” Peter internally cringed at the sound of his voice.

“Oh, hey boys. Sorry to interrupt your game.” She bent down to pick up a bag, which Peter assumed was what he heard drop. “Class ended early for once, it started to rain.” She shrugged and left the room.

Peter looked over to Sam, silently apologizing for shoving him away. He reached between them and took Sam's hand in his, “One more round? Then we'll study?”

Sam, for his part, looked thoroughly dejected that they were interrupted. “Yea,” he shrugged, “ you're going to lose.”

Peter chuckled, “Buckethead, we're still on the same team.”

“Sorry, habit.” Sam bit his lip and looked over his shoulder to where Aunt May disappeared to. “Um, hey. Sooo, Prom is in three weeks. Do you still need help with that prank?” He sent Peter a small smile.

It was a smile he easily returned, even if it was a little guarded. “Yea. We’re meeting up next Sunday to go over the details.”

“Okay.”

Sam started the level, and they kept their eyes glued to the tv while bits of conversation drifted between them. The smile never quite left Peter’s lips, even after Sam left for the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> If you're interested- look me up on tumblr. [ charlion-em](http://charlion-em.tumblr.com) is my fic blog and [ charlion](http://charlion.tumblr.com) is my trash/personal. I'll probably do some more short fic request things once I catch up!


	19. Dance with me tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom night and some glitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> =.= I wrote this. Why. Why. Some, uh, angst, not that anyone should be surprised at this point. 
> 
> Please, let me know if the flow is... off. I rewrote it twice and it still seems, well, off -but I can't put a finger on it. I am rushing a bit, so maybe it's just the scenes I cut out that are bothering me?

The next few weeks flew by. Between tutoring Flash, and _pretending_  to tutor Sam, Peter had barely any time for his other friends. So, when Luke ‘bumped’ into him a block from school, Peter was utterly shocked- more so by the sling Luke's arm was in than actually seeing him.

Puzzled, Peter took a seat on the roof and waited for Luke to explain.

“So, uh, funny story.” Luke rubbed his neck. “We went out after practice, and, uh, I did something pretty stupid. So, long story short, I need to pretend to have a broken arm.”

Peter pulled his mask up so he could properly massage his temples. “Dude.”

“I know, I know.” Luke gave him a look, and Peter knew he wasn't going to like what he said next. “We’ll have to get someone else to-”

“No.” Peter cut him off and began to pace. “We have too many people involved already.”

“Prom is _tomorrow_. I can’t magically have my pretend-broken arm healed, it will look suspicious.” He crossed his arms, fixing Peter with a stern stare. “Someone else will have to help move the stuff into the building.”

“I can.”

“Yes, and if someone sees ‘Puny Parker’ lifting that much?”

Peter huffed, “Point made.” He resumed his pacing while he thought out loud. “Ava? No, do not want her involved at _all_. And Danny will be playing lookout for Sam…”

“Ask Flash.”

Peter did a double take. “No.”

“You've gotten to be pretty good friends, and I trust him.”

“You ask him,” Peter growled. Before Luke could protest, he had his mask back on and was webbing onto the next building.

Sam was waiting in the library, frantically finishing an assignment, and too focused to hear Peter’s approach. He jumped slightly when Peter’s hand gripped his shoulder, then his eyes lit up when he turned and saw Peter. “Hey, babe.”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “‘Babe’? Really?”

A light flush covered Sam’s face. “Yea, sounds weird. Honey? Sweets? Bah, I'll stick to ‘webs’.” He gave Peter a quick peck on the lips before returning to his homework. “I forget to finish this last night.”

“Aww, did I distract you?” Peter smirked. After a quick training session with Ava and Danny they spent the rest of the night texting back and forth.

“Maybe.” Sam shrugged. “Why are you late?”

Peter groaned and slid into the chair across from him. It didn’t take long to fill Sam in on his conversation with Luke.

After laughing at the absurdity, Sam relaxed into his chair. “Well, explains why he ditched us last night.” Sam shrugged again. “Do you think Flash will keep it a secret?”

“Peter rubbed his temples. I don’t know, I think so, and Luke trusts him, so…”

“Then do it. I'm not going to this thing and have it be boring.”

“The senior tradition is to pop all the balloons at the end of the night. That’s fun- right?” Peter wiggled his eyebrows, “Besides, how could it be boring when I'm your date? My dance moves will distract you from anything else, you won't have time to be bored.”

Sam dropped his head to the table. “ _Peter_.” He looked up, letting his chin rest on the table. “For the millionth _time_ : we're not going _together_. And we are _not_  dancing together.”

Not deterred by Sam’s instance, Peter smirked at his boyfriend. “I think you'll change your mind about dancing when you see me in my suit.”

A soft groan escaped Sam’s throat as he sat back up. “ _Peteeeeer_.”

Peter reached for Sam’s hand. “ _Saaaaaam_ ”

He was still waiting for Sam to back out- to change his mind about going at all. They weren't even going to be at the same table for Prom since Sam waited too long to register. Maybe someone would switch with them.

“Are you still planning to fly back to Arizona Sunday morning?” Sunday was mother’s day. For some messed up reason their school always had Prom the Saturday before mother’s day- probably to keep them all from getting drunk or something.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yes. And again, for the millionth time, no, you can not come with me.”

“Fine. But I want to meet your mom at graduation then.”

“Okay.” Sam leaned over the table and kissed Peter’s forehead. “Such a sap. Wanting to meet my mom.”

“Yea. It has _nothing_ to do with me wanting to hear embarrassing stories about you.”

“Jerk.”

“Hey.” Peter pointed a finger at his boyfriend. “Fair is fair. Aunt May has told you plenty of my stories.”

“ _Whatever_.” He gave Peter another quick kiss. "Go see if Flash is game. I’ll see you at lunch.”

* * *

 

Getting Flash to agree to help was easier than expected. He showed up right on time to their meeting Friday night. Catching him up to speed wasn’t difficult either. Harry laid out the map of the building with Flash’s path clearly marked in red, the others each had their own color.

“The helium tank and glitter will already be there, so you just need to hoist it through this window.” He tapped a part of the map. “Once it’s in, take it here.”

Danny leaned forward. “Once you are back into the main hall, Luke and I will move them upstairs.”

“Okay, bro. So, what about alarms and shit?”

“Sam will take care of those. If we time it right, Peter and Harry can get the stuff outside the window before prom even starts. But, we don’t want to risk looking too suspicious. If someone sees you outside messing with something, then inside… we may get busted.”

Peter nudged his shoulder. “And, no offence, but no one is going to expect you and me to be working together.”

“Okay, bro. I got it. So once it's upstairs, then Peter sets everything up?”

“Yep. The real trick will be getting out before the balloon drop.”

“And not looking suspicious.”

“And then,” Harry said as he stretched out, “celebratory pizza back at my place after.”

Once everyone filed out of the meeting, Sam and Peter took off to a local cafe. They were trying to have one semi-public date a week. Even Sam admitted that being stuck inside was stifling. They were careful about where they went and how affectionate they were- even when they had a booth in the back. But, it was nice to be out like a _normal_  couple. For those few hours each week, Peter could let himself forget Sam was soon leaving.

“So, Aunt May is cool with you staying at Harry’s tomorrow night?”

“Yea, she was kind of excited that I was being social.” He speared a piece of his dinner. “Apparently, hanging with you and Flash isn't being social? I don’t get it.”

Sam laughed. “We’ll, all she _thinks_ we do is study and play video games. So, yea.”

“Maybe we _should_  hang out with our friends more.”

“Oh yes, let's just ask Danny and Ava to go on a double date.”

“More like have a movie marathon? Or go ride go carts or something?”

Sam raised one shoulder in a half shrug. “ _Okay_ , I guess that would be fun.”

“Sooo, no flowers tomorrow then?”

He received a glare in return. “Back to this? _Peter_. Please don’t make me regret going tomorrow.”

Peter took his hand in his. “I can’t wait to see you in a suit.”

“Ditto…”

* * *

 

Well, Sam in a suit turned out to be _quite_ the experience.

Peter and Harry were able to get the tank into position below the bathroom without a hitch. When they came back around to the front of the building, the line to get inside was just about gone. After getting through the ‘security’, which was basically checking their student ID and making sure they didn't have any stink bombs, they made their way inside. Harry pointed to their table where MJ was waiting for him. But Peter had his eyes locked elsewhere.

“Whoa.”

Harry followed his line of sight to where Sam was standing, surrounded by various classmates- all who were single. To Peter, Sam was a vision. He was decked out in a charcoal black suit and he look positively suave. Peter was overcome by the urge to push all of the suitors away and tear the cloth off of Sam- _and bad thoughts, bad thoughts_! He shook himself out of it.

“Peeetey. Earth to Petttteee.” A hand waved in front of his face. “Dude. I thought you were going to let it go.”

“It’s not that easy.”

Harry chuckled at his breathless declaration. “Well, if those vultures have their way, he’ll be off the market by the end of dinner.”

Peter grumbled as they took their seats. Sam _was_  off the market. From his place between Harry and Flash, he had a great view of Sam- and the people hitting on him. He blocked out the conversations at his table, watching Sam take his seat next to someone he distantly recognized as being in the school’s band. He was objectively good looking -- and did he just put his hand on Sam’s thigh? On his _boyfriend’s_ thigh? A spike of jealousy surged through him, something he hadn’t felt since Harry's party.

Sam grabbed the guy’s wrist and moved his hand back up to the table. Peter saw his lips move, probably to say something not-very-nice. Danny and Ava soon joined Sam’s table, which was a relief, at least Sam knew someone at his table.

Harry rammed his elbow into Peter. “Dude,” came his harsh whisper, “let it go.”

Peter groaned. He wasn’t going to hear the end of it. How could he _pretend_  Sam wasn’t the most handsome, most breathtaking, person in the hall? That Sam wasn’t stealing his breath every time he looked at him? Or, hide his disappointment that Sam hadn’t noticed he was there?

The girl on Sam’s other side leaned towards him, clearly saying something flirty as she played with her hair. He could practically hear Sam’s groan as threw his head back and stood from the table. Ava was stifling her laughter behind her hand as Sam walked out of the hall, towards the bathrooms.

Peter’s phone buzzed in his pocket a few moments later.

Sam: Dude. Suck. ru here? people keep acting like im a piece of meat  
Peter: I’m two table’s behind you. Been watching you, you look amazing  
Sam: Creep (heart emoji)  
Peter: If you dance with me it will keep them away  
Sam: Not this again  
Peter: Offer still stands

Sam walked back into the hall, taking Peter’s breath away when he locked eyes with him. It really was a wonder he was getting any oxygen at all. Harry kicked him under the table. “Stooop.”

Soon, dinner was served and he could hear various classmates voicing concerns over the ‘messy gravy’ and how it may ruin their ‘finery’- whatever that meant. Peter forced himself to ignore Sam and interact with his friends at his table.

Luke brought up the topic of college and everyone shared, except Flash. MJ, ever the journalist, couldn’t let him get away without answering. Or, maybe it said something about Flash being accepted by his friends since they wanted to include him.

“So, Flash. What are you plans for after school?”

“Oh, uh…” Flash looked down at his plate. “Probably get a job, I guess. I don’t know. I can’t afford not to.”

Peter was probably the only one at the table who knew about Flash’s home life- and Flash didn’t even _know_ he knew. Shit. “Hey, the community college offers cheaper classes… you could always go to school part time while you work.”

Flash looked up at him. “You think- - ** _I_** could go to college?”

“Of course. I can help you if you need since I’m staying in the city.”

“Thanks, bro.” Flash was giving him a sort of adoring look Peter _usually_  saw as Spider-Man. It was a little unnerving to have it directed at Peter Parker.

His phone buzzed in his pocket again.

Sam: heading out to flip the security.  
Peter: good luck

Coulson appeared on the raised stage. “Dancing will begin momentarily…” then he launched into a speech Peter tuned out.

He looked up to see Sam and Danny slipping out of the hall. No one seemed to notice, all eyes were on Coulson. It was the perfect opportunity.

Sam was back in the hall within three minutes, looking, if it was even possible, more suave than when he left. He had on his _‘I just did something that’s against the rules and got away with it_ ’ smirk. No one seemed to notice his absence, if they did they didn’t question it, they were too busy finding dance partners as the music started to play.

Danny slipped back in as well, if Peter hadn’t been watching, he would never have noticed him in the shadows. He and Sam shared a few words, then Danny was whisking Ava onto the dance floor.

Flash was the only person still sitting at his table and he motioned for him to join Sam by the wall. He was up next if Sam had succeed.

Sam’s smirk was gone by the time they walked over to him. They were far enough away so no one could hear, but close enough to not look suspicious- at least, Peter hoped.

“The system reset, I need to go back in about fifteen or twenty minutes.”

Flash shrugged. “No biggie. You guys built extra time in for stuff like this, bro.”

Sam shrugged, “Yea, but the sooner we get the helium tank in, the sooner I can _leave_.” He pulled at his shirt collar.

“Whatever, bro. I’m hitting the dance floor.” Flash paused for a moment before turning to leave.

Peter grabbed Sam’s elbow. “Dance with me?”

Sam ripped his elbow out of Peter’s hand. “No!” He crossed his arms and hissed, “I told you. _No_.”

Peter blinked at his boyfriend, confused by the sudden bite in his words. “Okay, Okay.” He looked behind him at their classmates having fun. “Are you okay if I dance?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t care. I don’t even want to _be_  here.” He walked passed Peter to his table, where he proceeded to take out his phone and ignore everything- and everyone.

Peter sighed again before moving to the dance floor. It didn’t take him long to dance his way over to where MJ and Harry were dancing --wait, _was_ that dancing? He joined the fray, moving to the fast beat of the music. It wasn’t as tight of a dance floor as Harry’s birthday party, he had room to move, but the press of bodies was still ever present. After the second song, a slower song began to play and he reluctantly walked off the dance floor. He looked over to Sam to find him still playing on his phone. Peter’s shoulders slumped, he may as well join him.

A hand on his elbow made him pause at the edge of the dance floor. He turned around to find Flash standing behind him. He quickly removed his hand from Peter’s elbow, looking away as he did so. “Um, hey bro. Um, I was wondering-- I mean-- I overheard you asking Sam to dance… and, um, would you like to dance with _me_?”

Peter blinked at his friend. What? Did Flash Thompson just ask him, Peter Parker, to… _dance_? And shit, how much had he heard?

His silence was taken as a rejection and Flash swiped a hand over his face. “Oh, of course not. Shit. Sorry bro. I uh…”

“Sure.” The words were out of his mouth before he could register what he was saying.

Flash’s face lit up, “Really?”

Peter nodded, “Yes, but, won’t people, you know, talk?”

“Let them talk. They were bound to find out at some point, may as well be on my terms. Not like they’ll care.”

A smile tugged at Peter’s lips as another slow song started. He followed Flash back out to the dance floor. Confusion washed over him when butterflies pooled in his stomach; Sam was the only one who ever made him feel that way.

He turned to see if Sam may have changed his mind and wanted to dance, but his face was still glued to his phone with no acknowledgment to the world around him. No acknowledgment of _Peter_.

Flash’s hand on his back was large and warm, his movements were stiff and almost clumsy, and Peter could sense his nervousness as they moved slowly to the music. He didn't register what song was playing, only that it was slow, and soothing. The butterflies didn’t leave, and only increased the longer they danced. What did it mean- he didn’t have much to compare it to, just MJ, Sam, and his quick, fast, dance with Gwen. So why was Flash causing this reaction? He'd never looked at his bully-turned-friend that way before, never found himself staring like he did with Sam. So why? And speaking of why… why him? Why, out of everyone, did Flash ask _him_ to dance?

He chanced a glance around him and found no one seemed to be watching them- no one cared that nerdy Parker was dancing with Flash. The rumor mills were sure to be fired up come Monday. _Perhaps_ , he thought, I should make it clear we're just friends.

His focus returned to Flash. The blonde teen was staring down at him with a sparkle in his eye, and looking almost afraid he was imagining Peter, like he may disappear at any moment. It was strange being the shorter person; not strange in a bad way, but different. Was this how Sam felt when he held him close? Warm and protected, and completely enveloped by another's presence in a way which relaxed his taught muscles and made him want to push closer into the other.

“Thank you, Peter. For everything. I can't believe you gave me a second chance.”

Peter pulled himself from his thoughts, surprised at just how far he took his musings. “Hey, we covered that. Water under the bridge.”

“Yea, but… still. You could have just ignored me. You didn't have to-”

“Flash.” Peter cut him off. “Stop ruining the dance.”

It earned him a lopsided smile. Flash moved closer, the hand on Peter’s back large and warm. The closeness caused Peter's hand on Flash to slide down his shoulder blade. They didn’t speak for the rest of the dance, content to sway together to the soft melody.

 

As the song ended, Peter's mind connected the dots on various things over the last month. Danny’s suggestion that someone else was looking his way, Luke pushing him to tutor him, Ava trying to set him up with someone. They all saw what he hadn’t. Flash _liked_ him. Not that it mattered if he figured it out or not, because Flash was leaning towards him, and he realized at the last second he was staring into his eyes, lost in the hope and tenderness directed at him.

He pulled back, using his palm to push Flash away slightly, shattering _whatever_  sort of moment that had been.

“Sorry.” Peter shook his head. He had been so lost in his thoughts, in the feeling of having _someone_  hold him, that he let it go too far. And he found a part of him was disappointed that he stopped Flash.

“No, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed…” Flash looked away as he stepped out of Peter’s personal space. “We’re still cool though, right?”

Peter grinned, though he didn’t feel it. “Yea, _bro_. No worries…” He sighed, it had to have been long enough for Sam to try the system again. He turned around, finding Sam staring right at them. They stared at each other for a few heartbeats, before Sam stood up and made towards the exit.

“Shit.” Peter pushed everything else from his mind. Flash, the prank, his friends- they could wait. But Sam, _his_ Sam, was running from him and nothing was going to keep him from catching him. Not even the school attendant who warned him that once he left the building he would not be readmitted.

He burst out the front doors to find Sam had paused at the bottom of the stairs.

“Sam.” Peter pulled him to his chest. “It was just a dance.”

Sam pulled away, “was it?”

Was it? It was for Peter, but it must have been more for Flash. “You said you'd be fine if I danced without you… I didn't _know_  Flash was going to try to kiss me!”

“You didn't seem to mind.” Sam turned away from him. “You'd be better off with him.”

Peter raked a hand through his hair. “Sam. I want _you_.” He jerked him back around, claiming his lips before he could retort. Peter poured himself into the kiss, ignoring his lack of skill, his lack of _finesse_. He poured his longing, his fear, his insecurities -and his _love_ \- into the kiss. The feel of Sam under his fingertips was more real, more invigorating, than dancing with Flash, or anyone else, could ever be.

It wasn’t until he heard a sharp intake of breath from behind him that Peter realized Sam wasn’t kissing him back. At the sound, Peter pulled away, but he didn’t turn around. His eyes searched Sam’s, silently willing him to understand the love Peter couldn’t yet put into words.

Wide green eyes darted to looked behind him, and all Peter could see in Sam was betrayal. Betrayal that Peter kissed him in the open, that they were seen. Betrayal at Peter dancing with the very person who caught them.

“Sam.” It was barely a whisper.

Sam’s eyes darted back to him as he took a step backwards. Then another. Then he was turning and running away, and Peter was rooted to the ground, unable to muster the strength to follow him.

“Peter?”

He forced himself to turn to Flash. “Don’t.”

“I- I'm sorry, I didn’t think you two were…”

Peter turned his head back in the direction Sam went, clamping his eyes shut. “We're _not_ ” It hurt to say, hurt to lie, hurt to stand there while Sam ran away. Hurt to admit that they really _weren't_  anything as far as anyone else would ever know.

Flash snorted. “From what I just saw, it looks like you _are_ ”

Peter cringed. “He doesn't want anyone to know.” Well, now _Flash_  knew. But, it was nice to finally confide in someone.

Flash gaped at him, looking like Peter had physically hit him.

“I… It's complicated.”

“You should go talk to him, bro.”

Peter sighed. “The others need-”

“Go, Peter… I'll tell the others Sam bailed and you went after him. We'll find a work around.” He placed a warm hand on Peter’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze before pushing him in the direction Sam ran. “For the record, you deserve better.”

Peter stayed rooted to the spot for a few seconds before turning around to Flash, but he was gone. He wondered how he planned to reenter the building, but pushed it to the back of his mind as he started in the direction Sam went.

* * *

 

While he searched the city for Sam, Peter had plenty of time to think. And, as always, letting himself think turned to over thinking, self doubts, and self loathing. Dancing with Flash hadn’t  _meant_  anything. It was nice to dance, dammit, he had wanted to dance! Then Flash put himself out there, in front of everyone. And was Sam right? Would he be better off with Flash? Flash who bullied him all through school? He could look past it and be friends, but  _boy_ friends? Could he date his childhood bully?

It didn't matter. He wanted Sam. But, when Sam was gone… what then?

After exhausting all other options, Peter went to the statue of liberty. Sam wasn’t there, but, he wasn’t anywhere else and it was the one place Peter felt _okay_. He pulled out his phone to check for messages. All of his calls to Sam went straight to voicemail, and he hadn't received any texts back. He ignored the messages from his friends, they could wait.

 _Oh, how he fucked up_. He looked up to the stars, taking solace their dim lights. He allowed himself to drift off, basking in the soothing glow of the stars above him.

He wasn't sure how long he was out, but he awoke to a bright light hovering over him.

“Sam?”

The light dimmed as Sam lowered himself into a sitting position. Peter forced himself up to his elbows and removed his mask.

“I looked everywhere…”

“Moon.”

The one word, spoken stiffly, was all Sam offered as an explanation. Just one word. But, it was so much _more_  than just one word. Because, it meant Sam hadn’t even been on Earth. All of that searching… he could have searched for days and never found him. That was what their future was going to be. Sam would be in space. And, no matter how hard Peter searched, he would never find him. He would be out of reach, and Peter would be powerless to find him.

It all hit him at once. He was going to lose Sam to the vastness of space with no way to reach out, no way to let him know he still cared.

Peter pushed himself forward into Sam’s chest, his soft wail muffled by the Nova suit. A pair of strong arms wrapped around him without hesitation. He let himself cry, let the tears flow freely as Sam held him to his chest. He didn’t need someone taller than him to feel safe and secure- he just needed _Sam_. He pushed his head harder into Sam's chest as he clung to the Nova suit. It wasn’t until he stopped shaking that Sam spoke, or maybe he hadn’t heard, he had no concept of how long Sam had been holding him. 

“Pete…” Sam rubbed his hands in small circles on Peter’s back. “Please don’t cry.”

With another sniffle, Peter tilted his head so Sam could hear him. His voice was strained from crying, his throat clenched as he tried to force out the words. “Don’t run away like that.”

A tingle of energy ran through him when Sam removed his helmet. His suit dematerialized under Peter, leaving Sam in his prom attire. “Sorry. Shit.” Sam folded himself over Peter, completely enveloping him in his arms. Peter could feel him begin to shake and his next words were wet and raw. “I- it hit me when I saw you dancing. You’re going to be with other people when I leave. Someone else will make you happy.”

“No!” Peter buried himself harder into Sam’s chest. “I only want you. _Only_ you.”

“If I’m gone for-”

“I’ll wait forever.”

Peter felt, more than heard, Sam sigh. After what felt like hours of laying in Sam's arms, the shorter teen spoke. “Do you want to get something to eat?”

“No.” Peter nuzzled into Sam. “Can we just stay here?” His breathing was returning to normal. “Just, stay?”

Sam held him close for a few more minutes before pushing him up. “Hey.” Sam cupped his face in his hands, tracing his tear trails with his thumbs. “I'm sorry I ran away.” He placed a feather light kiss to Peter’s lips. “I… you're the first person I've really… felt this way about. Okay? I'm sorry. It's not fair to you, I should have talked instead of running…”

“Sam.” Peter didn’t know what to say. “I guess… we're just going to have to figure it out together.”

“Yea. Together.” Sam smiled up at him. Now that they were standing, he was back to being the shorter one, and Peter preferred it over Flash’s taller frame. “So,” Sam smirked, trying to lighten the mood. “Like my suit?”

“You have no idea what seeing you tonight did to me.”

“You looked pretty good yourself.”

“I'm not the one who was being fawned over.”

Sam looked away. “Because, they thought you were with Flash. Chris made a comment about it when you first started dancing.”

So, Sam _had_  watched the whole thing? “W-what did you tell him?”

“That you wouldn't date someone so boorish.”

Peter pulled Sam close. “I'm dating you, aren't I?”

Sam pulled his head back to look Peter in the eyes. “Let's dance.”

“What?”

“I'm still in my suit. You're hot. Let's dance.” He pulled out his phone, typed a few things, then a soft melody drifted from its speakers. Sam wrapped himself in Peter.

When his hands were in place on Sam, Peter felt him relax under his touch. It wasn't in front of the school, but dancing with Sam to the slow beat was magical regardless. The butterflies were back, the happy buzz that came whenever Sam was this close. This is what he wanted, this is what he would always want; Sam, in his arms, he really couldn't ask for more. They danced, slowly swaying together under the stars for several songs.

“The others are probably worried.”

Sam’s head was resting on his shoulder, most of his weight on Peter. “Yea.”

They danced together until the song ended. “They're going to be pissed at me.”

“At us.” Peter held him close. “Flash said he'd cover for us, hopefully he was able to minimize the damage.”

“So, Flash knows.” It wasn’t a question. Flash had seen them.

“He said he won't say anything.”

Sam snorted. “I’m going to head to my Mom's tonight. You… you go hang with Harry and the others. Patch up what you can… I’m okay taking the blame.”

“Sam.” Peter held him firmly against him, unwilling to let him go.

* * *

 

Harry was more worried than angry when he showed up at his front door. It was nearly two in the morning by the time Sam flew off to Arizona. At least now that Sam was 18 his SHIELD curfew was lifted (within reason) and they no longer had to watch the clock.

“Pete. Shit, we were worried.” He pulled Peter into his living room where only Danny was currently sitting on the couch. “Everyone else is basically asleep..”

“I’m sorry I bailed on you guys.” They worked so hard on their prank. For him to just run out without an explanation- then not answer his phone? Just sign him up for the ‘worst friend ever’ award.

“No, it’s okay… Flash filled us in. I’m just… worried about you.” He pushed Peter down on the couch. “You’ve been spending so much time with Sam… and after everything, I think you need to let it go. It’s not healthy, Peter.”

“Not this aga- okay, I’ll tell you the same I told Ava: I’m fine. I can hang out with Sam, and be friends with Sam, all without hurting my feelings -or whatever.”

Harry didn’t seem impressed. “Yet, you don’t have time for me. Or MJ.” He looked up at the ceiling. “You’re _always_  with Sam. It’s not healthy.”

“I’ve been tutoring Flash too…”  
“That’s another thing. You led the poor guy on!”

Peter held up his hands. “Whoa- I had _no_  clue he _liked_  me. Like, _like_  me _like_  me.” Had Flash really been giving him signals? Shit, he was bad at this.

“So, what happened tonight?”

“I- what did Flash already tell you?”

“That he heard you get shut down by Sam. That you two danced after you and Sam argued, that he tried to kiss you.” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don’t turn Flash down because you’re still hung up on Sam. Give him a _chance_.”

Was this really happening? “I don’t like Flash like that.”

Harry eyed him. “Could have fooled me.” He stood and walked towards his room.

Peter gaped at Harry’s back then turned to Danny. The monk had been quiet so far, did Danny think the same as Harry?

When Harry’s door closed, Danny spoke up. “Your inability to let go caused Sam to abandon his post. Your jealousy over his suitors made you act out of turn. We are worried about you… and, will your friendship truly survive if you continue to pressure him as such?”

“You make it sound so easy. That I can just walk away.”

“The bitterness does not suit you, Spider.” Danny laid a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Talk to me. Let me help you move on. Why do you hold so strongly to this?”

“Because, I love him.” Peter sucked in a breath, willing the words to return. He snapped his mouth closed. He loved Sam. He had not fully admitted it to himself yet, let alone said it aloud. And now, Danny deserved an explanation.

“ _Peter_. This is-”

“Stop.” Peter threw his head back against the couch. “We’re dating. _Shit_.” He ran his palms over his face. This was not happening, he was _not_  betraying Sam’s trust twice in the same night. Well, technically it _was_  the next day.

Danny eyed him for a moment before pulling his legs onto the couch. “Start at the beginning.”

It felt great to confide in someone. Sure, Flash knew… but he didn’t _know_. Peter told Danny everything, from their fights, Sam’s drinking, their first kiss, their secret rendezvous, his insecurities… everything. If there was one person in the world he knew he could trust, it was Danny. When he finished, it felt like a weight had been removed from his chest. He could breath.

They sat in silence for a while, soaking in the raw emotion still hanging in the room.

The, Danny spoke. “And, what will you do with Sam leaves?”

“Go to college. Wait for him to come home.”

Danny nodded. “And if he doesn’t?”

“Then, I’ll keep waiting.”

“That, seems... unhealthy.”

“If it were Ava?” It was a low blow, he knew, but he had to make his point.

“Fair enough, Spider. I am sorry I do not have much advice to give, this is rather unexpected. I was prepared for a different predicament than this.”

Peter stretched, he needed a subject change. Preferably to something lighter. “How did the prank go?”

Danny laughed. “So, Flash climbed in through the bathroom window, hid the tank in a stall- then, when one of the teachers came to see what triggered the alarm, he told him he needed some air and opened the window.”

“They bought it? I mean, it is Flash- they had to have suspected something.”

“Well,” Danny’s smiled disappeared, “he told them an abridged version of your rejection… so, yes, they ‘bought’ his need for air.”

“Oh.” He really should apologize to Flash, explain himself.

“From there, well, I had to get Ava involved.” He winced. “I, uh, ‘owe her’ now.”

“I guess I’ll take that hit.”

“Worth it. The balloons were in place in time for the drop. They must have popped about half of them before realizing there was glitter everywhere!”

“Nice.” Peter yawned. “Sorry I missed it.” He turned to Danny. “I forgot to mention… Sam and I talked and we want to spend more time with our friends. I thought maybe a movie marathon, you game?”

“Of course. As Harry said, we have all noticed your absence.”

Peter reclined onto the couch. Things were looking up for the time being. Now, to keep them that way. “Thank you, Danny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> This got a little heavier than I intended... and Peter wasn't supposed to talk to Danny until the next chapter, but, well, they got off their leashes again. Danny will have some better fortune cookie advice next time :)


	20. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I am falling in love with you,’ he said. ‘Between stolen kisses and whispered promises, I am falling in love with you.’ -Jacorien Els
> 
> I am yours. If I died this moment, I am yours. Forget me. Forget me and love me again as you did the first time. Forget me and come back to me again. -James Joyce, from Exiles: A Play In Three Acts

Once Sam returned from Arizona, things were relatively drama free. Or, as drama free as high school could be. The rumor mill took a while to quiet down after their glitter prank, with accusations centering around Flash, of course. Luckily, the whole thing had kept Sam and Peter’s sudden departure, and Peter’s dance with Flash, from being part of the whispered conversations in the halls.

Despite his sudden, vocal, declaration that he was in love with Sam, Peter couldn't bring himself to say the words again. Even to himself. But, he was running out of time. Prom had been at the beginning of May, and it was already June. Graduation was just a week away, _and_  he was short on time with Sam. Even though they had only been dating a few months, it felt like so much longer. After years of rivalry and friendship, Peter was desperately going to miss Sam as a friend just as much as a _boy_ friend.

Being able to confide in Danny was a double edged sword. He wanted to, knew he could trust his friend with his deepest fears. But, the more he told Danny, the more it felt like he was lying to Sam, even if it was just by omission. He opted to keep his conversations on the subject with Danny to a minimum.

It did prove useful to have someone who knew about their relationship. On movie nights with the group, Danny managed to get them seated close, but not suspiciously so. Usually it ended up with Peter or Sam on the couch, and the other seated on the floor in front of them. Close enough to touch, but not to _accidentally_  snuggle together during one of the sappy romance movies. A tap of the foot there, a head against a leg, hidden by the darkness of the room, but it wasn’t enough.

Flash even came to some of their group outings. The first time was a little awkward since he and Peter hadn’t spoken much since prom. With a nod of approval from Sam, he took Flash aside while everyone else stood in line to purchase go-kart tickets.

“I- uh -never got a chance to thank you for covering. And to apologize for-”

“Bro. We're cool. Like you said, water under the bridge. It's not going to be the last time I'm turned down.” He gave a self deprecating laugh.

“Hey, don’t do that. You're going to find someone who likes you back.” He gave Flash a tender smile. “And I'm still game for helping you with college. You're bound to meet some great people there!”

Flash returned his smile, “Thanks, Peter.”

From then, they were alright. Peter returned to sitting with Luke and Flash a few times a week, but neither of them brought up their study sessions, a silent agreement to not be alone together. It wasn’t until finals that Luke suggested a group study.

It was after one such session that Sam found him lingering outside the library for him. Peter was pacing, he couldn’t stop himself. Warm hands on his shoulders pushed at him, urging him to be still.

“Peter. Hey.”

Peter waited for himself to focus, then relaxed against Sam’s touch. “Sorry.”

“Hey, what happened?”

“I-” Everything had been fine. They studied, shared some stories, and cracked some jokes. Then, Peter was reminded of just how messed up his life had become.

“Peter!” Sam pushed him back into the empty classroom. “Talk to me.”

They were fine, joking, having fun. Then, Peter slipped, said something _too_ funny, _too_  punny. And Flash caught it, called him out ‘Ha, Parker does have a sense of humor’. It was getting harder to keep himself separate- to keep Spider-Man and Peter Parker from blending together.

“I hate it.” He said it outloud before remembering Sam wasn’t privy to his internal rambles. So, he clarified, “Being two different people.”

Sam pushed him into a chair and pulled one in front of him for himself. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Me. Peter Parker: nerd, weak, insecure about everything.” He threw his hands up. “Then, I put on the mask, and I’m confident, strong, _funny_.”

“This is because of what Flash said?” Sam cocked his head to the side. “Pete, you’re all of those things all of the time.”

Peter closed his eyes, shutting out the confused eyes staring at him. “Going on patrol with you last night reminded me of how much I miss it. How much I miss being Spider-Man every day, every night.”

A warm hand rested just above his knee. “You’re not insecure. You’re the best hero this city has- even if you’re currently still _technically_ on backup duty…”

He slumped forward. Sam couldn’t understand. While he was Peter Parker, he was able to let his fears through, let himself worry, wonder if he was good enough. Was he good enough for Sam? He needed to push those fears aside when he wore the mask, needed to be strong, confident. So, he joked, poked fun and kept his head high. It always crashed back when he took it off, wondering if he did everything he could, if he did it the best way.

“Peter. You are strong.”

“For a long time, I was the weak kid.” It felt good to open up to Sam like this. “Bullied, pushed, always top of the class, and always losing. I lost family, and if it wasn’t for M.J., I would have been alone in my grief at school. I couldn’t do anything to stop the bullying, to stop the crushing weight of being _helpless_.” He paused for a moment to pull Sam’s hand into his. “Then, I got my powers. I was strong, but… I couldn’t let people know. I couldn’t let them see the change. So, I stayed weak as Peter Parker.”

“And as Spider-Man…”

“As Spider-Man, I could grow. I could become who I wanted to be.” He swallowed. “It wasn’t until we became friends that I could be _myself_  around someone without the mask. I slipped tonight, let Flash see.”

“Well, for the record… I like all of it.” He squeezed Peter’s hand. “... Maybe you should stop pretending. Yes, when you’re Spider-Man those insecurities can be in the way- but when you’re not wearing the mask, be _you_. Don’t keep falling into the same habits, into being weak.” Sam leaned forward and slowly slid his lips over Peter’s.

“Maybe college will help with that.” _Time_ _would_ _tell_.

“Yea,” Sam grinned, “and everyone can see you for the asshole you are.”

“Thanks, jerk.” He smiled at Sam, thankful he found someone he could trust enough to share this with. “Thank you. For letting me be _me_.”

Sam crashed into him, sliding into his lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. His lips were on his briefly before trailing down his jaw. “You’re perfect.”

Another kiss, this one harder. Peter couldn't stop the sound it drew from him, a soft gasp that left him unsure of just what to do. Sam’s hands were trailing down his chest as he moved his lips against Peter’s, moving down, further, further, until one rested on his hip. The other played with the hem of his shirt, then a warm hand caressed his skin, fingers glided over his abs.

“Shit.” His head fell back, breaking their kiss. He was enjoying it, no denying it -- but, it didn’t feel… right. “Sam…” Why. He pulled his eyebrows together. What was holding him back? Shit. Sam was leaving, he should be wanting everything.

The hands returned to his behind his neck. “Sorry. I-”

“Don’t apologize Sam.” He trailed a knuckle over Sam’s cheek. “I’m the one who is sorry. For making you wait and-”

“I’m fine. Peter, I’m serious. Nothing you’re not ready for.” He kissed the tip of Peter’s nose. “Do you want to talk?”

Peter shook his head. “I don’t know. I- it just doesn’t _feel_ … I want to, I do- want to make out with you, feel you…”

“We’ll get there.” He kissed Peter’s brow.

“But, you’re leaving soon.”

He could feel Sam slump against him, acknowledging the realness of their future. “How about we go beat up some muggers or something?”

“Fuck yes.”

* * *

 

Peter bounced as he put on his cap and gown. Graduation. He wasn’t sure which was more exciting, the actual graduating part- or meeting Sam’s family. _Okay, it was meeting Sam’s family_. There was a certain sort of validation which came from being liked by your boyfriend’s mother- a validation he certainly craved. It was his one chance, they were only in town for two days. Which, while disappointingly short, would make it easier to sneak out to the food show he got Sam tickets for.

“Peter!” The shout was the only warning before MJ crashed into him, hugging him close. “So, this is it!”

“Yea.” He tried to smile, he did. But, graduation meant Sam would be leaving soon.

“So, you _are_  coming to the grad party tonight, right?”

Oh, yea… he forgot about that. “Um,” he rubbed the back of his head, “I don’t think so. I mean, I may, but, I wanted to hang out with Sam before he leaves, ya know?”

Her eyes softened as she patted his arm. “I got ya. Offer is still open, we’ll be partying all night.”

“Thanks.” He knew he should go- they both should go. But, with his family only able to be in town for two days, Sam was eager to spend time with them. Plus, the last time they went to a party it hadn’t ended well. Or it had. The jury was still out on that one.

“Oh! There’s Harry! I’ll see you in a bit!” MJ bounced off to the edge of the football field, giving Harry the same aggressive hug he had just received.

Peter grinned after her before walking back over to the bleachers where Aunt May was sitting. “So, this is it.” He parroted MJ’s earlier words.

“Oh, Peter.” She pinched his cheek. “I’m so proud of you!”

It was a whirl of activity after that. MJ pulling him around for group photos, being ushered to their seats, the chaos of family wandering everywhere. He finally spotted Sam, or rather, was shoved into his side as MJ snapped another photo before whisking him away again. He lamented the lack of time to talk, but there would be plenty after.

Soon enough, they were called to take their seats. Sam was sitting in the front row of graduates, near Ava. Luke was behind them. Danny, Harry, and Flash where the closest to him, but still too far for him to easily talk to. Stupid alphabetical seating. Before he could try and get anyone’s attention, Coulson was at the podium, reading some pre-written speech about _blah_ or _blah_ , Peter really didn’t care. He was itching for it to be over, to be able to talk with Sam, to meet his mom and his sister.

The urge to wolf whistle as Sam walked across the stage was strong, but he held himself back. He searched out the cheers from the bleachers and spotted Carrie. She was sitting next to a lady and young girl. That must be Sam’s mom and sister. He grinned, he couldn’t wait to meet them.

Then, it was over. All the weeks of preparation, all the years of studying- and it was over. Part of him expected fireworks, or a villain attack. _Something_. He waved to his friends as he made his way back to Aunt May, basking in the proud smile she gave him as she pulled him close.

“Hey Parker.” Sam’s voice sounded from behind him and he pulled out of Aunt May’s arms slightly to see him. His family stood near him, beaming just as Aunt May was.

“Hey.”

“Um, uh,” Sam pointed to his family. “This is my mom, Eva, and sister Kaelynn. You met Carrie. Um, Mom, this is Peter and his Aunt May.”

Aunt May gushed, “So nice to meet you!”

“Likewise. Thank you, for being there for Sam. He’s told me a lot about you.”

While they chatted, Carried threw an arm across Sam’s shoulders. “Never thought I’d see you in a cap ‘n gown.”

“Sh’ud up.” He shrugged her arm off him.

“How have you been?” Peter hated small talk, but, it was better than silence. Better than pretending he didn’t want to take Sam behind the bleachers and hold him close, maybe tie him to a post so he couldn’t fly away. But, small talk had it’s way of turning into something with more substance if given enough time, as proven by May and Eva who were comparing recipe notes.

Kae, who had been quiet until then, pulled at Peter’s gown. “You live here… have you met Spider-Man?”

Peter glanced to Sam and Carrie, who only grinned and shrugged.

“Um, I’ve, uh, seen him.”

“He’s my favorite.”

Peter stuck his tongue out at Sam, “Your sister has good tastes.” He ruffled her hair. “Maybe you’ll see him in action, hm?” Patrolling near their hotel shouldn’t be a problem, not at all. “So, you guys want to grab dinner?”

Sam bit his lip. “We’re going to have a family dinner. Carrie needs to catch her flight, so we’re dropping her off at the airport in, like, an hour, then we have reservations.”

“Oh.” Sam needed his family, needed every moment he could get while they were in New York, every moment before he left. He shouldn’t be angry, he knew, but the disappointment must have been evident on his face.

Sam shot him an apologetic look. “Hey, you could always go to MJ’s party?”

“Yea…”

May and Eva rejoined them. Eva gave Peter a hug, “It was so nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry to run, but we need to take Carrie to the airport.”

“It was nice meeting you too, Mrs. Alexander.” On the tip of his tongue was ‘I hope we get to spend more time together, maybe I could visit in Arizona?’ but he bit it back.

Sam gave him another apologetic look before they were walking off. Peter sighed then turned to his Aunt, “I’m going to go meet up with Harry. I’ll see you at home?”

“Of course, dear.”

Before he could move, his arm was gripped by a small hand. Carrie. “Parker, a quick word?”

“Uhhh…”

“I told them I was running to the bathroom while Eva talked with Coulson.” She let go of his arm. “Did you tell him?”

“Uhh…”

“Eloquent. So, no then? Not even just a ‘hey, when you get back from your super secret space mission, we should totally hook up’? He’s head over heels for you. Won’t admit it, really, but everytime we talk, you’re always on his mind.”

“Sorry, I…” Why was it so hard? He’d been lying for months, one more wouldn’t be that bad. “I love him, okay? But, he’s leaving.” More half truths, more half lies.

“Whatever. You two deserve each other.” With a flip of her hair, she was stalking back towards the front of the building.

* * *

 

While he was disappointed he wasn’t invited to dinner with Sam's family, he did understand. It hurt, he wouldn’t deny it, but Sam deserved time with his family without worrying about Peter. Especially since he would be leaving soon. They hadn't talked about it in detail, he had no clue when Sam would announce he would be leaving - but, he did suspect it would be soon. He wasn’t naive enough to expect to have the whole summer with Sam. When the guardians called, he would go. And Peter would wait.

He was desperately looking forward to their date in two days; his birthday gift to Sam would probably be their last real date until he returned. Sure, they could fly around the city, or play video games. But, they were too broke to really afford another dinner out- maybe he could convince Sam to cook for him? Yea, that sounded like a good plan. A lazy smile curled at the edges of his lips. They would just make the best of it.

For a brief moment, he contemplated going to Harry’s party. Yet, he couldn't muster the strength to pull himself off his bed. He would have all summer to spend with his friends. And, even if Sam wasn't currently with him, he would rather text back and forth than spend his whole evening with MJ and Harry trying to set him up again.

Peter: How's dinner?  
Sam: good  
Peter: maybe we could get lunch tomorrow?  
Sam: maybe…  
Sam: hey… can I come over tonight?  
Peter: sure. Window is unlocked  
Sam: k

Peter wasn't sure what time to expect Sam, so he busied himself with various things: cleaning his webshooters, cleaning his room… cleaning under his fingernails. By midnight, the day caught up with him and he yawned, stretching out on his bed as the exhaustion and boredom washed over him. His eyes drifted closed for a moment until he heard a light tap at his window.

He glanced over, seeing Sam hovering just outside. With a wave of his arm, Peter motioned Sam to come in.

“I told you it was unlocked.”

Sam sat his helmet on Peter’s desk. “I didn’t want to disturb you… you looked like you were ready to sleep.”

Peter yawned again. “I am.” He eyed Sam who looked every bit as exhausted as he himself felt. “When do you need to be back to your Mom?”

Sam shrugged. “Tomorrow for breakfast.”

For a moment, Peter just watched Sam, taking in every plane, angle, and shadow on his face. Then, with a bite of his lip, he moved over on his bed and patted the space next to him. What was he doing? Just a few days ago he had pushed Sam away, now he was… _what_?

Sam blinked at him, his face beginning to flush. “ _Peter_.” The whisper sounded more like a hiss, and, for a few agonizing seconds, Peter thought he upset Sam, that it was the wrong thing to do- that he shouldn’t be pushing their relationship this way. Then, slowly, Sam stiffly sat on the edge of the bed. “Peter, what…” He trailed off, his eyebrows knit together as he studied Peter’s face.

_What_  indeed. Peter licked his lips, finding his mouth was suddenly dry. Technically, he knew what to do, what he should want to do, knew he was attracted to Sam, and what that should mean. But it was trapped, deep in a fog, where he could catch glimpses, and when they did more than what was poking out of that thick fog it felt wrong. Sam was the only person he ever enjoyed kissing, but when he was around Sam, ‘kissing’ wasn’t _in_  the fog.

“Y-You're leaving soon, right?” He hated how _weak_  his voice sounded.

Sam sighed and pulled his legs onto the bed, sliding closer to Peter. “I… If I could _stay_...” He closed his eyes, sucking in his bottom lip as he thought. “Peter, I don’t want to hurt you like this.” He laid his forehead on Peter’s shoulder. “You deserve better.”

Peter rolled so he was angled slightly over Sam. “Stop saying that.” He leaned down, capturing Sam’s lips, pressing his body closer. Having Sam in his bed did everything he was afraid it would all those months ago, a searing need coursed through him as he trailed his kiss from Sam’s lips, across his jawline, and to his neck. But, while he felt it, he also _didn’t_ , just like everything else, that need was dampened by the fog, but he pushed forward. Before he could do more than place a light kiss on Sam’s warm neck, he was pushed back by two strong hands on his shoulders. He blinked down at Sam, who looked like he was just as disappointed at the lack of contact as he was.

Peter started to lean back down, but Sam shook his head.

“You… we _can't_  .”

He propped himself on his elbow, “I’m pretty sure we _can_.”

It was met with another shake of Sam’s head. “I-- You’re just-- you’re rushing.” He ran a hand over his face. “I don’t want us to rush.” When he opened his eyes he saw the pained look on Peter’s face. “I want to. Shit. Don’t think I don’t want to… you just... “

He was right, Peter knew. If they did… well, anything… he knew he wasn’t ready, the slight shake of his hand was a dead give away. But- if not now, then when? He reached out and traced the back of his hand along Sam’s jaw line, echoing the path his lips had traveled just moments before. “It’s not rushing if we both want it, right?”

“Peter, no. Your first… it shouldn’t be because I’m leaving soon. You're rushing, and you’ll regret it.” He leaned into Peter’s touch.

“Sam. I-” Peter leaned forward to kiss Sam, but was met with a finger over his lips.

“Please. Don’t.” Sam closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. “I should go.”

“No!” Peter wrapped an arm around Sam’s waist.

“ _Peter_. I’m in your bed. Next to you. If you kiss me again… I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to say no again.”

“I didn’t realise it meant so much to you…”

“How could it not? I don’t want you to regret anything… I don’t want your first time to be…” He trailed off, looking towards the window. Peter could see the wetness beginning to pool in his boyfriend’s eyes, and shit, he felt like such a jerk.

He used the arm around Sam’s waist to pull the other teen flush against his chest. “I’m sorry.” He kissed the back of Sam’s head. “I-- I wanted to… before you left. Please, don’t leave- stay here tonight?”

Sam’s answer was to relax against him and intertwine his fingers in Peter’s. This is what their ‘next’ was, spooning on the bed… as Peter began to drift off, he admitted to himself that his was better.

“Peter?”

“Hmmm.”

“I’m sorry.”

Peter nuzzled the back of Sam’s neck before surrendering to the pull of sleep.  
….

When he awoke the next morning, Sam was gone. His scent still lingered on the pillow, but the sheets had long since gone cold. He wondered what it would have been like to wake up with Sam still there, still in his arms. Everyday. Forever.

Peter yawned as he stretched. Yeah, he could easily see him and Sam, years down the road, snuggling together to ward off the cold morning air. The future was all he had to hold to.

After blinking the sleep from his eyes, Peter grabbed his phone. The time surprised him, it was nearly 11am. It had been so long since he slept so late, no wonder Sam was already gone. They hadn't made exact plans for lunch, but maybe they could still meet up. If not, well, they had tomorrow and their date to the food show.

He pulled up Sam's contact and hit ‘call’, then frowned when it went straight to voicemail. Had Sam’s phone died? It was possible, he hadn't charged it the night before. Or, maybe he had flown to the moon again for some space and time to think. Before he could call Carrie and ask if she had heard from Sam, his SHIELD communicator went off, blinking red with a subtle, but shrill noise.

He raced to answer it. School _was_ out for summer, maybe Fury was finally calling them back in. But, as soon as he answered it, he was greeted by Nova.

“Nova?” Suddenly much more awake, he began to grab for his spidey suit. “What's the situation?”

“Peter….” Sam sounded tired, like he hadn’t slept in days despite having slept next to Peter the previous night. It wasn’t like him to use names, so either he was in _serious_  trouble, or was somewhere safe. He hoped it was the later.

Someone was talking behind Sam, “Hurry up, kid, we gotta go.”

Sam cringed. “I'm sorry, Peter.” He turned to address Rocket behind him. “Give me a few seconds.”

No. No. Nononono. “Sam?” He cursed how weak his voice sounded. Seconds? Sam thought he could say goodbye in seconds? Unless… “This is just a short thing, right? You'll be back for our date tomorrow?”

“Take someone else, Peter. I left the tickets on your desk.” His voice was a forced monotone which Peter saw right through.

“No.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “You're not doing this over the com. Come back here.” He couldn’t see Sam's face- couldn’t see if he was hurting just as bad. “Take off your helmet and tell me.”

Sam shook his head. “Goodbye, Peter. I-I wanted to tell you last night…”

“You knew?” Peter sunk onto his mattress. “You led me… made me think I'd see you tomorrow. And you _knew_ , this wasn't just a hurried pickup?”

“Peter. I'm sorry. I... Please, promise you'll move on. I don’t know when I'll be home.”

“Take off your helmet and say that.” His words didn’t have the bite he wanted them to. “You know I’m going to wait. I’ll wait forever.”

Sam growled. “We're done, Peter. I'm breaking up with you. If that’s what it takes. There, clear. Move. On.”

“N-no. I'll wait. We- we said we'd wait…” He ran the back of his hand over his eyes to clear his vision.

This wasn’t happening. No goodbye kiss, no clutching at each other’s shirts in an attempt to prevent the moment from ending. Peters throat was dry, coarse, as he tried to continue to talk, it felt as if Sam had reached through the com and choked him.

But he had to force the words through.

“Sam, I lo-”

“Don’t!” Sam grit his teeth. “Please,” his voice cracked. “You'll be happier without me holding you back.”

Peter tried to swallow. “Was any of it real?” It was a low blow, but he had to know. Had to ask.

“Forget me.”

It wasn’t an answer, or was it? Peter wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He banged his fist against his pillow, wishing it was something more solid, something he could dent.

“SAM! I LO-”

“Goodbye.”

The feed went dark.

* * *

 

 

When he woke a few hours later, after having run out of tears- and probably oxygen- Peter wasn’t sure what to do. What _did_ he do now? He still couldn’t believe Sam was gone. Had broken up with him -while probably thousands of miles away- and all Peter could feel was numbness. It permeated his whole being, rolled over his heart, encased his legs; the sensation was similar to drowning- and, wasn’t that what he was doing? Drowning? Drowning in memories, replaying over and over like a slideshow in his mind, searching desperately for something solid, something he could hold close to his heart, to warm it, to free it from the icy grasp of his loneliness.

His searching was in vain. Nothing helped. All he saw in every memory was Sam laughing at him, knowing what their ending would be, knowing he was lying to Peter whenever they talked about the future. Every memory shifted, became something else- had Sam been playing with him? Had he just…

No.

No. Peter shook his head. Sam was many, many, things, but he wasn’t cruel. And Peter had to believe it was real, even if Sam had held back, had lied to him. He took a steadying breath like Danny taught him, in-out, again and again, until he felt his legs being to thaw from the clutches of the numbness.

A knock at his door pulled him from his silent brooding. “Not now, Aunt May.” His voice cracked, his throat still raw and dry. He threw his head into his hands, he needed to pull himself from this. It was always going to happen, Sam was always going to leave. The timing could have been better, Sam could have told him the night before, they could have…

“Peter?” It was Danny’s soft voice which came from the doorway. “May I come in?”

Peter nodded, then, realizing Danny couldn't see it, “Y-Yeah.”

“I thought you could use an ear. Or a shoulder” Danny sat on the edge of his bed and reached over to Peter, pulling him to him. “I am here if you wish to talk.”

Yes. Yes, he did wish to talk. He told Danny of his conversation with Sam, how he lied, knew he was leaving, and still chose to do it so impersonally, like he was just asking someone to water his plants while he was gone. Retelling the tale not only helped him move out of the numbing effects of his sorrow, but it let a wave of raw rage wash over him. How little did he mean to Sam? How little had any of it meant? That he could just leave. Ditch him the day before their date...

“Peter. Please, focus your breathing.”

His breaths had become sharp and ragged, and as he calmed his breathing, he also uncurled the fists he had not registered. “Danny… How do I... “

“Move on?” Danny pulled him closer. “I don’t know.” He rested his chin on Peter’s shoulder. “One day at a time. It will come, it will get better.”

He had his share of tragedy in his life, he knew _how_ to cope, how to eventually get up everyday and have it not be the _first_ thing you think about. Even if it was the _second_ , it is still a small victory. His Parents- Ben- he always wondered how Aunt May managed to get up everyday after, managed to take care of Peter, be there for him. Maybe that was her way of coping, being there. He shook the thoughts away, they would only lead down a road he had been on too many times and he knew where it took him.

“We were going to a cooking show tomorrow. Um… You and Ava should go.”

“Maybe you could take Aunt May?”

Peter leaned back against Danny. “No… I don’t think I could get through it.” He sighed. “Danny, he wants me to be with someone else. Move on. Not just with my everyday shit, but to fall for someone else.”

“That will come with time, Peter.”

“I said I’d wait. I intend to.” He tuned in Danny’s arms to give him a watery look. “I tried to tell him I love him. But he wouldn’t let me say it. He doesn’t know how much I--” He dropped his head to the side. “He is _it_ , he’s all I will ever want.”

Danny rubbed soothing circles on his back. “Maybe, in time, that will change.” Before Peter could tell him just where to stick _that_ advice, he continued. “But, sometimes the universe is cruel, it sends us our soulmate at the wrong time. I do not know if there is a way to fix such a mix up, or if both parties are forever separated by cruel fate.”

Peter snorted. “I’m supposed to blame -what? Fate?”

“If you need something to channel your emotions at, it is a good target. I have, on many occasions, used ‘fate’ as an emotional punching bag of sorts.”

A smile snuck through, lighting his face. “I can’t imagine you ever needing to.” It was true- the monk was the embodiment of calm.

Danny only gave him a knowing, if sad, smile, and stood from the bed. “Please, join us for lunch. We’re all missing Sam. Maybe hanging out and sharing stories will help.”

“You sound like he died.” Peter fell forward onto his blankets. “How did you guys know he left?”

“He told us this morning…” Danny bit his lip.

“...”

“Please, do not fault Sam for giving into his insecurities. I believe he would have had a hard time leaving if he said goodbye to you in person. In my opinion, he loves you too, though he wouldn’t let himself say it, and he may have given up his mission to stay with you had he not left the way he did.”

Peter cursed under his breath. Leave it to Danny to make him feel like an ass for being upset with Sam. “Even if that is true- I’m still…” What? Angry? No, he couldn’t be; Sad, yes, a little… but…

“Still…?” Danny raised an eyebrow at him as he threw Peter a pair of jeans and a shirt.

Peter thought as he pulled on his clothes. “...Still in love with him.”

He didn’t miss the sad smile Danny sent his way, but followed him down the stairs, out of the house, and to a waiting cab. Peter paused before ducking into the car, angling his head up towards the bright blue sky. It had no right to look so happy, so cheerfully cloudless - so unaffected by the events of the day. Then, a thought struck him as he searched the vastness above: maybe Sam was looking towards Earth, looking at him. It was a comforting thought.

Even as they joined their friends at the cafe, Peter kept his eyes on the sky, hoping his gaze would somehow reach Sam, somehow comfort him. No matter how far away he was. And maybe, just maybe, Sam was doing the same.

 

~Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, all of you, for reading this fic, and for your support. Your words of encouragement helped push me through the harder days, and gave me inspiration. This is the longest fic I've seen to its end, and it's been a hell of an emotional roller-coaster. 
> 
> I ended up cutting a lot out of the last few chapters for the sake of time. It was beginning to get pretty drawn out. 
> 
> It is hard to believe it is over. Well, the first part anyway. I do have a follow up I’m working on, but I do not know when I’ll have it ready. I want to have it 100% written before I post. While writing this I found there were too many things I wanted to go back and change, small details I wanted to add, or larger plot points I wish I could tweak. 
> 
> I am a sucker for music, especially songs which set the mood for what I am reading or writing. While I was writing the last few chapters I had a shuffled station playing and found a few songs which helped pull at my heartstrings and set me in the mood to write the goodbye scene. Here’s three of them: 
> 
> ‘Since you and I Were True’ by Maev  
> ‘Forget About the Blame’ by Trans-Siberian Orchestra  
> ‘High Enough’ by Damn Yankees
> 
>  
> 
> A part of me always has trouble writing Peter as a teenager. To me, when he was younger he struggled a lot with finding himself and wasn't as self sure. There was more of a clear difference in his behavior when he was ‘Peter Parker’ vs when he was ‘Spider-Man’. That line is blurred as he grows up and matures, as he becomes more confident. The divide is much clearer when you read/watch something side by side with him younger and him older. Part of it is the writers, but I think it’s always been true, to an extent. I wanted to capture some of that young insecurity, have him acknowledge it, and confide in someone about it too. I did cut out some things, but may explore them later. 
> 
> I also didn’t get too in detail with my sexuality headcanon for this fic. Since they are teenagers, I was a little wary about turning it into an “E” rating, even though we all know teenagers are going to ‘do the do’. So, I decided to make Pete be not just unsure of his sexuality, but maybe demisexual (as in, needing a stronger bond with someone to feel sexual attraction --is the short version). It’s a headcanon I’ve had for a while, and finally had a fic to use it in. I left it somewhat ambiguous, so you could read it as him being shy/unsure, unwilling to trust, or demisexual. I had to pull from my own experiences a bit, and found it is harder to describe than I thought without just coming out and saying it. But, he’s never been one to focus on his internal, so I doubt young Peter would have put much thought into what his lack of sexual desire really meant until he started to fall for Sam. Okay, end of that mini rant with TMI. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. You guys rock. Seriously. This is the best fandom I’ve ever been a part of- and I’ve been writing fanfiction on and off for more years than I care to admit. Everyone here is so nice and welcoming. And even where there are disagreements, it’s never ‘nasty’, never pointing fingers, never a witch hunt. 
> 
> I love you guys so much.


End file.
